American Husbands wanted

It just came to my attention, that here in the resort, that there are at least two female exchange students from Russia that don’t want to go back.

Their plan is to land husbands… the line forms at the left.

They’re actually quite attractive, hardly any facial hair. 😀
Naw, seriously… they’re actually cuties, guys.
And no “humps & dumps”… uhm, that ploy was already tried today. 😉

And once again I have been asked by someone in the community if I know “any available guys”. When did I suddenly become “a matchmaker”??? What is it, my uncanny ability to spot a scumbag a mile away???

Allow me to share my most prized secrets:

Tip #1: The handshake test. I don’t know how well this will work with ladies, because even I ease up on the grip with women considerably. But with guys? If I feel like I’m shaking a dead fish… you’re fucked. You are a sleazy douchebag with something to hide. A certain someone never listens to my warning about the “handshake test” with their boyfriends… and I have *never* been wrong.

Tip #2: If they are looking up, to *your left* (their right) during a difficult question…THEY’RE LYING. They are accessing the right hemisphere of their brain (the creative side) for something “good” to tell you.

Tip #3: You want me to fix you up with a hot available studmuffin (it kills me to say, there’s plenty in the Poconos… some are even better lookin’ than me. Only SOME.)…. There is a right way and a wrong way…

  • The RIGHT way: “Eric, he’s gotta be like you… only single.”
  • The WRONG way: “Eric, he’s gotta be like you… only sane.”
  • Crazy people have feelings too, you know. 🙁

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