WHUZZUP!

The eBay auction for Rocky’s slightly-used underwear is over.

Psycho Mike said the un-skidmarked skivvies were going to go for about $20.00, and nobody believed him. The bidding ended at $28.01.

What will those goofballs think of next?

Got a message from my mom via my new Microsoft^® Ouija Board^™ :

"Stop playying rough with the wimpey kidz in the playground…"

I think I’m off to find some new friends to clown around with, instead of wasting my links on you dorks…
(I never said my mom was the best speller!)

I just finished wiping off the iced tea that I just spewed all over my screen.

I just caught a glimpse of the “Halcyon” font at Printfont, with his little, uh, “dingbats” and I totally lost it!!! OMG, HAHAHA!!! I love that guy! I had to download it.

I already have Heather’s. I use it to write steamy love letters to myself, and then I leave ’em around the house for Carole to find.

I’m an insensitive bastard that way.

Hey Jo, is a Webmistress font coming out soon? Your new checks from the bank came here by mistake. :0)

Can anybody please tell me the point of “Columbus Day”????

Leif Erickson and Amerigo Vespucci were here waaaay before him, and the so-called “Indians” also beat him here by, like, 40,000 years… so what’s the big deal? He set out for a shorter route to the Indies; and after months of his crew, living on a steady diet of vermin, going: “Uh…helloooooo..? You sure you did this ‘exploring/captain’ stuff before, pal??!!???… he lands on the other side of the planet.

The guy was a friggin’ moron. Simple as that.

And he didn’t land in what we would call “America” either. He landed somewhere in
(Oh, get this!) The WEST Indies.

Talk about covering up a SERIOUS FUCK-UP!!!!
It gives me hope that *I’LL* get a holiday someday.

So I’m hearing everyone wishing each other “Happy Columbus Day” today. And that’s it.

Now I feel like we should be doing something with this “third day off” besides winterizing our summer places. But what?

• Sit at a table and give thanks to the Lord that we screwed the Indians over… oh wait, that’s Thanksgiving.
• Give out gifts. But what? Fried Rats? A Compass?

• And you thought no one would notice….Had fun in Reno, huh?
• Congratz Matt & Kay…
• Heavy stuff tonight… forgiveness and serenity. Definite “must-reads” and compels me to contribute to these philosophical posts: Do you think they’re real?

The nightmare continues. Make no mistake.

This time, all of my real-life friends and family are involved and helping. I’ve let a few online friends know what’s been going on. It makes our troubles since June seem trivial.

How bad is it…? I had gray hairs develop in a week’s time. I’m only 35.

Fuck you Poconos! I wanna go home. Carole wants to stay & fight… I want to grab what we can and run for it!

We drove in for my aunt’s wake in Glendale, Queens, yesterday. The city I swore never to set foot back in, two years ago, never seemed more beautiful… the cold steel buildings welcomed me as we crossed the Triborough Bridge.

Driving though Main Street, Flushing, the kids thought I lost my mind.

“OOH… Grafitti!!!”
“LOOK, A MUGGING!!!!”

“Lock your doors, kids…those two guys are looking to carjack someone!!!!”
” I can’t read a goddamn sign on the streets, it’s all in Korean…ain’t it great???”

The kids were terrified, and daddy was in total bliss! It all just felt…right?

But is it any different? The kids are frightened at home. Life is a nightmare in the Poconos too, with so many legal hassles… they have no security there. We left New York City to give them a better life. Yet they’re scared. They’re always scared… and it’s killing me.

I can take any punk down in the streets. Did it my whole life. I have the street savvy to survive New York City.

But I can’t fight a corrupt legal system.
Fuck you Poconos!!! I want to go home… before it’s too late.

• Cast my vote for Karl Auerbach for Board Of Directors in ICANN today. What did you guys do to make the web a better place, lately? (Kudos to The Head Lemur for keeping such an important issue in the spotlight, and for being such a good sport in a great race.)
• From my fortune cookie this afternoon: “Celebrating a party, when the villagers have all lost interest long ago, makes for a lot of wasted cake…”

Rocky’s underwear is on auction at eBay. Bidding’s picking up momentum, and getting fierce. (Hey, with Rocky, Sue and Psycho Mike plugging this website all morning on the radio, you *know* I’m gonna keep pushing this! Hey, Rocky even signed my guestbook…KEWL!!!!)

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Aw man, I SUCK!
(Via Zeldman:) HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEAD LEMUR!