My goodness…
How can I forget my traditional coverage of today’s NASCAR event?
That is all….
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My goodness…
How can I forget my traditional coverage of today’s NASCAR event?
That is all….
It appears I have once again misjudged the American public and they have some sense of musical taste after all.
Congratulations, Fantasia!!!!
Continue reading “wow”
I think I’m gonna break ranks for once and talk about something everyone else is talking about… American Idol.
I gotta admit, after hearing some of the most awesome performers this year, I got hooked. Normally I loathe these “Star Search”-like shows.
Continue reading “Fantasia or Diana?”
Holee %$@#!
You ever have a day where, like, EVERYTHING is going wrong? One of those black-cat-follows-you-under-a-ladder-with a broken-mirror kind of day?
My day starts at 3AM (because I haven’t slept since, well, March.) with me accidentally spamming the shit out of friends and loved ones (and my landlords and in-laws too) while testing this new mailing list script I whipped up.
So what EXACTLY do you do after something like that…
…write out a mass email apologizing for the mass emails?
Then I get to work and my computers are crashing for one reason or another…
This Wednesday was supposed to be the Pennsylvania Music awards at the Mt. Laurel Arts Center but that all fell apart, didn’t it?
I’ve been HAVING this recurring nightmare (while I’m awake, because I haven’t slept since March, remember?) that only two people showed up for the awards…
Me and William Hung.
Since he was the only one who showed up, he won everything and I had to deal with him singing for two straight hours.
I don’t even WANT that dream analyzed.
Anyone else HAVING a shitty day?
EricBrooks.Com® – A little known fact is that Murphy’s Law wasn’t actually written by Murphy, but by some other guy with the same last name.
“You might beg for mercy to get by
But I’d rather tear this thorn FROM my side
‘Cuz I won’t be the one left behind
You can’t be King of the World if you’re Slave to the Grind
Tear down that rat racial slime
You can’t be King of the World if you’re Slave to the Grind”
– Slave to the Grind –
If there truly is a “soundtrack of your life”, I hope tracks FROM Skid Row’s Slave to the Grind is part of mine when the movie about me comes out. It’s the definition of me and my philosophy in musical form.
What a shame that the last best album came out in 1991. Then “Grunge” came along and fucked everything up.
During the Enemy of the State Years:
“So you think you cut me down to size…
But there’s something you should realize…
It’s gonna take more than a break in the law…
To make me smile pretty for the wrecking ball
Wont beg, won’t bleed…
Once you’ve made your mark you’ve made a threat to society.”
– The Threat –
Anyway, there’s the story and why I had to seek this album out again (The version with explicit lyrics, of course… fuck you, Tipper!).
But due to legal and contractual reasons I can’t talk about it (of course).
But yeah… I am not a happy camper right now.
For over a week now I’ve had people congratulating me, only to apologize in complete embarrassment when they find out the truth and see the hurt in my face.
One more person asking me “when am I moving up, or is someone else filling in my boss’ position?” and I’m gonna FUCKING SCREAM.
The fact is, I was screwed… and good. Someone else took all the credit for our hard work and left me in a fucked up position where I have to prove myself to see if I can fill my boss’ shoes.
I always saw the success as a 50/50 deal. And I’m being REAL generous here.
To put someone else above me would mean I have to “train my own boss”.
Kiss my fucking ass.
Of course I examine every situation before acting, so here are the advantages…
I waited a week to see if there were any plans for me here… obviously there aren’t. If the plan is “see what it takes to make Eric find a new job”, then I’d say it’s going swell.
So I can either dwell on how “screwed” and “insulted” I am right now, or do my patented “turn this all INTO an advantage” and write my own ticket. I don’t particularly understand the “corporate mentality”…
… but I am a seriously underrated actor. :0) If I can pierce the mentality of the Über-goobers out here, I can certainly play the role of a “suit”.
Excuse me, I have to go “prooooove myself” now.
*spits on floor* Ba Fongul!
One “corporate guy” coming up!
(Yeah I know this is being read… that’s why I haven’t mentioned the part about my jumping ship and to whom yet.) :0)
EricBrooks.Com® – Where “guys in suits” are just below “guys with badges” on my list of “people I don’t trust”.
WOOOO WEE!!!!!
Yep, it’s time to party… Cinco de Mayo is here!!!!
Commemorating when the outgunned and outnumbered Mexicans kicked Napoleon the Turd’s Imperialistic ass on May 5th, 1862.
Like St. Patrick’s day, it’s now a day where we all kick back and drink ourselves INTO a stupor.
Looking at other news…
What’s this? The Iraqis think it’s Halloween!??!
You silly Iraqis!!!! Oh hoh!!! Look at this guy…. “LOOKIE! I’m Batman… WOOOO.
You guys…
Anyway you can see the Iraqis and Americans whooping it up for Cinco de Mayo Halloween at The Memory Hole.
See? Saddam is no longer around to torture and humiliate you guys any more…
Aren’t you glad we came?
Hey… what’s the Geneva Convention mean among friends, anyway?

By PETER GOESINYA
AP Sportswriter
STONECREST, PA (AP) – Well kids, enjoy that basket you just got and try and make that candy last for a good, long time.
Two hunters, identified only as “Jerry and Bob”, called the Guinness Book of World Records yesterday to let them know that they just “bagged the biggest f**king rabbit we’ve ever seen”.
The Guinness people realized immediately what happened and notified the police.
The victim was identified as Peter J. Cottontail (672 C.E. – 2004 C.E.), a large supernatural rabbit/human hybrid known and loved by children the world over as “The Easter Bunny”. Cottontail was pronounced dead on the scene FROM shotgun wounds to his chest and abdomen.
Police have held the two hunters on charges of man(-rabbit hybrid)slaughter, hunting without a license, hunting out of season, criminal tresspassing, and “typical redneck stupidity”.
Police report that these two men were arrested back in January, 2000, when they locked their friend up in a Y2K Shelter for nearly two weeks and led him to believe the world was destroyed.
Charges were never filed when it was discovered by a court-appointed psychiatrist that the men had an I.Q. of 85…
…combined.
Anyone in the Pennsylvania area that has Blue Ridge Cable saw something interesting on the news tonight.
Are you gonna believe the media, or are you gonna believe me?
Good!
My friends work maintenance at Mountain Laurel Center for the Performing Arts. A lot has changed since the glorious summer opening featuring Tom Ridge and the Philharmonic. I’m not too terribly comfortable talking about it, I’ve discussed it in my newsletter over the summer…
… but well, let’s just say “The Fat Lady is about to sing” over there, ok?
So Blue Ridge’s news crew was there (and denied access), my friends are moving computers, spot the cameras and their high-powered microphones, and One says out loud: “Do you want to bring these computers were stealing to your house or mine?”
Of course it’s been aired in its entirety. Sound and all. (*SNORT*)
Our phones have been ringing off the hook all day.
No charges have been filed on the two burglars yet. :0)
Rather than pull for local support, they gambled on the New York, New Jersey, Philly crowd to pay New York prices to go to a place in the middle of nowhere.
Ask Lambchop what it was like trying to find my house last Spring. Mt. Laurel is the complex just before that, down the road. Tell me, ANYONE unfamiliar with the area will ever find the place? Duh.
Bill Watson offers a hilarious overview of “Mt. Laurel Center for Old Farts” in the latest EPCN. It offers a lot of of helpful ideas for Season two… and I hope SOMEONE is listening.
…I’m talking about those who aren’t going to jail, of course.
If you’re one of those “Charity begins at home”-types that prefer to help an American in need, well here’s your chance:
While bouncing through Michele’s comments, I stumbled onto Gary Farber and his site. This gentleman is trying to raise money to keep FROM being evicted. He’s been down on his luck, out of work, and has a matter of days to make rent. More details on his site. I thought I’d spread the word.
Jon reports The Reasons for Christmas Project is still selling, go figure! A sale FROM Italy just came through the website today.
While continuing my segways in this post… I sent your copies of the CD out today. Better late than never?
Oh man… another season flying by this year. It seems like only yesterday that the Christmas Season started in September… where does the time go?
I’m going to try and squeeze a newsletter out before Christmas… but no promises.
Free Hannukah and Christmas E-Cards here… I’ll probably be making them Flash next year.
Photos FROM Dec 11th’s Reasons for Christmas live show are up on their site. I have to add a new review FROM the L.A. Times and I believe we’re going to wrap it up over there for now. Plans are being made for it next year to not only raise money for Pocono Area Transitional Housing… but it will be re-packaged with a new INSERT and raise money for a Pentagon Memorial for the victims of Sept. 11th.
A few people have asked here how well the sales went. I know the goal was to raise $300,000. I have no idea how close they got, but I know some major companies kicked in FROM the community:
For those who have been too polite to ask where the copy of Reasons for Christmas that you won back in November. Please don’t take it out on your mailman… the embarrassing truth is, I haven’t been able to mail them out yet. I’m really sorry, and your gift will be coming to you later than expected.
Which brings me to the rest of the post…
I need to take up something with someone privately, so I ask that unless you’re a jolly dude dressed in red, or one of his helpers this is the end of the line for you guys. (Which I realize is a dumb thing to say considering I’m asking for privacy on a web page… but it’s something I need to get off my chest and will probably DELETE afterwards or I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.)
Continue reading “Reasons for Christmas, FREE Hanukkah & XMas E-Cards… and STILL no damn newsletter.”
Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.