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Ahoy! Stupidity abounds in Capitol Hill and the blogosphere. Let’s watch!
Taliban Say Attack Shows They Can Strike at Will
KABUL (Reuters) – A rocket attack aimed at Kabul’s international airport showed the Taliban have the ability to target anywhere in Afghanistan, the GROUP said on Friday, warning the Americans the country would become their “burial ground.”
Hmmmm… where have heard that before. Comical Ali in Iraq?
Continue reading “Remember Afghanistan?”
DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) – Vice President Dick Cheney on Tuesday warned Americans about voting for Democratic Sen. John Kerry, saying that if the nation makes the wrong choice on Election Day it faces the threat of another terrorist attack.
“That’s right, you [expletive deleted] liberal pansies,” Cheney elaborated, “right now this great nation stands at the brink of annihilation as really REALLY scary non-white [expletive deleted] terrorist types will take us back to the 3rd century, rape our women, blow up our buildings, and convert our children to Islam as they run us through plastic shredders!!!!”
“Only Bush can save us all. Make your choice America. No pressure now.”
Continue reading “Cheney: Vote for Kerry, and you’re all gonna DIE!!!!”
I’ll be 100% honest with you, I’m not thrilled with John Kerry. I thought General Clark or Howard Dean were much better choices. These were guys that didn’t take shit, and if Joe Lieberman (D- Sellout) had spent as much energy bringing down Bush as he did Clark and Dean in the primaries… this election would practically be over. The fact that Kerry is “Not Bush” works for me to get out and vote, but that’s not going to work for everyone.
“They said Howard Dean was a loose cannon, but compared to John Kerry, at least Dean has a cannon.” –Bill Maher, talking to Dean last Friday, on Maher’s HBO show
Bush scores big points FROM me for one thing in this campaign: SIMPLICITY. It’s what you need to reach the people. Not one thing he’s saying is true, but it sure sticks in your head!
Continue reading “Why is Kerry losing? (Part One)”
The Issues? WHO CARES ABOUT THE ISSUES??? The voters want a down and dirty fight! Name one election that was won by a candidate who took the high road? (Hint: 0)
Another thing that turned a lot of people off FROM last week’s Republican National Hatefest™ was the Purple Heart Bandaids being passed around, basically calling John Kerry and anyone else who bled for our country a bunch of sissies and crybabies?
Is that what Republicans think of our men and women in the armed forces and their sacrifices?
Continue reading “Purple Heart Band-Aids… niiiice.”
My good friend, The Yankee Dyke was in New York City for the Quarter-million strong protest against the Republican National Convention. (A subtle hint if I ever saw one, eh?)
Unfortunately there will be no photos because she and her friends were immediately incarcerated… for the unspeakable crime of… of… (I can’t say it…)
Showing up! (aaagh… I said it!)
Now, I’ve known Gina for quite some time now. She’s as much of a threat to National Security as my grandmother.
Read her accounts of this experience at Tales FROM Pier 57.
Continue reading “Hello dad… I’m in JAIL!”
I seem to be getting hit by a lot of referrals for Jim McGreevey jokes.
I mean what… The Rude Pundit wasn’t brutal enough?
Well, I haven’t heard any yet, but I can certainly blow (no pun intended) the dust off of some old jokes…
In the maternity ward, a supervisor noticed all of the babies crying.
All except one, little Jim McGreevey.
One by one they all were silenced as the nurse popped a pacifier in their mouths.
All except one, little Jim McGreevey.
Supervisor: Look at how wonderfully behaved the McGreevey child is… he never cried and you never had to pop a pacifier in his mouth.
Nurse: If I pull his pacifier out of his ass, he’ll cry just like the rest of them. Trust me.
I kinda figured there was more to the story of NJ Governor Jim McGreevey stepping down. If he had child pr0n, or was embezzling, or just fucking up the state of New Jersey beyond REPAIR (assuming that’s even possible), that I can understand.
But an affair… with a gay guy? People, get a grip!
He owes his wife and family one hell of an explaination, but I don’t see how that affects him as a governor. I assumed some kind of blackmail/lawsuit was in the works.
He’s a homo, a nancy boy. Big deal. I could have told you that FROM his pictures. He’s too well-groomed to be a straight man (*raises eyebrow at PA Senator Rick Santorum*).
But naturally it’s the “watercooler topic du jour” at work today.
Everyone agrees it’s no reason to step down, but then come the dividing lines between the sexes:
Women (Vaginum Illogicus) – Feel for Mrs. McGreevey, as they feel this is a worse blow to their womanhood than if their husbands had a fling with a cheap female hooker. They don’t understand how she can even stand there with all smiles at the conference.
Men (Penile Beerguzzlus) – “Aw hell, if the situation was reversed, and it was MY wife, I’d like to be there with a video camera, or at least get some polaroids out of the deal!”
Naturally, the ever-so-predictable “All men are pigs” came out of the female camp after I, uhm I mean, this person said this.
Amazing how men and women see things differently.
New ‘Bushism’ Born at Bill Signing
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,” Bush said. “They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
See? Who said ingenuity is dead in America?
If the administration wants to hurt us too… well darn it, I guess it’s okay by me.
As long as it’s new and innovative.
Good for you, Mr. President.
In other unrelated news, Michael Moore suprisingly accepted a new job as Bush’s speechwriter yesterday…
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