Author: Eric Brooks

Web & Graphic Designer, Blogger, Musician, Evil Clown. I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. Approach with food.

A curse on Sara Freder

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Ok…. it’s official, psycho-charlatan extraordinaire Sara Freder has crossed the line. She has inadvertently cursed me. I went to her site a month ago for kicks, and she has been spamming me non-stop with lousy predictions ever since…. this was the one for today:

“For me now, there is no doubt: an abnormal event took place at a precise moment in your life. It subsequently thwarted your capabilities and still spoils your real chances of success today.”

“I can even tell you precisely that this dramatic event took place during your adolescence, when you were about 13, I think it is difficult for you to remember anything precise. That event happened in autumn; the weather was bad and you were surrounded by many people, probably during a family gathering. At that precise moment, a person took advantage of these circumstances to put a curse on somebody.”

There’s a secret to fortune telling and psychic readings. They butter you up by making poignant observations about you, which opens your subconscious to some vague generalized bullshit which you will later interpret as their prediction coming true. As a general rule, I find myself going for a psychic reading because I think paying five bucks to sit at a table and having a pretty woman hold my hand and gaze in my eyes is much cheaper than buying them dinner. (I’m a romantic that way.) 🙂

Many of you reading this, I make a prediction: Good fortune will come to you on the 15th.
How do I know this? Many of you are paid bi-weekly. Odds are the 15th will be a payday for you. Or… something fortunate will happen… because something fortunate happens every day, but now you will be SPECIFICALLY looking for it on the 15th, and will be amazed at my psychic ability!

No really, come back to this post on the 15th, and regale me with what wonderful things happened on the 15th for you.
Continue reading “A curse on Sara Freder”

Boob-O-Vision

Posted on by Eric Brooks

(I’m reprinting this from a discussion board because I’m too lazy to write a new post)

Another fascinating revelation (well for me, anyway), I’m currently reading “The Devil’s Notebook” and stumbled across an interesting factoid: Anton LaVey hated television.
Continue reading “Boob-O-Vision”

I miss him already.

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Rest in Peace, your Eminence.I was quite taken back with Reverend Mykeru’s writeup on Pope John Paul II’s passing.

I’ve been mainly of the Protestant brand of Christianity, so the Pope always represented the “wrong” kind of Christianity, though I never took a hatred to Catholicism like Jack Chick did.

Actually, I really liked this Pope. Sure he was “a funny little guy with the beanie” and the butt of a lot of my jokes sometimes, but all in all he was a good man who had the task of holding together a dying and archaic institution, wracked with scandals and falling apart at the seams.
Continue reading “I miss him already.”

Children of Loki… REJOICE!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Yes… to many, April 1th has all the magic and power as Christmas. For the Eternal Prankster it is one of the High Holy Days on the calendar.

If you recall last year, this entire site was in mirror reverse. Two years before that, I was reveling in a classic gag where I became a woman and seduced some asshole and put out all his letters online for his wife and business associates to see (and I did it LONG before that Libertarian “Girl” did.)….

There’s one prank ready to spring in the office as we speak. I will let you know how it goes.

Pulling pranks are easy. You just have to have a great sense of humor and be a vicious prick at the same time.

You know who’s NOT good at it? The Pope.
I mean come on… immediately after Terri Schiavo, you’re gonna pull this “Grave Condition” stunt on April Fools day no less, and expect me to fall for it???

Nice try, but timing is everything, your Eminence.

UPDATE – 2:45PM: Pope John Paul II has passed away.
UPDATE II – 2:53PM: OOPS! False alarm. A Cardinal stepped on the EKG Monitor plug by accident. HE LIVES!

Fun quizzes II

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Ethical Philosophy Selector – Whose philosophies are you most like (Assuming you have ethics to begin with). I was most surprised to see me seeing eye to eye with Fred Nietzche. Militant Atheists and those annoying FreeThinkers worship him. But I really got to admit he’s got a point with “There are no facts. Only Interpretation.”
Continue reading “Fun quizzes II”

Keep it Brief, stoopid!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

In the world of web design and advertising, there is the rule of “KISS” (“Keep It Simple, Stupid!”).
This basically means that your HTML masterpiece isn’t worth a crap if your readers don’t bother to wait for it to load, or your magazine spread loses its message when you clutter it to show off your Photoshop and Quark prowess.

I got the following comment from a Comment Spammer, which I found invaluable.

“When you wish to instruct, be brief; that men?s minds take in quickly what you say, learn its lesson, and retain it faithfully. Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mind. “

It’s so true.
Why do you think the simplicity of the Bush campaign beat out the long-winded Kerry?
Why does Instapundit is so popular over so many other blogs?
Why do major companies pay a fortune for a 30-second commercial when they can make a half hour infomercial on late night tv?

Not every one is an intellectual with a long attention span. In fact I’d say very few are.
If you want to reach out to the masses…. Keep It Brief, Stupid!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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