I’ve been a bit reflective today.
I’ve been doing this page since April of 1998. There was no Blogger. In fact, there were no blogs. There were journals, and “what’s new” pages having to adapt or die like a dinosaur. I’ve seen people come, I’ve seen them go.
I’ve seen people learn the hard way that “freedom of speech” comes with a price. I’ve seen people complain of the “popular crowd”. I’ve seen the elite and the most despicable fall, and fall hard. I’ve seen people shattered to find that a sick person never existed. I’ve seen those stay silent about their maladies and/or tragedies. I’ve seen knee-jerk posts which the writer wishes they had never written. I’ve seen the unbelievably judgemental who can’t place themselves in someone else’s position. Employers and judges have read some people’s most innermost thoughts in public. Blind hatred. Mob mentality. Ignorance. People fired. People divorced. People alienated. People banned. People sued. People whose very lives have been destroyed.
It’s the community we live in. Whether it’s the digital one we surf every night, or the brick and mortar one we drive in and out of. We all don’t have to get along. We all don’t have to be nicey-nicey and pretend we’re friends, and everything is peachy-keen.
There’s good in it too. Lot’s of it.
We take care of our own. We defend our friends, even if we believe they are wrong. We support those in need of a helping hand… we’ve all been there. We keep each other company.
I’ve debated for a while if it’s worth it all. To me, anyway.
I’ve seen the very same people whom I’ve gone to bat for say the cruelest things about me in comments in other topics. I wonder why I bother wasting my time agreeing with someone’s post when they see me as nothing more than a 2-dimensional cartoon character, they’ve made up their mind as to my motives, and occasionally lump me in the same sentence as some of the most revolting beings I’ve ever run across.
Is that what you really think of me? Is that what you really think of others?
We all have our reasons for what we do. I suppose all we are really doing is “leaving our mark”. To let someone know we are here, with our opinions and our points of view. I borrowed a meme from someone yesterday. As I erased their answers to put in my own, I saw a certain line repeated over and over:
“I want to make a difference”.
Somehow, I never noticed it before. As many times as I’ve read their answers.
Ironically, before I even read this particular entry, I had answered an email from this person… one of the things I had told them was: “I hope you make a difference”. I’ve sensed that quality about them from day one.
Some people can see beyond the words. Most people can’t.
Another recurring theme in blogs is “There is so much more to me than my blog”. And it’s true. You can’t capture the complexity of a whole human being by just words on a screen.
Most especially not by their own words. The truth has many faces, many sides. Much like a diamond. A blog is merely one person telling their side to a story. Without at least three or more sides, you’ll never know the truth. We are however we chose to present ourselves in this medium. But we are all definitely more than just one or two posts.
Sometimes I question if my two cents on every topic under the sun is really necessary. Yes, we all have our thoughts on this topic/that topic. I aggravate myself by some people’s opinions, and I have to agree with others, some can even change my way of thinking. I can only control me.
My most important battles have been fought off-screen. Some of my victories, my defeats, my most painful and darkest moments have never made it to a web page. I could never find the right words.
I’m sure it’s the same with you.
I can’t change your perception of me. I won’t even waste my time trying. I can only choose to embrace you, or ignore you.
The truth is what you chose to believe.
Everything you know is because someone told you it is so.