Hello dad… I’m in JAIL!

My good friend, The Yankee Dyke was in New York City for the Quarter-million strong protest against the Republican National Convention. (A subtle hint if I ever saw one, eh?)

Unfortunately there will be no photos because she and her friends were immediately incarcerated… for the unspeakable crime of… of… (I can’t say it…)

Showing up! (aaagh… I said it!)
Now, I’ve known Gina for quite some time now. She’s as much of a threat to National Security as my grandmother.

Read her accounts of this experience at Tales FROM Pier 57.
Continue reading “Hello dad… I’m in JAIL!”

B.B. King: The thrill ain’t gone!

Labor Day Festival

You didn’t go last night, did you?
Damn, you missed a SHOW and a half!
One more reason you all need to come up to the Poconos and visit me!

Me & Randi
We had a perfect spot on the lawn, where we laid out blankets and listened under the stars to some of the best Blues, Jazz & Rock & Roll artists on the planet.

(Sorry, I know I promised my tens of fans a team up of B.B., Lucille, me & Randi… but I am TROOLY not worthy to be on the same stage as that man. Maybe in, like, 150 years or so, ok? Besides I have “Mr. Mom” detail this week, as I am off on vacation, so Carole, Christina and Ashley can work the shows and hang with all the artists. So I have little ones.).
Continue reading “B.B. King: The thrill ain’t gone!”

Mountain Laurel Center for the Performing Arts is back, baybee!

State Rep. Kelly Lewis has done it again:
Lewis Announces Mountain Laurel Center Labor Day Concert Series“.

Of course I knew about it. It’s one of many surprises and changes we’ve got coming down the the pike for the ailing entertainment/tourist industry of the Poconos.

A lot of water and bad blood (and wasted money) has gone under the bridge since last year’s historic opening with Tom Ridge, and the disaster it slowly became.

It was run (to the ground) by morons.
Continue reading “Mountain Laurel Center for the Performing Arts is back, baybee!”

Jim McGreevey Jokes

I seem to be getting hit by a lot of referrals for Jim McGreevey jokes.
I mean what… The Rude Pundit wasn’t brutal enough?

Well, I haven’t heard any yet, but I can certainly blow (no pun intended) the dust off of some old jokes…Are you FROM Joisey?


In the maternity ward, a supervisor noticed all of the babies crying.

All except one, little Jim McGreevey.

One by one they all were silenced as the nurse popped a pacifier in their mouths.

All except one, little Jim McGreevey.

Supervisor: Look at how wonderfully behaved the McGreevey child is… he never cried and you never had to pop a pacifier in his mouth.

Nurse: If I pull his pacifier out of his ass, he’ll cry just like the rest of them. Trust me.


Continue reading “Jim McGreevey Jokes”

McGreevey: So friggin’ what?

I kinda figured there was more to the story of NJ Governor Jim McGreevey stepping down. If he had child pr0n, or was embezzling, or just fucking up the state of New Jersey beyond REPAIR (assuming that’s even possible), that I can understand.

But an affair… with a gay guy? People, get a grip!
He owes his wife and family one hell of an explaination, but I don’t see how that affects him as a governor. I assumed some kind of blackmail/lawsuit was in the works.

He’s a homo, a nancy boy. Big deal. I could have told you that FROM his pictures. He’s too well-groomed to be a straight man (*raises eyebrow at PA Senator Rick Santorum*).

But naturally it’s the “watercooler topic du jour” at work today.
Everyone agrees it’s no reason to step down, but then come the dividing lines between the sexes:

Women (Vaginum Illogicus) – Feel for Mrs. McGreevey, as they feel this is a worse blow to their womanhood than if their husbands had a fling with a cheap female hooker. They don’t understand how she can even stand there with all smiles at the conference.

Men (Penile Beerguzzlus) – “Aw hell, if the situation was reversed, and it was MY wife, I’d like to be there with a video camera, or at least get some polaroids out of the deal!”

Naturally, the ever-so-predictable “All men are pigs” came out of the female camp after I, uhm I mean, this person said this.

Amazing how men and women see things differently.

I’m not dead. No, really.

For a guy whose slogan is “Only the coroner will know for sure”, you can bet your bippy it must be bad when I beg for a doctor’s appointment.

About two weeks ago I damn near collapsed. I come home & I can’t see straight and all of the caffeine pills in the world aren’t helping. Hence, my moreso-than-usual preoccupation with death, lately.

Well, I finally got the results FROM the tests at the hospital.

Are you sitting down?
Continue reading “I’m not dead. No, really.”

Pass the cigars around!

New ‘Bushism’ Born at Bill Signing

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,” Bush said. “They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

See? Who said ingenuity is dead in America?
If the administration wants to hurt us too… well darn it, I guess it’s okay by me.

As long as it’s new and innovative.

Good for you, Mr. President.

In other unrelated news, Michael Moore suprisingly accepted a new job as Bush’s speechwriter yesterday…

Putting the ‘FUN’ back in ‘FUNerals’

Let me just interject some thoughts before giving Witchy back the stage again (isn’t she a great writer?).

I had to go to a wake yesterday (not the soldier FROM Iraq, this one is a friend’s mother… since it comes in threes, most people at work wouldn’t be surprised if I’m going to be #3, so it all has me thinking about my own mortality, and why I keep seeing the Reaper every time I go to the convenience store for a soda refill & cigarettes.).

So after work, I’m picked up where we immediately drive to California* to the wake.
Continue reading “Putting the ‘FUN’ back in ‘FUNerals’”

Proudly powered by WordPress
Creative Commons License
EricBrooks.Com® is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.


Connect