Political Cannon Fodder Archives - Page 10 of 12

Peace sells (but who’s buying?)

Posted on Friday January 31, 2003Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Fuck it. I’m getting serious here. Political too.

One thing my sensei always said:
“Only a fool picks and chooses his own enemies“.

You see, if you invade my land, looking to destroy my home, and hurt my family…
I’m willing to die to make sure I’m the last thing some of you will ever see.

If you’re languishing in an Iraqui prison, your testicles being electrocuted, your wife/mother/sister being raped, and your children being tortured in front of you; just before your eyes are gouged out…

I could really care less.
Hey, I’m just being honest here. I’m fucked up like that.
Continue reading “Peace sells (but who’s buying?)”

Help Wanted: Straight man for comedy routines

Posted on Saturday November 30, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

… well the ‘straight man’ can be gay, too. Just don’t look for me to share the same hotel room when we go on tour. (I’m homophobic on Tuesdays and Saturdays… rest of the week, I’m okay up until the third ‘Racist Friday’ of the month…. then there’s the half hour of ‘religious piety’ and 15.2 seconds of ‘political correctness’ each second month…)

Inspired by Cootie’s Ready Made Punchlines, and I figure if I add a few of my “starters”, maybe someone can come in, whip up a middle part and make some decent jokes…
Continue reading “Help Wanted: Straight man for comedy routines”

Windows are a Paine in the glass

Posted on Wednesday November 6, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

I set out to see is Thomas Jefferson was the only founding father people seem to get… so I get *this* looney toon:

Which Founding Father Are You?

OH, COME ON NOW!!!! This is why I don’t take these stoopid tests. They are *so* innacurate. I am nothing like this guy!!!!

Did he own slaves too?

“Whaadya mean I’m funny? What am I… a fucking clown here to amuse you????”
– Joe Pesci, Goodfellas –

(Via Batgrll and Llee, who got it from Michelle)

The people have spoken are schmucks

Posted on Tuesday November 5, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Well, more or less… the Associated Press has projected Ed Rendell the new Governor of Pennsylfuckingtucky.

I wonder how much hate mail I’ll get if I keep referring to him as “That big goofy Jew in Harrisburg”? :0)

Truth be told, if it were anyone else besides Mike Fisher running against him, I would have voted for him too. This State, in my opinion, is TOO fucking Republican… a scary kind of totalitarian Republican…

…and this comes from a lifelong Republican.
Hell, the Taliban wouldn’t even move here.
Continue reading “The people ~~have spoken~~ are schmucks”

Vote them ALL out

Posted on Tuesday November 5, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

“Are you better off now than you were four years ago?”
– Ronald Reagan, 1980 –

That was a powerful question. One that put the Governor of California in the White House for eight years…

I have asked myself that same question every year since then.

This year, the answer is a loud, primal screaming “HELL NO”.

Today, the people will have the power to send hundreds of lying, corrupt, inept, and lazy politicians straight to the employment line. Crushing their dreams of further aspirations up the political ladder.

They’ve lied to you. They’ve betrayed you. They’ve sold you out for their own interests.

They will send your sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren to die to support their fatcat lifestyle.

They’re not a part of the solution… they’re part of the problem.

Will you be better off when their next term ends than you are right now?

You decide tomorrow.
Vote… while you still have the privilege.

Mike Fisher for Governor

Posted on Saturday November 2, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Why am I standing behind Mike Fisher for Governor?

Because as PA Attorney General, Mike Fisher got the job done. He’ll do the same as Governor of PA.

Consider all of the New Yorkers who moved here… and was SWINDLED by the various builder scams like Y-Rent. When certain unnamed politicians (*cough*the district attorney*cough*) basically laughed at New Yorkers… and then jumped on the bandwagon when they saw a popular movement going on….
Fisher was ready to take action all along.

Solid plan on Education taxes – If you have lived in the Poconos for any extended period of time, you are KILLED WITH PROPERTY TAXES. Get a Democrat in Harrisburg right now, and taxes will go through the roof. While Mike Fisher, honestly “wont rule it out any options”, he has offered some solid alternatives to fund public education which now currently are derived MAINLY from property taxes.

Unlike the “charasmatic and well-funded” Rendell, Mike Fisher is not a “professional politician”. He sees action needs to be taken, and he does it. His track record as PA Attorney General says it all.

And most importantly…

When my wife was swindled and bought a bad business. It brought on a hellstorm of fines, potential lawsuits, and a lot of shafted customers by the previous owner of the company….When the popular thing to do was to drag my wife through court case after court case, fines, penalties, incarceration before trials, and LIVING HELL (mostly due to the incompetence and ignorance of the Monroe County District Attorney’s office.) only to have the cases closed because she wasn’t the one responsible for all of the deposits taken, and jobs not finished…PA Attorney General Mike Fisher worked with her. He read each and every complaint, went through all of our legal documents, sifted through the case with a fine tooth comb to see who was the REAL CRIMINAL responsible in all of these cases….

This paved the way for New Jersey homeowners to sue the person responsible. New Jersey saw justice done… while PA will remain conned and shafted, thanks to our MORONIC local government and District Attorney.

Time for a change in Pennsylvania.
As far my family is concerned, we owe Mike Fisher a large debt of gratitude.
And WE’RE voting for him for Governor.

Let the voting begin!!!!

Posted on Friday November 1, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

WOO HOO!!!
GO KELLY LEWIS!!!!!
(Alright, I’m allowing ONE incumbent to stay in office… shut up.)

…. uh oh.

Pretty funny.
Due to some kind of a glitch, Eastern Poconos Community News doesn’t seem to be on the racks today, yet they have their website updated. I wonder how that was possible???

*Kisses his new macro program when no one is looking. Hee hee*

Saddam, the poopie-head!

Posted on Friday October 25, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Well, while you guys are all sitting here reading about Liz and why you should stick frostbitten parts in COLD water NOT hot. (Damn, Liz…!).

Mike (aka Cooties) has been offering quite a well thought-out counterpoint to the impending Iraqi invasion… pulling up news links from Google about Bosnian/Yugoslavian arms dealers selling him some prime weapons of mass destruction.

Saddam, that is. Not Mike. I meant to write *Saddam* is getting these weapons. (I’m not sure why, but I feel we can *TRUST* the Brown family with a nuclear missle in their back yard. Just a gut feeling.)
Continue reading “Saddam, the poopie-head!”

Hail the beginnings of ANARCHTICA

Posted on Monday October 21, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

We interrupt all this lighthearted fun, ‘cuz I can’t keep my mouth shut about this any longer.

“Despite threats from England and France, Hitler continued his preparations for the invasion of Poland. By April 3, 1939, he instructed his generals to set the date for the Polish invasion for September 1. Once again, Hitler targeted a struggling democracy as his next victim. ”
– Invasion of Poland –

Gee.
Replace “Poland” with “Iraq”…
Replace “England and France” with “Saudi Arabia and Egypt”…
Do you see any parallels with what’s going on today?

Why, that would make Hitler…. ?
GASP!

Lee put out some excellent links today, particularly Michael Moore’s list of Democrats who voted in the recent resolution to invade Iraq. He suggests voting their sorry asses out. (Ted Kennedy voted “No”. Hmmmm… I may learn to respect this man one day.)

According to every poll I’ve seen, the American public favors this invasion by at LEAST 63%… yet I have yet to meet ONE of them. Why is that?

What ever happened to “Of the people. By the people. For the people.…?”
kd answers that when she linked to the EFF Co-Founder’s rant:
“The American Republic is Dead. Hail the American Empire.”

Perhaps I would feel better about this invasion if our beloved Fuhr… uhm President would share with us (aka “The People”) why Iraq poses such a threat to us, eleven years after we kicked their asses all up and down the Persian Gulf????

“If I am to build unity among the people, I must first find a new front, a common enemy so that everyone knows: We must be united, because this enemy is the enemy of us all. If we are not united, the entire German people will sink into the abyss.”
– Adolf Hitler’s Speech at the 1927 Nuremberg Rally –

Now Muslims are “the common enemy”, just as the Jews were for Nazi Germany.

Fortunately, we haven’t reached the point of throwing people in camps. Oh.

Oh, well… not to worry. If we get out of hand we can be tried for War Crimes, right? Oopsie.

Scary shit, ain’t it?

Oh… there will be more about this….. I just need to catch my breath.

Power and Stupidity…

Posted on Wednesday October 9, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Yes… it is 4:45, and I’m about to go to sleep. (again)

I redid the door and window for poser, and I’ll send them out to everyone who asked tomorrow (or the next day, or…).

It was brought to my attention what I have known all along:
I am a moron.

See the “Subscribe for updates” box on the right? I was getting a complex because no one has signed up recently… fact is the damn thing hasn’t been working since the jump to undisturbed.org.

It works know…
If you signed up before, and haven’t had an update mailed to you in months… well, I lost your address during the move.

Why? Like I said, I’m a moron.

Well, no major news here… well it is major to me.
I registered to vote on the day of the deadline.

It will work like this… if you are an incumbent. I vote you out.
Simple as that.
I suddenly feel some sense of empowerment here. :0)

I think everyone who thinks that it all sucks, should just vote ’em all out and let fresh blood take over… I mean, how much worse can it get? Especially all of the local ones… *THEY’RE* the ones who effect your daily life more than a president or senator.

I know what you’re thinking… “e, that’s horrible…. putting people out of work like that, because you’re disenchanted with society????”

Folks… they’re not “people” okay? They’re politicians. It’s all showbiz. They’ll rape their own mothers and put it on videotape if it means getting your votes. They’re the lowest species on earth. Just below slugs, algae, and casting directors.

Do yourself a favor and boot them all out.
I’m looking forward to having an ex-judge ask me:
“Would you like fries with that, sir?”

hee hee!

WHUZZUP!

Category: Political Cannon Fodder