Author: Eric Brooks

Web & Graphic Designer, Blogger, Musician, Evil Clown. I also code websites and promote people for a living. Still kind of a jerk, though. Approach with food.

The Poconos is (finally) blogging

Posted on by Eric Brooks

It looks like the Pocono Record has succeeded in what they’ve wanted to do for some time… set up a section for blogs.

Blog the Poconos.

It’s about time someone thought of a blogging community in the Poconos. I know when I worked at the paper we tried a blog called “The Dirt” a while back, but nothing became of it.

I like this one. Very clean design, organized… and best of all, the entries are short and sweet. Like a blog should be. And what a great surprise to see Lois Heckman there. In between all her organizations, projects, activism, running a recording studio and being a Celebrant… I don’t know where she finds the time (???).

Good luck to them all. Check it out.

HELP! Contribute to the Nurse Ran tuition fund

Posted on by Eric Brooks

As seen on ~T~ and Ran’s Blogs and all over CyberTown….

OK, this is a first
As some of you may or may not know, my ‘daughter’, my best friend, my roomie, has been going to school to become a nurse.
She has been doing so well, I’m so proud of her!! She only has one semester left until she graduates.
The problem is, according to their website she was supposed to get her financial aid…come to find out, she’s already used her max allotment during the fall and spring terms. And the money for her summer term is due on the 8th

She’s a little short on making her tuition or else she wont graduate… and she’s THIS close!

So we’re asking for a little help from you guys to contribute anything you can to the “Nurse Ran Tuition Fund” set up at PayPal.

~T~ and I go back years. She hosts 75% of my sites. She’s my partner at Problem Adults. This is totally legit, and knowing her and her pride… this is a DIRE situation. Cuz she’d NEVER ask for help otherwise.

A lot of good people have pitched in so far, they’re getting close to the goal… and every dollar counts. Wont you please help a young, struggling single mom become a nurse?
Thanks!
-=e=-

The five most important words I’ll ever say

Posted on by Eric Brooks

DON’T. BELIEVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. READ.

I mean really. This is covered in “Web Survival 101”. In life, everything you know is because someone told you it is so (which is why certain regions have religions that they’re willing to kill for.)

The news is jaded as hell, and “Objective Journalism” is a thing of the past. Your best friend is full of shit. And for the life of me, I can’t think of a single time in my life where I ever got in trouble for lying…

The shit always hits the fan when I’m honest.

Anyway, my point.
The Internet is no better. It’s filled with sick bastards looking to prey on our kids, and crooks looking to get your credit card numbers and passwords. Like that famous line from the New Yorker several years ago: “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.” You can be anything and anyone you want.

So why are you suddenly believing every word from every asshole that talks to you?

From Nikki Sixx’s blog:

It has been brought to my attention that there are a lot of people out there in MYSPACE land pretending to be me. I do not use myspace and anybody who is being sucked in by these leeches needs be aware. I have seen a few sites where there are people making plans to meet me,promises of backstage passes,etc etc.This is complete bullshit and I don’t want any of you sucked into it.

MySpace. Gee. What a shock.

We’d neeeeeeeeevvvvver have celebrity impersonators on Problem Adults. That’s for sure. 😀

DON’T. BELIEVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. READ.
That advice will increase your survival rate by 226%.

Oh and I’m seeeeeeriously considering never going the honest route with people ever again. Clearly most people want to live a lie and be lied to.

Get your FREE Easter / Passover E-Cards here!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

My apologies for the delay, but the E-Card section is back up! 😀

MySQL is doing things a little bit differently now and all of my home grown PhoenixCMS scripts are going to be needing some quick rewrites. But it was tried and tested with my sweetie pie sending mushy cards back and forth to each other all night, and it works like a charm (with a few new improvements)!

GET YOUR FREE EASTER E-CARDS HERE

Where else can you find pics of me as the Easter Bunny doing sick things to people’s mailboxes?

Bunnies need Love too!
(Didn’t you find it a little odd that the Easter Bunny and I have the same initials?)

E-Cards are down

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I’ve gotten a few complaints about the e-card section. Everyone is receiving an error message that it’s doesn’t like certain input. I think it’s tied to the new MySQL here, if you recall it now converts everything to UTF-8 and other surprises. I’ve been having a lot of problems with the way the date functions are working now.

Well, I’ve been meaning to rewrite the script anyway… so please bear with me here, and I apologize for any inconveniences.

Satan is my co-pilot!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I lived a pretty fun life.

For all intents and purposes, it’s over (Hell, according to the Death Clock, I died back in the late 90’s). So, being bored out of my wits lately, the question is… “CAN I die?”

There’s this one turn I take on the way home. It’s sharp around the mountain and I aim straight for it at 70 MPH (If a cop is reading this, that was a typo. I meant to type “25 MPH” like the sign posted says). 😀

Just beyond the metal divider is this ravine… straight down.

Each night I think to myself “This is it….”
… closer….
…… “Here we go”
…. *deep breath. Braces myself* ….

Then, this reflex comes out of nowhere… my body jerks and I suddenly defy the laws of physics and make the turn.

What.the.fuck?
Someone (or something) wants me to live.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s something cruel and evil.

I’ll try skydiving with my hands duct taped with boxing gloves on next. Let’s see what happens to me there. *neener*

!NIAGA slooF lirpA

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Again the High-Holy day of the “Eternal Prankster” is upon us.

If you’re looking at this site in Internet Explorer, you must be going insane right now as the entire site is in mirror reverse (therefore having no idea why we’re all laughing at you right now.) If you’re on Firefox, you’re wondering what the hell is up with the title spelled backwards. Screw you what stroke of brilliance are you showing me for April Fools Day?

In case you’re wondering how this is done, put “filter:fliph;” in your CSS (Preferably in the “p” or “td”) and everything is “flipphed”. It’s an IE-only filter.

Oh NO! It looks like Problem Adults was hacked too! WTF????
And EW! That design is… well… WTF???? ~T~ and I have a reputation as designers to worry about!

Have a good one, you guys!!!!!

Just in time for April Fool’s day

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Live, from my guestbook, I am pleased to introduce…

A must in all gOdOfMiScHiEf arsenals is the ability to clear out a room… and this stuff reportedly STANKS even inside the bottle!!!!

Prank on the Future In-Laws reported 09 March 2006“As soon as I received this stuff I was giddy, almost too giddy. So the first place I wanted to try it out? — my girlfriend’s house, since her parents have dealt an enormous amount of hell for her the past year for living at home for free, I thought it would be a perfect place to unleash my Liquid Ass fury. I didn’t put that much on — I sprayed just like you guys said — in a sweeping motion.

Man, that house smelled like ASS! It was the funniest thing i’ve ever experienced in my entire life. Her mom was asking everyone to check their shoes, and was getting into a fight with her dad saying he must have drug in dog shit. I swear, not laughing was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Your product is the greatest thing ever created.
– Ken Donaberger”

GET YOURS TODAY!!!!!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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