Mission Accomplished… uhm, again

From triumph to cockfight in a matter of hours
…Or how the NeoCons in America can screw up a wet dream

Perhaps I can explain my stance with a little parable.
They seem to work really well when we needed to take already-scrambled American brains filled with trauma and fear and justify totally irrelevant points in the past:

A man whose family was murdered by a maniac received a call from the police:

“We got him! Come on down to the police station.”

Excited and seeking closure, he arrives only to see a different face in the lineup.

“Mr. Jones”, the police officer asks, “can you identify the man who mugged you ten years ago?”


The officer goes on to explain that the mayor has put high priority of apprehending this suspect. He’s wanted for a wide number of crimes, including murder, rape and armed robbery, and it’s the hopes of the mayor’s office to get him off the streets with Mr. Jones’ testimony.

“Right there. Number two”, Mr. Jones points. Very puzzled and dissappointed.
“What about the man who killed my family?”
“We haven’t found him yet, sir.” The officer replies, feeling his pain.

Mr. Jones leaves the stationhouse with mixed feelings. A dangerous criminal will now spend the rest of his life behind bars, but it still feels like a cheap second-hand consolation prize. Still carrying that hollow feeling inside and no hope for closure.

He still feels the police are doing an excellent job, but he thinks the mayor is a total asshole.

It certainly didn’t take long for the joy and jubilation of one less tyrant on the loose to turn into an immature “Hey, let’s go piss all over the anti-war folks!” gloatfest.

Led by none other than Glenn “IstarePugnant” Reynolds himself. He turns to his Coalition of the Clueless, instills in their empty skulls that Democrats and anti-war blogs are “devastated” by the news of Saddam’s capture (I have yet to read one site where Saddam’s capture was construed as “bad news”.), and yesterday’s news somehow justifies invading a country on pretexts of “WMD” and being a clear and present danger to the United States, and makes it all “worth it”…

Oh wait, the warbloggers had their doubts, so then it became about mass-graves, and rape rooms…

Oh wait, now that we got Saddam, he’s gonna crack, so it’s back to the weapons again…

Just when we were all laughing at Glenn for his questioning of why a protest with Iraqi commies wasn’t all over the American news (Original post), he has this to divert everyone.

Lucky him.
Yes. Followers of Glenn are truly the “InstaPutz-es”. Always good for a laugh. Somehow this little immature rightwing “gloatfest” is now supposed to sway us all to vote for Bush.

Uh huh.

Let’s step out of “fantasy land” for a minute…

    What Saddam’s capture means:

  • The end of his reign of terror over Iraq
  • Will boost the morale of our armed forces who have accomplished something fantastic.
  • Humiliation of yet another “hero” of the Islamofascists, and proving he’s a coward, just like the rest of the “tough talkers” in that region who shut up once they’re staring down a barrel of an M16
  • Checks to suicide/homicide bomber families are going to bounce from now on
  • Possible information to the rest of his operatives, and a slim chance of vindicating the Bush Administration with the location of the mythological Weapons of Mass Destruction
    What his capture DOESN’T mean:

  • An end to the insurgents killing American troops (If you think they’re fighting *for* Saddam, I have a bridge in Kirkuk to sell you)
  • End of the war
  • Troops pulling out any time soon. We’re in this one for the long haul.
  • Any way shape or form letting the U.S. and U.K. off the hook for a war based on faulty/fraudulent information (dare I say LIES?)
  • The end of the Democrat’s chances of winning the Presidency (Are you kidding? There are PLENTY of other reasons not to vote Bush in 2004)
  • Making us any safer from Terrorists here or abroad

Osama bin Forgotten Just curious, does anyone even REMEMBER this repulsive piece of shit over there on the right? Anyone? I understand September 2001 was a long time ago for internet-based Americans, but… World Trade Center?
Pentagon? Flight 93?

“Let’s Roll”…?
Ahhh, your pupils twitched, it’s all coming back now.

When did Osama and Al-Qaeda stop becoming important?
Until Osama bin Laden is captured (or killed), then I’ll consider the blood of some 3,000 + innocent Americans avenged. Instead, we find ourselves swallowing bullshit from the Bush Administration (since Sept. 12 2001) that Saddam is the public enemy #1. $87 Billion dollars that could have gone to rebuilding Afghanistan is now going to settle old scores and set into motion a plan that even Bush Sr. thought was insane.

A war of mass distraction.

Too bad FDR didn’t have Fox News. He could have convinced us to take over Korea after Pearl Harbor… which is pretty much what we did with Iraq after 9/11 isn’t it?

Don’t get me wrong, I am proud as hell of our armed forces. I supported kicking the Taliban’s ass. Yet, because I thought Iraq was going to be a big mistake I’ve had my patiotism questioned, been called “Anti-American”, a “peacenik”, a “Lefty” and all sorts of names.

For NeoCons who don’t get the “Brownshirt” references that offend you so… let me enlighten you on a quote from another fine patriotic man who followed his leaders without question:

“Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.
— Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials [Emphasis mine]

Sound familiar?

Let me save some wingnuts some time in the comments with some ready-made answers (not that I think their short attention spans got them even this far):

  • “Clinton didn’t do shit against terrorists!”
    1. Quite the contrary
    2. And he didn’t need that un-American “Patriot Act” to do it.
    3. Why does every criticism of Bush go back to Clinton anyway?
  • “But he was a horrible tyrant!”
    No shit! Like Pinochet? or Mugabe? or Khadaffi? or a dozen other 3rd-world tyrants? How come none of you are screaming for justice about them? Why? Because you could really give two shits less about them, just like you haven’t given Iraq a thought in almost a decade. Just stop… you’re embarrassing yourselves.
  • “But the mass graves… the rape rooms…”
    Do I look like I care? You only “cared” when your other arguments fell apart. The only time I cared was when U.S. soldiers were captured. Show me one post where ANYONE had any concerns over the plight of the Iraqis prior to Sept. 11th. I dare you.
  • “Tell me this war wasn’t worth it.”
    “The Americans promised freedom and prosperity; what’s this? Go up to their headquarters, at one of those checkpoints where they point their guns at you, and tell them that you hate them as much as Saddam, and see what they do to you,” said Mohammad Saleh, 39, a building contractor… “The only difference is that Saddam would kill you in private, where the Americans will kill you in public,” he said.

    You tell me.

  • “Oh, those poor oppressed Iraqi people!”
    Oh please! I’ve read wingnuts who call on the genocide of Palestinians, Pakistanis and Saudis all the time… what made the Iraqis so freakin’ special? Here’s a clue: What do you do when the people you are trying to “liberate” are shooting back at you? What? They didn’t get the memo?

    The poor oppressed Iraqis are certainly proving they’re willing to stand up to the most powerful military force the planet, yet they didn’t have the spine to take out Saddam themselves? They weren’t worth a drop of American blood as far as I’m concerned. I want my money back.

  • “Would you rather Saddam stay in power?”
    Nice loaded question. This guy answers it better than I ever could.
  • “Can you find hidden weapons in a country the size of California?”
    Funny. Didn’t we all call Hans Blix all sorts of names and thought three months was more than enough time for the U.N. inspectors to find something? Hipocrisy anyone?
  • “Why do we keep letting Saudi Arabia off the hook when we know they finance terrorism (not to mention most of the hijackers were Saudi)”

    Well, moron. (Let me try and use monosyllabic words for this) it’s because…
    Ok, you got me there. I’ve been asking the same question myself.

Is this about being a good American, or a good Republican?
Ok. You got Saddam, Mr. President. Congratulations.
Any chance of you thinking of the American people for the next 11 months?
Or can we have our country back now?

If wingnuts can rampage all over the web over something like this, imagine how they’ll be if Bush is re-elected. (???)

Let’s put these smug pricks back in their place next November.

Eric Brooks

Musician, Programmer, Graphic Designer, Evil Clown - A thorn in the Internet's side since 1997 with no intention of stopping any time soon.

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9 thoughts on “Mission Accomplished… uhm, again

  1. Great post, e…it’s so boring to read the same stupid arguments over and over at these wingnut’s sites…I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been called anti-american, etc…I keep telling them that if they had a legit argument, I’ll gladly listen to them, but it just seems like none of them can come up with something new and original…

    oh well…

  2. I can hear Bush now, “Osama who? Bin what?”

    Well stated, Eric. No matter what people argue, the truth is right there.

  3. I salute you! Until this day I didn’t know that anyone else also knew what capturing Saddam doesn’t mean.
    It’s good he was captured before everyone forgot all about him..

  4. Gina: I stopped wasting my time months ago. All they want is to be told they’re right and you agree.

    Lee, Kathy: Thanx!

    Deborah: It’s all about repetition. You hear something over and over it becomes the truth. An interesting thing this is the first time (that I know of) that the internet was used as an effective propaganda tool. I really have to look into that “Saddam throwing people into plastic shredders” story. Methinks it’s about as true as the incubator stories (scroll down) from Gulf War I.

    Nico: You’ll find a lot of Americans are a lot more wiser to what’s going on these days (of course a large majority are still dumb as posts. Thanks FOX!!) Have you seen The Preznit Giv Me Turkee yet? LOL!!!

    Redeagle: Babe, you and I have WAAY more important things to do with our time than scour the web day and night for news stories and throw in our two cents (what do their spouses do for sex? That’s what I wanna know.). Hell, I hate talking about politics.

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