Basic Stupidity Archives - Page 5 of 10

Another Pocono Production!

Posted on Tuesday July 4, 2006Wednesday July 19, 2006 by Eric Brooks

Pocono Production (POH – ko -no Pruh-DUH!!! – k’shen – Noun)

Something of inferior quality
Half-assed
Sucks fucking moose dong

JEBUS EFFING CHRIST! What was the theme at the fireworks show, “How the soldiers in Iraq must feel”????

Not naming names, but we were at a resort for the fireworks show and the imbeciles were firing the damn things right over our heads!!! We’re getting hit with hot shells, and running for our lives as these glowing fiery things were dropping out of the sky.

Then the idiot in charge of the fireworks (let’s just call him “Gomer”) has the AUDACITY to come out and ask us (those not rushed to the hospital for 3rd degree burns) “How did you like the show?”.

Well gee, Gomer… perhaps it would be better if our NICE JEWISH INJURY LAWYER gave you an honest review.

*SIGH*

Well at any rate….

(Except for the Poconos…. you SUCK!!!)

THE WEB GOD SPEAKS!!!!

Posted on Sunday March 19, 2006Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

… AND HE SAYS IN A LOUD BOOMING VOICE….

“Jesus Christ I gotta clean the loft today. What a mess!” OY!

My ash tray runneth over. I smoke WAY too damn much.

And cleaning comment spam out of here has become a full time job. (What’s up with the new shit that reads like gibberish?).

~T~ is moving us all on a new server so I’ve been tidying up and backing up all my MySQL data.

Don’t you wish you were me?
Sorry. The position of annoying & sarcastic pain in the ass on the web has already been taken! 😛

But man, speaking of WebGods… are my eyes decieving me? Did I just get a visit by the one and only Mz. Kitty?

I mean, damn… this woman is an internet legend! I remember a time where you couldn’t visit a blog or website that didn’t have her graphics on it! Well, of course I’m still here darling… with all these “Eric Brookses” out there clamoring for this domain name, I ain’t letting it go! 😀

I love when I get emails from some guy named “Eric Brooks”… they’re always amazed to find someone with the same name as them (look in the white pages, genius!). Wonder if all the guys named “Danny Gonzalez” go through this… I had three friends with that name growing up.

Is it me or do all guys named Eric Brooks think they’re the center of the universe? If I irritate you people even HALF as much as these guys do to me… I am SOOOO SORRY!

See a therapist! Maybe we can all get a group discount or something.

Hooray for Sexy Cheerleading !!!!!

Posted on Sunday May 15, 2005Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

A Houston Texans cheerleader dances during the Texans’ Week 8 game against the Jacksonville Jaguars.
(Robert Laberge/Getty Images)

“Sexy cheerleading bill” appears dead in Texas
Senate says it’s not likely to take action on legislation this year

WOOOO HOOO!!!! What a wonderful time to be a man and a sports fan!!!
(OK, well I don’t watch too many sports… but I know this is an important part of it!)

Have you ever SEEN some of the women that scream “Exploitation”?

Woof! Woof!

You will never see a beautiful woman picketing against bathing suit competitions or cheerleading. They know it’s all part of the power and allure that these women hold over men.

The feminists that want it stopped… you really don’t want to see them in a string bikini. Trust me.
Continue reading “Hooray for Sexy Cheerleading !!!!!”

Take that, Hotlinkers!

Posted on Monday May 2, 2005Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Dear CyberPals,

In case you’re unaware of my policy regarding graphics and content on my site here it is again:

TAKE IT!
HELP YOURSELF!
STEAL IT… IT’S OK, I’LL MAKE MORE SH!T UP!

Seriously. Hell, I’m flattered! I’ll never embarrass anyone with a silly email threatening to sue someone for taking my “Intellectual Property” (*snort* Sorry. can’t say that word without laughing.) For starters, it’s not worth me paying a lawyer $75 to mail a Cease & Desist letter; retaining that same lawyer when you respond back with a big ol’ “F**K You!!!”; to fly him and myself to your own home state pay even MORE court fees to get you in front of a judge for him to simply ask you to “take it down”. It’s not worth it. Besides, the most popular ones like Angel.jpg aren’t even mine to begin with. Just something I liked on the web a few years ago and saved on my server.

Besides, if you knew me in real life, you’d know I’d give you the last $5 in my pocket if I knew you needed it.

SAVE IT ON YOUR OWN SERVER!
The only thing I do ask is that you put it up on your server instead of hotlinking off of my site. This website explains Bandwidth Theft better than I can, since some people obviously skipped the class on “Netiquette” when they signed on to the internets.
Continue reading “Take that, Hotlinkers!”

Studies in Misanthropy

Posted on Monday April 18, 2005Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

The Blogosphere has probably got the biggest collection of Misanthropic dumbasses. Ever.

Yes. People suck. Most (not all) people are a waste of your time, energy and resources… but still, why do bloggers expect cyberspace to be any warmer and more cordial than the real world?

The message boards are no better. I’ve been studying this one guy who posts in one section dedicated to “Shameless Self-promotion”, contributes nothing anywhere else in the message board, encourages no one, and is the BIGGEST complainer when no one responds to him!

Boo. Effing. Hoo.

A-Lists have come and gone in the blog world… but there is always that “lesser person” out there who expects the entire world to link to them and shower this loser with adulation when they can only talk about the least-interesting subject in the world… THEMSELVES.

In case you didn’t learn this lesson when you were five: “If you want a friend, you have to BE a friend.” Same with the world of blogs… if you want people to visit your site regularly, you have to visit other people regularly.

Dumbasses.

A.D. means “After Death”?

Posted on Saturday November 13, 2004Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

(For the record, I have no idea what I believe in/don’t believe in any more. While I find the Bible impossible to acknowledge as “the inerrant word of God”, at the same time… something deep inside of me feels there’s something larger than all of us out there somewhere. And maybe, just maybe, there were bits of Higher Truth dictated to people at their level of understanding at the time. I can’t EXPLAIN it. So what I don’t understand, I mock & ridicule)

But I digress…
Not since the above-mentioned title of this post have I laughed so hard at a verbal misfire FROM the fundies….

Until tonight when I saw this post.
“The Bible says: ‘to thine own self be true.’…”

Continue reading “A.D. means “After Death”?”

Surfing the post-election blogosphere

Posted on Tuesday November 9, 2004Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Oy. What a mess.
So much for us all being back to normal after November 3rd, huh?

I’ve thought long and hard on what to say about all the bitterness, sniping, gloating, attacking, crazy talk, suicides and threats going on.

Here goes….
Imagine us all agreeing on every single thing…

Linking only to people who share our views and our values and our opinions….

Reading page after page of people who think exactly like us…

Would that suck ass, or what? 🙂
I’d be bored to fucking tears in a half hour flat.

Jerry Fallwell’s Greatest Hits

Posted on Sunday September 26, 2004Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

I’m not sure how I bounced to this in my nightly surf: Jerry Fallwell Quotes, and I think I’ve struck comedy gold.

Kids… this is why your mommy doesn’t want you eating paint chips off the floor!

“Grown men should not be HAVING sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them”
That one threw me INTO an uncontrollable giggling fit for more reasons than I care to explain.

How’s the wife, Jerry?
Continue reading “Jerry Fallwell’s Greatest Hits”

Why is Kerry losing? (Part One)

Posted on Tuesday September 7, 2004Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

I’ll be 100% honest with you, I’m not thrilled with John Kerry. I thought General Clark or Howard Dean were much better choices. These were guys that didn’t take shit, and if Joe Lieberman (D- Sellout) had spent as much energy bringing down Bush as he did Clark and Dean in the primaries… this election would practically be over. The fact that Kerry is “Not Bush” works for me to get out and vote, but that’s not going to work for everyone.

“They said Howard Dean was a loose cannon, but compared to John Kerry, at least Dean has a cannon.” –Bill Maher, talking to Dean last Friday, on Maher’s HBO show

Bush scores big points FROM me for one thing in this campaign: SIMPLICITY. It’s what you need to reach the people. Not one thing he’s saying is true, but it sure sticks in your head!
Continue reading “Why is Kerry losing? (Part One)”

Pass the cigars around!

Posted on Friday August 6, 2004Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

New ‘Bushism’ Born at Bill Signing

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,” Bush said. “They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

See? Who said ingenuity is dead in America?
If the administration wants to hurt us too… well darn it, I guess it’s okay by me.

As long as it’s new and innovative.

Good for you, Mr. President.

In other unrelated news, Michael Moore suprisingly accepted a new job as Bush’s speechwriter yesterday…

WHUZZUP!

Category: Basic Stupidity