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Life in the Poconos
Dear E,
Is Santa a gay man?? Little elves all around, no kids, likes SHOW tunes, and dresses funny??
fer gawd’s sake (in anticipation of internet gay fall out) IT’S A JOKE. Me and mr. joe , the heterosexual couple of the year probably have more gay friends than straight. It’s a flippin joke , kids
Tina
As part of the “Winter Edition” redesign…
Which was interrupted by a Christmas Party, a house inspection, removing a tree that fell on my house (you think I’m making this shit up?), and 2/3rd of the way through reading “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” (started this morning and couldn’t put it down. Hey… stop looking so surprised I can read, ok?) and then a print job for a slave driver (she stopped paying me in sex since my last post. hope you’re all happy. I was informed that as long as her site reads “coming soon”, so will I….
I’m thinking of adding that totally retarded meme “100 things about me”.
Continue reading “100 things”
Dear -e-:
I am so disenchanted this year. Between Emin3m and Britney Spears, I swear I need to blow up a building to get attention these days.
I’ve had it. I’m packing it in.
It’s as though I’m all about selling merchandise for Mattel. Half the clowns out there don’t even look like me… what are they thinking? Do I get royalties???? NOOOOooooooo…. But it’s all about the almighty dollar, right? COUNT ME OUT!
Kris K.
North Pole
Christ on a cracker… here we go again.
Kris… babe….
Is it me, or do you pull this crap EVERY year? Some celebrity out there is the talk of kids everywhere, and you think they’ve forgotten all about you.
Continue reading “In the words of Dan Quayle: 'I Quite!'”
When a person starts deleting comments and sites in an effort to cover their tracks, and refers to friends of mine as crazy people… it’s time to bring the curtain down.
Lisa Unmasked…. on the next: A N A R C H T I C A!
*****ADDENDUM ********
Actually, upon further conferencing with said accused “Crazy Woman”, I have decided that I will resume discussing this (and all the evidence) to people privately. This is an Attention Trollâ„¢ with serious psychiatric problems, and we’ve decided not to share the monstrous amounts of hits we’re all enjoying since the Chris Powers scandal broke out.
Feel free to email me with what I’ve got.
Don’t know my email? Then I probably don’t know you….
Life’s a bitch, Candi.
And even though I’m a dood (with a rather impressive dongle)… so am I. 😀
What the hell is your Birthday, anyway? Register at my “Birthday alarm” account. (Leave the link to yours in my comments)
I re-found this at Judez’ place.
I say “re-found” because Maria mailed it to me, and like a dumbass, I lost it before replying.
Of course, at 37, I find birthdays about as exciting as HAVING a colonoscopy and root canal being done simultaneously… but that’s not the point. :0)
****** ADDED LATER **********************
Heh heh… further proof that a even broken watch is right once in a while…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KD!!!!! *SMOOCH!*
(It’s a bit of a hack job… but I made this for her last year for her online surprise party.)
****** BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE************
It also turns out that Mr. Fish Innards (aka “Mr. Skarlet”) turns 35 today!
Happy Birthday, good sir.
….and my, what a great first name you have there. :0)
That’s right… even a broken watch is right TWICE a day!
We’re all watching the Christmas Tree lighting on TV at this moment, waiting for my son’s godmother’s son to perform (He’s staying at his mom’s house in Maspeth this week… I’ll sell any Brian Setzer fans her phone number for the low, low price of $50 each. Sure I’ll hear about it later FROM my in-laws, but hey… a buck is a buck.)
Moreso, we just saw on tv that the tree is FROM our own Mr. Rizzo…
Quite the mogul here in Anarchtica, owner of our community, partner in Tom Ridge’s parting legacy for Pennsylfuckingtucky: The Mountain Laurel Arts Center, and unveiling plans for an even bigger community.
Imagine the effects of some power-hungry despot forming an unholy alliance, in my quest to make Anarchtica the SIXTH borough of New York City?
Just a polite reminder to the gentile citizens of CyberTown…
I AM EVERYWHERE YOU, FUCKERS!!!!!
THERE IS NO ESCAPING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (and my connections)!!!!!!!
Thanks for your time. :0)
At first, I jolted out of bed. Thinking this was all a bad dream, and I was safe at home in Brooklyn….
But then I realized this was even better:
IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF HUNTING SEASON!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!
That’s right… here in Pennsylfuckingtucky, it is the time honored traditional holiday of “Buck”. Sure kids have to go to school on Veteran’s Day, or when there’s 22 feet of snow on the ground, but all schools, and most municipal facilities are closed today, so kids can enjoy themselves by going out with their dads and busting a cap in a deer’s ass!
Continue reading “I love waking up to the sound of gunshots in the morning!”
Jeesus!!!??!!??
When the heck does a cyberworld, work, and personal life hit all in one spot to anyone else?
From Today’s Pocono Record:
Jeff Huffert of CB Gifts was up almost all night making fresh treats for the sale. His booth featured hand-made colored white chocolate pops, boxed sets and centerpieces shaped as Santa’s sled, all edible.
JEEEZ!
As you know, Jeff was here for thankgiving. Also crashed here this weekend. I feel sorry for the poor bloke…
He’s currently employed by a SLAVE DRIVER who made him work all friday night to make chocolate pops and chocolate Christmas houses.
I know his boss all too well. Rumor has it that she’s paying her graphic designer with sexual favors to build her a website… not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;0)
…. but we had a nice cozy fire going in the fireplace all day, so we really didn’t give a damn. :0)
Of course, even Anarchtica had a Norman Rockwell-esque setting to it, as a snowstorm closed all the schools down on Wednesday. If I recall, someone was wishing for a “White Thanksgiving”, so for those who didn’t, I offer you this… and sincerely hope none of you are taking it as rubbing it in (though it’s SO obvious I am).
“Turkey with the Demon ’02” was a smashing success due to the Mrs’ culinary skills and all our wonderful guests: Which included entertainer Johnny Kai (who was thrilled to hear the news from another fellow Hawaiian that the waves in his home island of Oahu is enjoying 8-12 foot waves); our friend, Jeff dropped in with his mom and sister… and a bunch of neighbors stopped by for coffee & dessert…
… and of *COURSE* there was TWO pecan pies among all the other cakes!
Now I ask you fair citizens of Cybertown… how cool is this?
I was just contacted by a Communications major at a nearby college who wants to know if he can interview me as part of his finals. I figure, the interview, show them the huge server room w/ the T1’s and the advanced AP hookups, all our proprietary scripting, the new toys (where the hell is my third computer???)… show the kid there is waaaay more to webdesign than just HTML.
Between last weeks awards, and now this interview, my neck hurts from trying to keep my head balanced on it. :0)
Just a great feeling when you live in a world where so many people can just drop off the face of the earth and no one will notice… little things like this come along to remind you that you’re one of the people who count.
Ooh… that came off as terribly elitist, didn’t it? I’m really sorry about that.
No I’m not. :0)
***SNARF!!!!***
Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.
