Author: Eric Brooks

Web & Graphic Designer, Blogger, Musician, Evil Clown. I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. Approach with food.

Prowess Test

Posted on by Eric Brooks

(I sure hope you’re not reading this at work with your boss looking over your shoulder!) 🙂

Take the quiz: “If we fucked would I like it?”

Meh… you were alright… but I’ve had better
Well… we’d fuck… it would probally be over before it even started… kinky but not too kinky huh? Oh well… we’d fuck… maybe it would happen again if I was really drunk and thats about it… it wasn’t good and it wasnt bad… something to pass the time I guess

Gee like I never heard THAT before! 😛

Hold on, hold on… before you walk away laughing like the time I explained my getting out of a pool with cold water, let me redeem myself by showing the 4 possible results:

* If we fucked… we would never stop fucking (You scored 3)
* Meh… you were alright… but I’ve had better (You scored 4)
* I’d scream, you’d cum, and it would be over (You scored 2)
* I’d look at you and laugh, then walk away (You scored 1)

So maybe I’m not Ron Jeremy, but I was probably *this* close to studhood. I guess she didn’t like the “Police” fantasy as much as I was led to believe. 🙂

Someone more bored than me.

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Totse.Com – My suicide note

I must be jaded or twisted… but the responses on their message board to this guy who just announced he’s committing suicide are hilarious!

For example:

quote:
——————————————————————————–
Originally posted by DannyJ:
Jeff I have some things to say to you which could help you out a lot. E-mail me in complete confidence:
*******@hotmail.com
——————————————————————————–
You posted after he’d already killed himself on purpose just so you would look like a good person but know you wouldn’t have to actually help. Genius.

Oh, the drama…

Bored stupid (as usual)

Posted on by Eric Brooks

God dammit… I am bored out of my mind!!!!
You know… the kind of boredom that makes you want to do stupid stuff like peel your face off with an x-acto blade to see what’s underneath your skin? Or ask some random woman off the streets what it would take to get them to sleep with you (I mean really, like THEY’D have a clue what they want, or they’d ACTUALLY tell you…you know?).

Not that I would ever actually do these things. I figured if I say it with enough enthusiasm, someone may just be dumb to entertain me by trying it. 🙂

It’s usually at this point where I make my own fun.
Something Zeldman used to say on MetaFilter when all us problem adults whined about boredom… “don’t see anything you like on the net? Then MAKE it.”

I have a few ideas, but I want to make it a GROUP effort. Make it OUR thing.
Far away from the prying eyes of boring old grown ups…

Perhaps we can discuss it inside….

Jann Saves Mother’s Day! HOORAY!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Ask and shall be given.

Beg like a pathetic loser (something I’m exceptionally good at), and one of your all-time favorite web artists will come through for you.

Lots of beautiful Mother’s Day E-Cards by Aspirations In Design.
(Of course, I’m always looking for more stuff and more than happy to give credit, gang.)

Send Jann some love for me…what an angel!
THANK YOU!!!!

In her honor, a blast from the past… an Aortal Link (ooh, the nostalgia!):
Beatallica – A generation X’er’s dream come true! And it’s ok, you can LEGALLY download their songs.

Take that, Hotlinkers!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Dear CyberPals,

In case you’re unaware of my policy regarding graphics and content on my site here it is again:

TAKE IT!
HELP YOURSELF!
STEAL IT… IT’S OK, I’LL MAKE MORE SH!T UP!

Seriously. Hell, I’m flattered! I’ll never embarrass anyone with a silly email threatening to sue someone for taking my “Intellectual Property” (*snort* Sorry. can’t say that word without laughing.) For starters, it’s not worth me paying a lawyer $75 to mail a Cease & Desist letter; retaining that same lawyer when you respond back with a big ol’ “F**K You!!!”; to fly him and myself to your own home state pay even MORE court fees to get you in front of a judge for him to simply ask you to “take it down”. It’s not worth it. Besides, the most popular ones like Angel.jpg aren’t even mine to begin with. Just something I liked on the web a few years ago and saved on my server.

Besides, if you knew me in real life, you’d know I’d give you the last $5 in my pocket if I knew you needed it.

SAVE IT ON YOUR OWN SERVER!
The only thing I do ask is that you put it up on your server instead of hotlinking off of my site. This website explains Bandwidth Theft better than I can, since some people obviously skipped the class on “Netiquette” when they signed on to the internets.
Continue reading “Take that, Hotlinkers!”

New SoApBoX rants and news & gossip

Posted on by Eric Brooks

To Celebrate May Day… I offer the latest rant:
Nice guys (and girls) finish last at work too.

A great tutorial on Making iTunes (and other fancy) buttons for all the graphic artists in the house.

A site worth checking out: Our own lil’ Yankee Dyke has set up her own message board for us all to hang out. Check it out, and give her a hand getting the ball rolling.

Anyone have any good Mother’s Day ideas?

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Mother’s Day is next Sunday and all I got in one lousy graphic in my Mother’s Day E-Cards section. That’s terrible.

If anyone can point me out (or better yet make) some nice 400 px wide graphics for Mother’s day e-Cards it would be most appreciated.

I’m short on cash this week, but I can put you in on that page in the acknowledgments sections.

Thanks, and may the Force be with you.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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