Category: Old Stuff

Old posts here from 1998 – 2003. Frankly, I’m too lazy to sort them, and I don’t think anyone cares, really.

My, that’s an impressive erection in Rockefeller Center, if I do say so myself.

Posted on by Eric Brooks

We’re all watching the Christmas Tree lighting on TV at this moment, waiting for my son’s godmother’s son to perform (He’s staying at his mom’s house in Maspeth this week… I’ll sell any Brian Setzer fans her phone number for the low, low price of $50 each. Sure I’ll hear about it later FROM my in-laws, but hey… a buck is a buck.)

Moreso, we just saw on tv that the tree is FROM our own Mr. Rizzo…

Quite the mogul here in Anarchtica, owner of our community, partner in Tom Ridge’s parting legacy for Pennsylfuckingtucky: The Mountain Laurel Arts Center, and unveiling plans for an even bigger community.

Imagine the effects of some power-hungry despot forming an unholy alliance, in my quest to make Anarchtica the SIXTH borough of New York City?

Just a polite reminder to the gentile citizens of CyberTown…
I AM EVERYWHERE YOU, FUCKERS!!!!!
THERE IS NO ESCAPING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (and my connections)!!!!!!!

Thanks for your time. :0)

Ask the Magic Dongle

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Wow. Dongles are not only appearing everywhere, but they’re smarter than we originally thought.

Angel has a DONGLE that answers questions too!
(Click on “Ask Dongle!” on the bottom left)

Welcome, all of you, searching for Wet T-Shirt pics. The posts you’re looking for is here and here. (All I need to do now is get Terrifica in a wet t-shirt, and I’ll be back up to 1,000 hits a day in NO time!)

Hunting update: AWWWW… COME ONNNN NOWWWW!!!!
The deer are fucking cheating!

That’s it…. tomorrow: HAND GRENADES.

I love waking up to the sound of gunshots in the morning!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

At first, I jolted out of bed. Thinking this was all a bad dream, and I was safe at home in Brooklyn….

But then I realized this was even better:
So loooong suckers! IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF HUNTING SEASON!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!

That’s right… here in Pennsylfuckingtucky, it is the time honored traditional holiday of “Buck”. Sure kids have to go to school on Veteran’s Day, or when there’s 22 feet of snow on the ground, but all schools, and most municipal facilities are closed today, so kids can enjoy themselves by going out with their dads and busting a cap in a deer’s ass!
Continue reading “I love waking up to the sound of gunshots in the morning!”

When worlds collide…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Jeesus!!!??!!??

When the heck does a cyberworld, work, and personal life hit all in one spot to anyone else?

From Today’s Pocono Record:
Jeff Huffert of CB Gifts was up almost all night making fresh treats for the sale. His booth featured hand-made colored white chocolate pops, boxed sets and centerpieces shaped as Santa’s sled, all edible.

JEEEZ!
As you know, Jeff was here for thankgiving. Also crashed here this weekend. I feel sorry for the poor bloke…

He’s currently employed by a SLAVE DRIVER who made him work all friday night to make chocolate pops and chocolate Christmas houses.

I know his boss all too well. Rumor has it that she’s paying her graphic designer with sexual favors to build her a website… not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;0)

Help Wanted: Straight man for comedy routines

Posted on by Eric Brooks

… well the ‘straight man’ can be gay, too. Just don’t look for me to share the same hotel room when we go on tour. (I’m homophobic on Tuesdays and Saturdays… rest of the week, I’m okay up until the third ‘Racist Friday’ of the month…. then there’s the half hour of ‘religious piety’ and 15.2 seconds of ‘political correctness’ each second month…)

Inspired by Cootie’s Ready Made Punchlines, and I figure if I add a few of my “starters”, maybe someone can come in, whip up a middle part and make some decent jokes…
Continue reading “Help Wanted: Straight man for comedy routines”

The hand that rocks the dreidel…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Alright… eight crayyyyyyyzee nights!

If you’re not:

  • Scrambling across malls and rioting for Christmas gifts
  • Blowing up shit in the name of Allah for Ramadan
  • Doing, uhm, Wiccan stuff…
  • Most likely NOT reading this post because it’s Friday after sunset…

    • THEN YOU MUST BE CELEBRATING CHANUKKAH!
    Continue reading “The hand that rocks the dreidel…”

    The weather outside is frightful…

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    …. but we had a nice cozy fire going in the fireplace all day, so we really didn’t give a damn. :0)

    Of course, even Anarchtica had a Norman Rockwell-esque setting to it, as a snowstorm closed all the schools down on Wednesday. If I recall, someone was wishing for a “White Thanksgiving”, so for those who didn’t, I offer you this… and sincerely hope none of you are taking it as rubbing it in (though it’s SO obvious I am).

    “Turkey with the Demon ’02” was a smashing success due to the Mrs’ culinary skills and all our wonderful guests: Which included entertainer Johnny Kai (who was thrilled to hear the news from another fellow Hawaiian that the waves in his home island of Oahu is enjoying 8-12 foot waves); our friend, Jeff dropped in with his mom and sister… and a bunch of neighbors stopped by for coffee & dessert…

    … and of *COURSE* there was TWO pecan pies among all the other cakes!

    Hollow Be Thy Name: The origin of Anarchtica

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    Sherri recently asked, as did Shasta. “What the hell is up with this site and all the disturbing imagery?”. I made a lot of new web friends over the last few months… to explain this all would require a recap of the last 2 1/2 years of my life (which most of my friends that come here already know).

    This was buried in the comments, I thought I’d reprint it:

    Once upon a time, I had a fancy ol’ dot com address, I named my whole little world “CyberTown”… tons of downloads, real successful site. That little guy there in the blue zorro outfit was my mascot “CyberPal”.

    Due to personal problems this time last October, I flipped out, tore it all down, put up a blog called “Enemy of the State”, lots of whining about my problems (very therapeutic) my CyberPal mascot becomes this masked avenger for justice.

    In July of this year, I was hit with court orders to remove certain content… it was easier to just tear it all down and start again. (I just don’t have the time now…)

    So “A N A R C H T I C A” is the sequel to “Enemy of the State”… it picks up with Cybertown being decimated and overrun by Astaroth and his demonic forces.

    (The picture you’re talking about is a couple embracing themselves before the nuclear explosions turn them into skeletons…)

    No hope, and the only way out is by way of a body bag.
    Happy, chipper stuff, y’know? :0)

    In other news…

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    It seems the dispute below has been dealt with…
    Pages have been taken down, and certain comments were asked to be removed…

    So before I’m accused of being a “ghoul” or a “vulture” (It’s okay when *I* say it. When YOU say it… it’s WRONG!), time to move on.

    In other news: I found the terminator for my scanner. It’s been missing since I moved in April.

    dongle.gif

    While it looks like a DONGLE (in it’s thickness and fatness, and the fact that you stick it in the rear of a port.). It is NOT a DONGLE, it is a TERMINATOR.

    Everyone see the distinction?

    Lotsa pics are on the way….
    (No not of me “plugging” the rear of a port… this is a FAMILY-ORIENTED site, you dirty little monkeys… I’m talking about pics in a scanner! YEESH!)

    Proudly powered by WordPress
    Creative Commons License
    EricBrooks.Com® is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

    Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

    Connect