The Last One Out – Too Stupid To Live

The Last One Out

While I’m exhausted, and had planned to go to bed after this dress was found, Now I have to stay awake and wait for her to either come home, or call from Monroe County Correctional Facility to let me know how what her bail is.

I thought about how close they were to leaving, how I risked being arrested… and I came to one conclusion, as I passed the time by cleaning & packing.

“We’re all too stupid to live….”

To further enforce my theory that life is now some surrealistic television show… the two constables ended up being real practical jokers that enjoy busting peoples chops, getting Magistrates out of bed with people they’ve arrested, and ringing people’s doorbells at all hours of the night to drag them to court.

“Nah, we were never gonna arrest your husband”, one confesses, “we thought keeping him outside to freeze his ass off for a half hour was fun enough….”I can almost hear the “Laugh Track” going off during this.

I never really connected where I’ve seen them before, but they did remember me from a previous encounter. One where her former business partner, John Rose, called and warned us the constables were looking for her at his house. They ended up serving me the court papers.

“Oh yeah…”, one recalled, “Rose was so scared shitless that he gave us directions to your house…. even drew a map with shortcuts! What a pussy!!!!”

Fucking sellout piece of shit….what a shock.

In the courthouse in Tobyhanna, the constables explained a few quick things. Most importantly was the fact that the Magistrate’s wife had recently died, and that he takes his dog everywhere now.

So an entire court proceeding went on, and everyone had to ignore the fact that a Golden Retriever was sitting in the witness stand the entire time.

No… really. You can’t make this stuff up.

Carole returns home, skipping to the door and laughing at the entire episode. My stomach has been in knots for the past three hours, thinking of the worst case scenarios.

Glad she had a fun night.
Only four more days of the insanity of Monroe County.

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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