Category: The -=e=- Show

Inside my world of mayhem! I am a Problem Adult, what can I say?

Obervations

Posted on by Eric Brooks

There are two kinds of people in the world…

  1. People that want to be lied to.
  2. People that *say* they don’t want to be lied to (but really, they want to be lied to).

There wouldn’t be all those Nigerian con-artists, Elvis sightings and the Weekly World News if it weren’t true. And the old breakup line “It’s not you, it’s me.” wouldn’t be so popular.

Trust me. You WANT to be lied to.
This is why we teach our kids that many of their observations are considered “rude”. Children are WAY too honest and have to be taught to lie in polite society.

I observe people all the time. The good and the bad.
Most people don’t want to hear the bad. And when they do, they seem to forget all the good things I’ve said about them. They just remember the bad. They get incredibly defensive and nasty.

I guess it looks like I’m passing judgement on them, but I’m not. I see things differently than most people. I look beyond the mask you’ve put on and see all the pain and the scars, and all your flaws… the things you either don’t know (or don’t WANT to know) about yourself.

And believe me… I am my own worst critic. You can’t put me down as well as I can.

I don’t see you and all your flaws as a good or a bad person.
It just makes you human. That’s all.

No judgments. Just observations.

I hate UTF-8!!!!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I feel I need to share that with you.

If charsets were athletes, UTF-8 would be in the special olympics and have a special handicap sticker on it’s car!!! GAWD!!!! ARRRRGH!!!!

Currently I’m doing a MySQL database which features musicians with lots of wild schwas and tildes and accents. My host (for reasons that elude me) now has it so the data converts to UTF-8. So artists like Mel Tormé and Niels-Henning Ørsted Pedersen turn into illegible words with question marks.

This is why I still use ISO-8859-1 for my charset, I mean how will Mötley Crüe survive the internet with such a restrictive and retarded charset like UTF-8??? I have since had to drop my “®” from WHUZZUP!® because most feeds crash from it.

So if you need these funky characters you can use this chart.

Whoever you are that came up with UTF-8… I hate you too.

ANARCHTICA: Colder than hell

Posted on by Eric Brooks

How am I?
Are you SURE you want to know?

Well the nightmares are getting worse. Much worse. I’m afraid to sleep. I take little cat naps, and I’m tired all the time. Recent events have left me questioning what’s real and who is just feeding me bullshit to get what they can out of me. I have just enough energy to put on a “happy face” for an hour or two before I have to excuse myself, and break down and cry again. Most of the time I don’t want to get off the couch to do anything.

I’ve lost that spark too. That part of inspiration that helps me to tap into my imagination and make magic. It’s gone. Like someone blew out the pilot light in me. Nothing adds up or makes sense to me anymore.

I find me back in the little world I’ve come to know as “ANARCHTICA” (Note the spelling, I’m not talking about the South Pole). It’s the place in my mind where love, hope, and forgiveness are non-existent. A world ruled by chaos and madness. A cold, desolate place where the sun’s rays are blocked by the dark clouds, and everything is in dismal shades of grey.

It’s where my darkest fears and nightmares come from.
Continue reading “ANARCHTICA: Colder than hell”

The Broken Lion

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Years of captivity tried to break the once-proud lion.
But when he closed his eyes at night, he entered a world of his own making.
He was no longer in his cage as he blissfully dreamt.
He was home once more, happily ruling his kingdom in the warm sun, or he imagined his escape.

One night, by chance, his cage was opened.
As he wandered out to breathe free air once more, he realized it was too late for him.
His home, his friends and all his loved ones were long gone.
The cold steely city around him wasn’t freedom… it was merely a larger cage.

And he never felt as alone as he did that moment.

He bowed his head in sadness and resignation,
And found his place back in his cage with regal dignity
As he closed his eyes for the final time, and drifted off into oblivion…
… he was finally free at last.

Each day is a curse.
Freedom is merely a state of mind.

Spamming spammers and the spam that they spam me with

Posted on by Eric Brooks

You know. Maybe if I didn’t spend hours cleaning up all the comment spam on this site, I’d actually have time to post something here for my tens of ones of fans here.

When you’ve had a blog since 1998 (oh yeah baby, a YEAR before Blogger came out, I’m ahead of my time!) you have a BONANZA of places to leave comments if you’re a spammer.

Oh, and by the way. I hate comments. I think they’re the WORST thing to happen to blogs. Instead of someone commenting on something I said here on THEIR blog (thereby their readers come here…) now, they come here comment and that’s that. Where’s the community now???

I’m noticing a trend. They seem to home in on select posts as obviously the spambots know it’s a safe place to leave their crap.

So now I lock each post as they come in. (HA HA! *Gives the spammers the finger in defiance*)
The spam is *already* dying down.

If there is anyone who knows how to beat ANYONE at their own game…
… it’s me. 😀

Goodbye to the old neighborhood

Posted on by Eric Brooks

So what do you do when you check out your old Brooklyn neighborhood on Google earth and find out your home of 2 decades is gone? What was Eric Brooks like running around in the Bushwick section of Brooklyn 20 years ago? Who is the “Mystery Redhead” all over this site? Who did I hang out with? What became of “The Crew”?

Well… you just have to find out, don’t you?

A mini-series I ran, with cross-references to songs in our Jukebox (and lots of pics from the Eric Brooks Legacy Archives):

Goodbye 1303 Greene Avenue – Only in the Problem Adults “Wonderland Avenue” section. Where we look back and laugh at ourselves. (There’s also the long-awaited tale of my appearance on the Ricki Lake show in 1994.)

(Of course membership and certain security clearances are needed, PM me {Erox} and let me know.)

On losing your will to live…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I was playing Pac-Man in the Problem Adults Arcade, and I noticed something: Once I lose my first guy, it’s all downhill. It’s like “What’s the point of going on?”

I was like that as a kid in the arcades too.

So in the middle of one game I heard a voice that said “Trust in the Force, Eric!“, so I closed my eyes and played, relying on that ethereal inner-voice to guide me.

JESUS! I WAS EVEN WORSE!!!!

What the hell was I thinking listening to voices anyway??? 🙁

Watching the calendar?
Wondering what a middle-aged Eric Brooks will be like? Just a reminder:
I’m not a candle.

I’m a rocket..

Take that any way you want.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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