If your job sucks, and you know it… clap your hands.

Nope. Not me. I couldn’t be happier!
Up to date equipment, relaxed artistic environment, cool co-workers, and a state-of-the-art recording studio being built in the room next to me as I write this.

However, for the less-fortunate, I offer from MSN Careers:
Six Signs That You Should Run – Not Walk – from Your New Job

1. You ask your new boss for supplies and she hands you a No. 2 pencil and legal pad — and nothing else.
2. You were shown to a cubicle your first day of work, given a company manual and haven’t been spoken to since.
3. Every time you tell someone about your new job with the company they raise their eyebrows and say “Really? Wow… good luck with that.”
4. After two weeks on the job, you are already halfway to becoming the employee with the most seniority.
5. You answer the phone while the company’s secretary is away from her desk and find that the voice at the other end is a collection agency calling for the third time that week.
6. You notice that every day for the last five days, at least one person has run crying from your boss’s office.

Now, I realize I’ve promised a short while back to be a kinder, less vicious person, who doesn’t trash past acquaintances and places of employment…

But well, um, I have a “friend” who recently used to work for a job that had many of these signs (1,3,5 and an less-exaggerated 6). And I can’t help but feel bad for the person (who’s getting #2 in abundance) that replaced me… uhm, I mean my friend.

While it’s understandable why people have a duty to their family to hold jobs down that make them completely miserable… I’ll never understand why they’re not at least looking for a new one.

Remember my theme from last year:
“You can’t be King of the world if you’re Slave to the Grind”.

What jobs have YOU had that fit this criteria, and when did you run screaming from it?

One Nation Under Christ

Today’s Sunday morning sermon is dedicated to to blowing apart the biggest lie and misconception we have going on in the U.S.A. today: America being a Christian Nation

The mouth runneth over again with Jerry Fallwell:

“I don’t believe Mr. Jefferson ever intended for America to become a haven of godless lawmakers who acutely separate themselves from all things Christian.With that in mind, I wish to look back through the annals of history to substantiate the fact that this great nation has historically been involved in religious pursuits and that our government – under the guidance of Thomas Jefferson himself – got wholly involved in the government subsidizing of Christian evangelization and even church building.”

BZZZZT! Wrong again Jerry! Nice attempt at re-writing history, though.

My impression is that Jefferson allocated federal money to help the Kaskaskia Indians in all sorts of endeavors, but Mr. Moral Majority is just focusing on the “building a church” part.

Thomas Jefferson on Christianity:

“One day the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in the United States will tear down the artificial scaffolding of Christianity. And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as His father, in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.”

FACT: Our Founding Fathers were mostly Deists, not Christians.
Theres a big difference.
Continue reading “One Nation Under Christ”

Vatican assault on DaVinci Code

Theologian calls novel insulting ‘sack full of lies’

Nothing spells “desperation and distraction” more than a Vatican assault on a book that’s already been out for two years.

‘This book is a sack full of lies against the Church, against the real history of Christianity and against Christ himself,’ said Bertone, archbishop of northern Genoa.

“REAL history??!!??!?” Does he really wanna go there? The Cathars also believed that Jesus and Mary Magdelene had a thing going on and they were exterminated by the Catholic Church for it in the Middle Ages.

Current history (or should I say scandals) don’t make them look too good either, when you think about it.
Continue reading “Vatican assault on DaVinci Code”

Caring for your pet Chupacabra

I’m bored with cats and dogs and black bears as pets.

So guess what? I bought a Chupacabra on Ebay tonight!!!!

There’s a guy who breeds them in Puerto Rico and ships them. Ever since I saw one on the Venture Brothers, I wanted one… arent they cute?

Now you may ask, where do they originally come from since they’ve only terrorized South America since 1995?Chupacabra

Where all unexplained phenomenon come from, silly…. UFO’s!!!!

This little tyke in the picture isn’t fully grown. He’s only about a foot and a half. They grow to about 3 feet. They need a constant blood, so I figure I’ll let him have the dog & cats to play with (not Puddy though), and when the weather gets warm, he can chase and suck out the innards of deer in the back yard.

And if the kids don’t like him, I’ll just flush him down the toilet like I did the alligator I got them for Christmas.

Meanwhile he needs a name. Any suggestions?

About me finally coming out of the closet

I (being one who refuses to be labeled) have finally given a name to my religion, and it is Deism.

(Wait. What closet did you think I was coming out of? WHOAH!!! I meant “spiritual” closet. I mean, not that there is anything wrong with the other closet, but I mean, you know, really… WHOAH!!!!)

Deism is about relying on reason, not faith.
Faith makes you do stupid things like trying to convert an unsaved lion to Christianity at the zoo, believing God has commissioned you to stalk Mel Gibson, or (my personal favorite) drinking cyanide-laced kool aid/have a standoff with the ATF because your beloved spiritual leader said so.

Continue reading “About me finally coming out of the closet”

The wild & wonderful world of Jack Chick

Don't fear the Reaper
I love Jack Chick, I really do. I find myself addicted to his tracts and his odd reasoning sometimes. He’s a great artist and he captures those unsaved people getting livid over hearing the name “Jesus Christ” like nobody else!

Basically there’s three ways to convert people to Christianity.

  • There’s the tried and true method of capturing and torturing them and their loved ones , until they accept Christ into their heathen lil’ hearts…(made popular during the Crusades and the inquisition)
  • There’s the rarely used tactic of actually practicing Christianity, loving your neighbor and showing acts of kindness to let them know that you are following Jesus’ principles…
  • Then there’s Jack Chick’s method. Put out a comic book that lets you know that a horrifying fate of eternal torment is waiting for you in Hell unless you accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.
  • Basically it boils down to this with the Chick method:
    If you’re a Catholic… you’re going to hell
    If you watch Harry Potter…. you’re going to hell
    If you read any other Bible besides the King James version… you’re going to hell
    If you’re a mormon, freemason, buddhist, muslim… well, three guesses where you’re going? (The first two guesses don’t count).

  • Here is a parody where Jack Chick dies and faces judgment, like so many of the other characters he’s written about. It’s freakin’ hilarious!
  • Here are the rest of Weird Dave’s Chick Parodies… (Warning: Excessive laughter may cause damage to your computer screen if the operator is foolishly drinking a beverage. Be smart, don’t drink and surf parody sites!)
  • Church of the Subgenius steps in with a parody of “Somebody loves me”, in which the abused boy accepts “Bob” as his Lord and Saviour just before dying…
  • Yes, “Hiatus” still means hiatus

    You know what?
    I think WHUZZUPDATE is going to be switched to Plain text email in the next one.

    I just found out my subscribing function has been busted for the last month (you have to confirm, but you can’t confirm if you don’t get the damn confirmation email, can you?). While testing it, the HTML mail automatically registers as “spam”. I send out an html mail “thank you” with the E-Cards…. and don’t have this problem. GAH!!!!!

    So, I send out my latest newsletter, titled “I (heart) my cat, I (spade) my dog“. Basically explaining why my last post has the word “hiatus” in it. Long time CyberPals know that’s a codeword for something.

    Even the plain text emails are ending up in my Yahoo Bulk Mail folder… ARRRRGH!!!!!

    Subscribe to WHUZZUPDATE®
    Subscribe   |
    Unsubscribe

    It’s quite foolproof (well, except for the fact that I can’t make your ISP understand it’s not spam.) If you put in your name and email above, it will tell you on the top of this page if you’re subscribed or not… so if you’re not sure, give it a whirl.

    If you’re sure you ARE subscribed, check your spam filters, or bulk mail folders.

    I’m going to bed….

    Proudly powered by WordPress
    Creative Commons License
    EricBrooks.Com® is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

    Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.


    Connect