WHUZZUP!

Why can’t women leave the damn toilet seat up?

Posted on Thursday November 14, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Sorry… no earth-shattering events so far.
Just came home to zonk for a few hours… it’s hard to even have an erotic dream when half your face is swollen up like a damn chipmunk again. So please come back to this site when I have accomplished something remotely interesting or mischevious…

In the meantime, perhaps the gentlemen here (all four of you) would like to help a lady out.

Tess is running a Man Questionnaire on her site. Perfectly confidential. She’s trying to gain some insights as to why we are such stubborn pains in the asses that would rather circle the earth than stop for directions.
Continue reading “Why can’t women leave the damn toilet seat up?”

Eric Brooks

… is the best revenge

Posted on Wednesday November 13, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Now I ask you fair citizens of Cybertown… how cool is this?

I was just contacted by a Communications major at a nearby college who wants to know if he can interview me as part of his finals. I figure, the interview, show them the huge server room w/ the T1’s and the advanced AP hookups, all our proprietary scripting, the new toys (where the hell is my third computer???)… show the kid there is waaaay more to webdesign than just HTML.

Between last weeks awards, and now this interview, my neck hurts from trying to keep my head balanced on it. :0)

Just a great feeling when you live in a world where so many people can just drop off the face of the earth and no one will notice… little things like this come along to remind you that you’re one of the people who count.

Ooh… that came off as terribly elitist, didn’t it? I’m really sorry about that.
No I’m not. :0)
***SNARF!!!!***

Eric Brooks

Turkey with the Demon ’02

Posted on Monday November 11, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Well so far we have the following guests coming over for Thanksgiving:

A tentative “maybe” from the lovely Miss Jen. Problem is, she *THINKS* I’m attempting I-80 and the George Washington Bridge during a holiday to get her in Chinatown. Hah! I tell you, HAH! The point of having it in Pensylfuckingtucky is to *AVOID* that traffic… or else you can join us in Queens, and meet my brother-in-law, where you can both talk about CCD, catchisms, and other Catholic stuff to your hearts content.

Eric Brooks

Veteran’s Day

Posted on Monday November 11, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

“It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.”

Father Dennis Edward O’Brien, Sergeant, USMC
(Blatantly stolen from The Ville)

Nothing more to say… except “Thank You”.

Eric Brooks

MORE letters to -e-

Posted on Sunday November 10, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Dear e:
I am in second grade. I have a boy in my skool and HE IS MEAN. His name is Troy and he is always pickin on me and pulleing my hair! At lunch, he nocks my food off my tray and makes fun of me with all his friends.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH!!!!
Should I have my daddy beat him up, or can you recomend someone that can make him “disappeare” at a reasonable rate?

Love,
Amanda

Dear Amanda:
No. No. No. If your daddy lays a finger on him, he’s going to jail.

To hire a, uh, “Private Contractor”, can be very pricy, and not many of them will do kids. Besides, no one will know you had something to do with Troy’s “dissappearance”, so what will stop one of Troy’s friends from picking on you next? Your daddy will become bankrupt having all these kids whacked, and your teacher may get suspicious.

I forwarded this letter to my friends Batgrl and Skarlet. They’re teachers, and they’re trained to deal with such matters. They both unanimously wrote back: “Oh! That is so adorable, he likes her!” (It is so freaky writing to the two of them simultaneously… I tell ya!).

Gee. Thanks girls. *I* could have told her that!
I got a kid being pummeled here, wanna help me out?

They *both* recommended letting nature take it’s course, and you will see a change in Troy’s demeanor toward you by Junior High.

Fuck that. I say we teach the little fucker WHO’S THE BOSS NOW, Amanda. Ready?
Continue reading “MORE letters to -e-“

Eric Brooks

Letters to -e-

Posted on Saturday November 9, 2002 by Eric Brooks

As an added service here, I’ve decided that maybe it’s time to answer some letters. It is the hope of the mangement here that this will aid in ~~my early parole, or at least a shorter sentence~~ making this world a better place.

Dear e:
I am still upset. My haloween costume came with a gun. My mommy wouldn’t let me take it with me on haloween. She says guns are not toys and they are bad. My daddy says this is wrong, as he has a lot of big guns at his howse that he lets me play with. Who should I listen to? Furthermore what is your stance on the current statute of gun control laws? Should they be stricter?

Billy

Continue reading “Letters to -e-“

Eric Brooks

Typical Male

Posted on Saturday November 9, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

I was supposed to find our more about this Wet T-shirt contest, but I fell asleep. (I know, I know. Typical male).

Here’s More info. (There’s talk about money going to breast cancer research too. which I think is a cool idea.)

Here’s Round Two.

I certainly hope the shit currently being flung in another corner of the web is something new, not another lame attempt to drudge up old wounds, and (MOST IMPORTANTLY) not involving me. I said I was moving on, and I did.

Last summer was a rough one for everyone, we all let off a little steam online, and the mature people are back on speaking terms with each other again. Personally, I had a lot of fun over the summer, and I hope we all get to do it again! :0)

The web is not my life. I *STILL* find real life far more interesting.
The war goes on, and I could give two shits less about *ANYONE’S* feelings. Mine especially (Hell, my feelings stopped mattering years ago!.)

If you can dare to compare people’s bad health, losing parents, being unemployed, losing custody, and whatever else to some stupid blog entry about you…

… then CLEARLY YOU ARE NOT GROUNDED IN REALITY.

*steps down from soapbox to find more wet-t shirt pics. *

Eric Brooks

Blogger wet T-Shirt contest

Posted on Friday November 8, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Hooray for boobies!.

C’mon boys and girls… a Wet T-Shirt contest, and did you REALLY think that would slip past my hyper-testosterone-powered radar?????

Boobs + Blogs.
Why didn’t anyone else think of this?

I understand it’s for some kind of charity. The problem is, I scroll more that two inches down this page, and I will SURELY be fired here at work. So I guess I’ll get the full story when I get home in a few hours.

Wonder what it would take to get Maria, Deb, Chloe, & Kimberly involved….

C’mon girlz, it’s for charity!!!!!!