I pray nightly for your death

You know, moron…
You don’t really think things through, do you?

If I’m this irritating and obnoxious while I’m alive, what do you think I’ll be like as a ghost haunting your silly ass for a long, boring eternity?

You’ll never want to take your clothes off or be alone in a dark room EVER AGAIN.

Be careful what you wish for, cupcake. *EvilGrin* 😀

Anyone want a chupacabra? CHEAP?

Ernie the ChupacabraRemember Ernie, my chupacabra?

Maybe I’m paranoid, but I think he’s trying to kill me. A few cats have vanished, and when I ask him he looks at me with his cute widdle glowing red eyes and tries to look innocent.

But I know it’s that little bastard.
And I think I’m next on his list.

I just think he needs a home where he’s loved and understood, so if anyone wants him, please drop me a line. The shelters wont take him because he is not a cat or dog. And don’t worry, he was just neutered (which is part of why I suspect he is trying to kill me.).

Serious inquiries only.

Erox is Dead! Long Live Erox!

I’m better now. 🙂

It seems for a while I was lost, and couldn’t see the bigger picture (I hate when I do that).

I needed a good flow of negative energy to respark my need and will to survive.

Yes. I need my hate and rage and pain. It’s what keeps me feeling for others. I need my chaos and mayhem to appreciate order. I need to see the world through the eyes of a child to tap into the magic and wonder that we seem to lose over the years. No matter how absurd it appears on the surface… I need to believe, and listen to that still, small voice inside me as my guide.

I need to believe and set my course to the largest star and follow it.

And that star is leading me the hell out where I currently live.
All I needed was a chance….

(Special thanks to ~T~, MissD, Bob, Jeanna and Lee for helping me find my way back…)

The Last Pope?

The Last Pope: Examining Nostradamus and Malachy (No. 288)

I’ve been hearing a lot of rumors about old prophecies since Pope John Paul II’s death about him being the last Pope and Christianity fizzling out by the end of the 20th Century. Actually according to this book, and this conspiracy site, he is the next-to-last Pope. The link above interests me more, as Nostradamus predicts there would be five Popes after the controversial Pius XII. (JP2 was the fourth Pope after him)
Continue reading “The Last Pope?”

Caring for your pet Chupacabra

I’m bored with cats and dogs and black bears as pets.

So guess what? I bought a Chupacabra on Ebay tonight!!!!

There’s a guy who breeds them in Puerto Rico and ships them. Ever since I saw one on the Venture Brothers, I wanted one… arent they cute?

Now you may ask, where do they originally come from since they’ve only terrorized South America since 1995?Chupacabra

Where all unexplained phenomenon come from, silly…. UFO’s!!!!

This little tyke in the picture isn’t fully grown. He’s only about a foot and a half. They grow to about 3 feet. They need a constant blood, so I figure I’ll let him have the dog & cats to play with (not Puddy though), and when the weather gets warm, he can chase and suck out the innards of deer in the back yard.

And if the kids don’t like him, I’ll just flush him down the toilet like I did the alligator I got them for Christmas.

Meanwhile he needs a name. Any suggestions?

Yo bitch!!! Get off me!

I shared this with my new pal , Pandora, the other night and just did some interesting research.

Tell me if this ever happened to you:

About a year or two ago, I woke up to find a very old and VERY HEAVY woman on top of me (Blotchy bloated skin. Think of that body they pulled out of the lake in “Silence of the Lambs”).

I was pinned down, couldn’t breathe, and she began humming this eerie tune in my ear.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream. I was paralyzed and suffocating.
Then she vanished and I never went back to sleep.

Of course I never wrote that down, because I was afraid I’d be committed.

Guess what? I’m not alone. It’s actually a condition known as “Old Hag Syndrome” or “Sleep Paralysis”.
Continue reading “Yo bitch!!! Get off me!”

Succubus Dating Service

SuccubusLonely?
Wife send you to the couch again?
Can’t afford a hooker?

Here’s a nifty little spell to summon a Succubus. For those not familiar with them, they’re the female version of the Incubus… nasty little demons that have sex with you while you sleep.

The bad news is Incubi outnumber Succubi 9 to 1.
Figures, right guys? Even in the Underworld you find yourself on a waiting list.

I bounced off a post in the Pocono Forums about ghosts to read about The Brown Lady of Rainham Hall. After that scared the crap out of me, I bounced to all sorts of supernatural phenomenon, Poltergeists to Banshees and finally to the Succubus.

Now, I’m open to the concept of some wild stuff…. but I think Incubi and Succubi are the products of someone’s wishful thinking in the Middle Ages. At an age of sexual repression where just about everything was a “no-no”, how convenient for these horny little demons to show up and cause unexplained pregnancies with unmarried women and sticky sheets for monks?

Even more hilarious is this site: Succubus Hunter.
Continue reading “Succubus Dating Service”

What’s coming up in 1984… uhm, I mean 2004

My stats are ridiculously low… at least here on WHUZZUP. I hear that same complaint on a lot of blogs I visit too. Like people went off on summer vacation, and never came back. (Most likely it’s “Supply and Demand”. I couldn’t *possibly* visit every site I link to in one sitting. And I’m sure I’ve pissed off everyone at this point to insure I’m not a “must read” anywhere.)

Elsewhere, my stats dictate it’s painfully obvious that the people want escapism and entertainment.

You may think I’m out of my mind for saying this… but I’m relieved.
This takes the pressure off of me HAVING to write here constantly. I have way better things to do, like unroll a 2004 redesign (or three with a “skinning option”), make much-needed repairs on my fonts, free stuff, and e-cards sections… bring back the “The Guestbook FROM Hell”.

And most of all, not have to discuss politics. I hate talking politics.
It turns people off as much as my flame wars did.

2004 Predictions: If you thought blogland was ugly with the Iraq war… you ain’t seen nothing yet. The Presidential race will be the nastiest viper pit of mudslinging, and emotionally immature and ignorant turdfest imaginable, and the web will definitely be one of the frontlines.

As much as I’d love to slam back at all of the “bad asses” who are just beginning to be aware of world events, and are suddenly “experts”… I’d rather leave that to the pros.
Continue reading “What’s coming up in 1984… uhm, I mean 2004”

Proudly powered by WordPress
Creative Commons License
EricBrooks.Com® is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.


Connect