Leeeeeet’s get reaaaaaady to RUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM {SQUAWK!} BBBBLLLLLLLEEEEEE!
How in the hell did this joke elude Solonor and his evil hench–people (even Planned Parrothood)?
It’s a fourth-grade classic….
KARATE PARROT
A little boy brings his parrot in school for “show & tell”.
“My parrot knows karate, he is a black belt in several forms of martial arts… watch”
The little boy orders his parrot: “KARATE THE DESK!”
The teacher jumps back as the tiny parrot squawks “Hiiiiiii-ya!” and karate-chops her desk in half with one mighty blow with his wing.
“KARATE THE BLACKBOARD!”
The slate blackboard shatters in a million pieces with one kick.
The principal storms in FROM the noise and the kids screaming in jubilation, demanding an explaination.
As the frightened teacher fills him in, the principal exclaims:
“Oh… KARATE, MY ASS!!!!”
bAA-DUM-PAH!!!!
Very nice. The version I first heard involved a voodoo dick.
DOH!!!
I vaguely remember that one… how did it go?
No no no, Solonor is *my* hench-person. Especially on Tuesdays.
Sheesh!
I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s great. And one day, I’ll have a henchman of my very own. Until then, my devotion is for sale.
Finally got some ciggies!! Just wanted to let you know, cause I know you would have had nightmares thinking about me without them!! {{{hugs}}} *smooch*
Is it your mind that comes up with these things or someone elses ? 😛
There once was a man whose wife had a very active libido. As he prepared for a business trip, he worried that his wife’s loyalties would waver. To prevent this, he decided to go to a sex toy shop.
The man at the counter showed him a varied display of dildos and vibrators. The item that caught his eye, however, was a phallic shape in a very worn box.
“Ah,” said the shopkeeper. “That is a Voodoo Dick. It’s very old. Watch this.”
He carefully takes it out of the case and says, “Voodoo Dick, the door!”
The Voodoo Dick attacks the door with such ferver that the wood begins to splinter and come apart at the hinges. At this point, the shopkeeper commands, “Voodoo Dick, the box.” The Voodoo Dick returns dutifully to its casing.
“I’ll take it!” the businessman exclaims.
The man at the counter wraps it up, and cautions, “Don’t forget! When you’re done with it, the stop command is ‘Voodoo Dick, the box!'”
The man brings it home to his wife, who looks at it skeptically. He then says, “Voodoo Dick, my wife!”
The Voodoo Dick springs to life and proceeds to hammer away at the man’s wife. After a series of orgasms, the man says the command to return the Voodoo Dick to its box.
As the shopkeeper told him, he passes along to his wife, “Don’t forget: when you want it to stop, you have to say ‘Voodoo Dick, the box.'”
The man leaves for his business trip the next morning. His wife can’t wait to get him out the door so she can have another go with the Voodoo Dick. She directs it to her pussy, and, after her tenth orgasm tiredly says, “Okay, stop, Voodoo Dick.”
The Voodoo Dick continues to pound her, and she gasps through the onslaught of orgasms, “Voodoo Dick! Stop!”
She decides to drive to the hospital, in the hopes that a doctor can help. On the way, she has her most powerful orgasm yet, and nearly swerves off of the road. The motion is caught by a police officer, who pulls her over.
“Ma’am,” he says, “would you like to tell me what this is all about?”
“I-it’s n-n-not m-me,” she gasps. “Its’ th-this Voo-voo-voodoo Dick!”
The officer looks at her incredulously and says, “Voodoo Dick, my ass…”
LOL!!! That’s the one!
Thanks April….
-e-,I know that you’re going to hate me for this,but I have another blog.
Planned Parrothood!! LMAO!!! Thanks E! I needed that laugh!! ;o)
LMAO! April! 😀