Author: Eric Brooks

Web & Graphic Designer, Blogger, Musician, Evil Clown. I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. Approach with food.

So am I the only person who thought Star Wars III sucked?

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I could care less about giving away spoilers. Most Star Wars fans are already up to seeing the movie a third & fourth time at this point.

Once was enough for me.
Sure, I’ll give credit where credit is due; The action in this movie topped all five of the other movies combined. I took great pleasure in watching the annoying and self-righteous Jedi get annihilated (and I’ll tell you why in a minute)… but the shitty dialogue and the way the movie ended makes me want to get my money back from George Lucas the way the South Park kids went after Mel Gibson.
Continue reading “So am I the only person who thought Star Wars III sucked?”

My Gerbil is Hitler!

Posted on by Eric Brooks
“As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.”
– Godwin’s Law –

First there was the “Bush = Hitler” protest signs, long before that was the clever knickname for Senator Clinton (“Hitlery”), and now everyone from Pat Robertson to Sen. Santorum is comparing the fillibustering Democrats to the Nazis…

Like Anton LaVey says in his books, “Simply put: Good is what you like. Evil is what you don’t like”.

Everyone is Hitler these days. That teacher who gave your child detention is Hitler, those spammers putting comments in your blog is Hitler… hell, that little bastard paperboy who keeps tossing your newspaper in puddles has GOT to be Hitler, right? Who else would do such a thing?

You’re all wrong.

You know who IS Hitler?
My gerbil. I have proof.

Sure. Look at him innocently running on his wheel, nibbling on his water bottle. I know he’s secretly plotting world domination and exterminating 55 million people.

You aren’t fooling anyone, fucker.

Hooray for Sexy Cheerleading !!!!!

Posted on by Eric Brooks
A Houston Texans cheerleader dances during the Texans' Week 8 game against the Jacksonville Jaguars.

A Houston Texans cheerleader dances during the Texans’ Week 8 game against the Jacksonville Jaguars.
(Robert Laberge/Getty Images)

“Sexy cheerleading bill” appears dead in Texas
Senate says it’s not likely to take action on legislation this year

WOOOO HOOO!!!! What a wonderful time to be a man and a sports fan!!!
(OK, well I don’t watch too many sports… but I know this is an important part of it!)

Have you ever SEEN some of the women that scream “Exploitation”?

Woof! Woof!

You will never see a beautiful woman picketing against bathing suit competitions or cheerleading. They know it’s all part of the power and allure that these women hold over men.

The feminists that want it stopped… you really don’t want to see them in a string bikini. Trust me.
Continue reading “Hooray for Sexy Cheerleading !!!!!”

Prowess Test

Posted on by Eric Brooks

(I sure hope you’re not reading this at work with your boss looking over your shoulder!) 🙂

Take the quiz: “If we fucked would I like it?”

Meh… you were alright… but I’ve had better
Well… we’d fuck… it would probally be over before it even started… kinky but not too kinky huh? Oh well… we’d fuck… maybe it would happen again if I was really drunk and thats about it… it wasn’t good and it wasnt bad… something to pass the time I guess

Gee like I never heard THAT before! 😛

Hold on, hold on… before you walk away laughing like the time I explained my getting out of a pool with cold water, let me redeem myself by showing the 4 possible results:

* If we fucked… we would never stop fucking (You scored 3)
* Meh… you were alright… but I’ve had better (You scored 4)
* I’d scream, you’d cum, and it would be over (You scored 2)
* I’d look at you and laugh, then walk away (You scored 1)

So maybe I’m not Ron Jeremy, but I was probably *this* close to studhood. I guess she didn’t like the “Police” fantasy as much as I was led to believe. 🙂

Someone more bored than me.

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Totse.Com – My suicide note

I must be jaded or twisted… but the responses on their message board to this guy who just announced he’s committing suicide are hilarious!

For example:

quote:
——————————————————————————–
Originally posted by DannyJ:
Jeff I have some things to say to you which could help you out a lot. E-mail me in complete confidence:
*******@hotmail.com
——————————————————————————–
You posted after he’d already killed himself on purpose just so you would look like a good person but know you wouldn’t have to actually help. Genius.

Oh, the drama…

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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