Category: Basic Stupidity

The internet at its finest! I mean, how stupid can they get?

No more drama in my life…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

In the immortal words of the ever-so-sultry Mary J. Blige:
“So tired, tired, tired of all this drama”

Actually… no I’m not. :0)
Hee hee!

*Gets on piano and starts to play the theme to “The Young and the Restless”*

(Starts soliloquy)
You see… this is all bullshit I’m reading.
Just a pack of Attention Trolls™ whining…
Rather than just admit you were wrong
You just keep it going with self-righteous rants…

You stick up for truly disturbed people
You don’t see the gazillion private emails that *almost* got to me
When that didn’t work, then she resorted to kicking people close to me in the teeth
At the worse possible moments
All for the horrendous crime of being my friend
And you keep your eyes shut for that too… youuuuu moron!

What do you think of your friends now?
Oh, like you would even admit it to me
You’re just a jerk pretending to be noble
And I can’t help but throw my head back and laugh at you

* Little Midgets come out and give everyone the finger and wave ’em like they just don’t care *

I know your game now, you moronic little turds
Your spineless posts that you wont stand behind
You are a c-c-c-c-cowarrrrrrrd!
And I can’t help but throw my head back and laugh at you

*ow! that last one hurt.*
*I’m ok.*

So… what bothers you more?
The fact that I spend such *little* time thinking about you morons?
Even *less* effort, kicking your butts up and down the web?
The fact that I don’t link back?
Or the fact that no one is listening to you?

Or is it the guilt eating you up inside as you KNOW you fucked up, and made yourselves social pariahs?
Still rationalizing with your flawed logic
You’re the ones still talking about it…
You’re the ones who think everything I say pertains to *you* somehow…
Remember the “Digital Boomerang”? The “Fuck You Song”?

As much as I’d like to take credit for the dramas your insecurities created…
You did this *to yourselves*… all *by yourselves*. :0)
No one will listen because they know you’re full of crap…
We really have to get you guys a hobby, ‘cuz this is getting pathetic.

*(I’d throw my head back and laugh at you some more… but it’s still sore. Hope you’ll understand if I just quietly giggle at you and the delusional world you created. I’ll be here in the corner, k?)*

Back to living my life again…. with a little less dead weight around here.
But at least I know where to go when I need a good laugh.

Just know, for all the horrible things you guys said and did… I forgive you.

(I know, I know… I should have just kept ignoring them… )

Things I wont be doing at work no more

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Since I’ve been asked nicely by the powers that be, I will no longer…

  1. Walk in singing “Cuban Pete“, and try to start a conga line with the sales staff.
  2. Talk to my “imaginary friend” in the lunch room. See, it’s a vicious cycle. No one wants to sit with me… I wanna talk to someone, but now they’re claiming this is why they dont….
  3. Ask about “the office weirdo”. Everyone keeps saying we have one, but I’ve never seen him/her.
  4. Ignore my phone. I keep forgetting, I’m not home.
  5. Tell everyone taking a smoke break on the loading dock how easy it would be for someone to drive by and mow us all down with Mack-11’s

I’ll be good from now on. I swear.

The truth about boys, Uhm, I mean MEN…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I posted this really frisky dream I had last night in someone’s comments section. Of course, not here… you’d have to know where to look.

Not that you *care*… I’m just saying. :0)

I would also like to add to the ongoing discussion, and confirm Miss Smarty pants’ allegation that men “stalk” too…

We sure do BAY-BEE!

  • I can’t tell you how many times my “Little Black Book” had numbers from girls whom I overheard giving it out to someone else, then I had to come up with some clever answer when they asked how I got their number…
  • Or how many times I’d take an alternate route home from school, for the sole purpose of following a girl (that usually didn’t even know I was alive) home…
  • Or my explaining to my boss that I was an hour and a half late because of “train problems” (which the “problem” entailed me getting off at a different stop, because that’s where a real cutie went..)

    • See? Sure us guys are generally dumb as posts… but we have our tactics too. :0)

    (*My apologies to any males who feel this is, in any way of a “betrayal”, giving out some of our tricks… but “wimmenkind” think we’re “totally dense” and, I’m trying to correct that*)

    In this day and age, maybe “stalking” probably isn’t the best word to use. But there is a *fundamental difference* between a guy following you around, trying to summon up the courage to ask you out… or an emotionally disturbed individual who wants to put your head in a jar of formaldehyde, okay? A *BIG* difference. :0)

    And if Ruth (from the third grade, whom I gave a black eye once) is reading this: I’m sorry…I *really* didn’t mean to hit you that hard, and *YOU’RE* the reason I am obsessed with redheads, baby! YOW!!!! :0)

    Of course, you’re, like, really friggin’ *old* now… EEP!

    An open apology to my “friends” is coming up… I didn’t mean for this to run so long…

    The truth about women…

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    Here is a *GREAT* blog entry, for us men… also known as “The Dumber Sex“:

    “Men, did you honestly think that you saw us wherever you went due to some oddly karmic twist in fate? NO! It took a lot of hard work and dedication to just turn up when you least expected it, seemingly at random! ”

    Oh, well ain’t *THAT* the friggin’ truth!!!??!!??

    I remember when I used to hang out with my best friend John. He had a studio in the back room of his apartment, we did a lot of recording, or just hanging out.

    A lot of the times I was there, John’s wife, Janet, had a friend over. Made perfect sense. She and her friend, Carole both kept each other company while the “hotshot musicians” played in the back room.

    She also came bearing gifts too… my greatest weakness…FOOD. (I was surviving on ketchup sandwiches at that point.) Trays of it. She was a caterer.

    Well, even with her constantly around… it took “Mr. Badass Guitarist/Singer” weeks to finally get the courage to ask her for her phone number.

    … and it took *years* of marriage to Carole for her to finally admit it was a setup all along! Everytime Janet heard I was coming over, she called Carole.

    So HA! HA! on YOU Tess!!!! I’m blowing the whistle on you and, all of wimmen-kind!!!!!

    They’re plotting against us, guys!!! BE VERY AFRAID!

    And…and… they make you *fat*, so you’re repulsive to other women. That’s how they keep you.
    *PPPPTBBBTHHHHHHHHH!!!!!*

    Newz & Gossip (Blog Warz)

    Posted on by Eric Brooks
  • Whoah… what’s going on here? – Rivervision -vs- Jimformation… I’m afraid to comment much about it except this one is as entertaining as hell! Better go read it before one of them apologizes and takes it down.
  • Last week’s Blog Warz – I really should let this go, but after an amazing barrage of emails with people with their own horror stories of their encounter with “My former blog twin“, few people had the courage to publicly voice an opinion on the matter… so I commend Kare and Simply Lee ( here, here, inital reaction here) for presenting, in my opinion, very well-balanced and courageous viewpoints.I mean… if some people “aren’t allowed to use someone’s site”, or if they reserve a right to reject people based on their “vision” of what the web is… why can’t we express our feelings on our own sites (or password-protected discussion boards) without fear of being menaced? It’s *still* a free country last I checked.
  • Gone Brooklyn – I don’t know why I waited this long, but I added Brooklyn Kid to my list of daily reads (did ya click my Related Links menus yet? Tres Chic, non?)Aside from living right by Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Church, in Williamsburg, and my new-found home-sickness… Mr. Cosentino is responsible for one of my most favorite fonts… and one of the most popular downloads on this site.

    Someone recently told me I still have a “Brooklyn accent” (I was asked to say “Dawg” three times.). Weird, considering most people thought I was from FL or CA because of my lack of an accent when I lived there for 21 years.

    I do say “Fuck” a lot, don’t I? :0)

  • Just so I’m not the next victim of “Radical Feminism”… I also added Brooklyn Girl. Another great site… and she’s kinda cute for a Bunny Rabbit
  • JEEEEEZUS!!!! Can somebody show Dave Winer how to spell “Transitioning”??!!??
  • “I saw ‘dama B’Laden!!!! I saw ‘dama B’Laden!!!!” – That was 4-year-old Johnny’s reaction as we passed a mosque on Northern Boulevard, coming in to NYC friday night. Not a lot of muslims wearing turbans and long beards in the Poconos… so imagine seeing Assama plastered all over the tv, and then seeing a tall man, with a long beard and turban, enter this mosque. Poor kid. He’s gonna be okay.
  • I am strongly against any violence against Muslims in this country, buuuuut…. how the hell am I supposed to react when I see this fruitcake plastered all over the newsstands???? What part of “Nobody supports the Taliban” didn’t he get? This guy is a BEAT-DOWN waiting to happen.

    • The road to hell…

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    I’ve taken down Debbie & Kaycee’s banners and links.

    I still want to believe…
    I still want to believe the message I got from Living Colours.
    I still want to believe in the strength of the human spirit.
    I still want to believe that I can go to bat for what I believe is right…..

    Go ahead. Let me have it. I’m a big boy.

    Up and Running!!!

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    I’m on a brand new server and everything is better than ever! Special thanks to Starr Pierce from ICOM, who is now my new best friend! This person deserves a raise for dealing with ICOM’s crankiest customer!!!! (Hey…the squeaky wheel, knowwhutImean?)

    Got bored last night and decided to E-mail the President (yes, I have Bill Clinton’s email addy!) I’ll tell you more about it in Soapbox in a few days.

    …now if only those two guys with the suits & mirrored sunglasses would just get off my lawn…they’re giving me the creeps!

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