Author: Eric Brooks

Unforgiven

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Ever meet someone who asks several things of you…

…and if you happen to miss accomplishing just one, they make you feel like you shouldn’t have done anything at all? Conveniently forgotten everything you’ve done for them so they can paint you as a spawn of Satan to get sympathy FROM others?

I’m surrounded by people like that every day.
People who are all too ready to believe the worst about me too.
No matter how outlandish. It’s me. They can’t stand me… ergo it MUST be true.
Continue reading “Unforgiven”

Happy Birthday, Bitch!

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Another one of those no-comment posty-thingys….

That’s so you can head on over and wish the Anti-Social Bitch a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Or…Send her an E-Card (I couldn’t make that any easier unless I sent the damn card out FOR you.)

50 greetings or more and Ms. ASB has promised to send me pics of herself in her birthday suit! Of course I’m not supposed to pass them around…

… but you’d think some people should know me better by now. :0)

Sorry, can’t resist

Posted on by Eric Brooks

“One thing is for certain, though, about me, and the world has learned this: When I say something, I mean it. And the credibility of the United States is incredibly important for keeping world peace and freedom.”

– President Bush – 04/13/04

Hoo boy.

  • Trust, Don’t Verify – Bush’s incredible definition of credibility (Slate)
  • Read it already, George (Reverend Mykeru)
  • And for the “Bush inherited the recession” crowd, Blunted on Reality offers rock-solid proof the recession began in March 2001 (A little after Slick Willie’s reign).

It’s not been a good week, has it?
As Robin Williams once said: “Reality, what a concept!”

Personally, I never touch the stuff.

That the best you got???

Posted on by Eric Brooks

It appears some naughty little monkey or two has been HAVING fun in my Guestbook. In the past week or so, I’ve had to DELETE several hundred entries where they just keep pressing “submit”.

I figure it’s more than one because every 2nd or third IP address is the same (yes, I have your IP’s. Read the source code on the Guestbook page, Sherlock.).

Of course since I have an enemy list 2 miles wide I won’t speculate, and I never bothered to run trace routes on your lame ass. I put in a few safeguards, and quite frankly you barely register on my radar as a “nuisance”.

Perhaps if I’m bored one day, I may hunt you down and suck your eyeballs out.
No promises.

I just wanted to use this as an excuse to mention my Guestbook, and I’ll be bringing back the “Guestbook FROM Heaven/Hell” real soon.

I may rig it so the screen explodes in a spammer’s face.
If only I can stop giggling at that thought long enough to write the code.

Easter Bunny Dead in Bizzare Hunting Accident

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Photo/Associated Press
By PETER GOESINYA

AP Sportswriter

STONECREST, PA (AP) – Well kids, enjoy that basket you just got and try and make that candy last for a good, long time.

Two hunters, identified only as “Jerry and Bob”, called the Guinness Book of World Records yesterday to let them know that they just “bagged the biggest f**king rabbit we’ve ever seen”.

The Guinness people realized immediately what happened and notified the police.

The victim was identified as Peter J. Cottontail (672 C.E. – 2004 C.E.), a large supernatural rabbit/human hybrid known and loved by children the world over as “The Easter Bunny”. Cottontail was pronounced dead on the scene FROM shotgun wounds to his chest and abdomen.

Police have held the two hunters on charges of man(-rabbit hybrid)slaughter, hunting without a license, hunting out of season, criminal tresspassing, and “typical redneck stupidity”.

Police report that these two men were arrested back in January, 2000, when they locked their friend up in a Y2K Shelter for nearly two weeks and led him to believe the world was destroyed.

Charges were never filed when it was discovered by a court-appointed psychiatrist that the men had an I.Q. of 85…

…combined.

Now with FOX News spin action

Posted on by Eric Brooks
Who was the President then?
Oh, right a Democrat. The people with such a silly irrational fear of commies that we needed to fight two wars in Southeast Asia because of it. 

Funny how any screw ups involving Republicans is stated “Republican”, yet monumental fuck ups of epic proportions like “Vietnam”, “Putting Saddam in power”, and the “Hostage crisis”… it’s simply billed as “American” mistakes.

– Erox, the merciless –

That’s right, kiddies… in the spirit of debate, and for a limited time only, watch me defend the Bush administration, the Iraq war, and trash Democrats in ways Michele, Acidman and Glen Reynolds can only dream.
Continue reading “Now with FOX News spin action”

Drinking the Kool-Aid™

Posted on by Eric Brooks

For those that don’t quite get the reference (but are afraid to ask), it’s basically the new catch phrase being tossed around on all sides of the political spectrum.

It’s in reference to the 1978 mass suicides in Jonestown, Guyana by the cult of Reverend Jim Jones. They believed his every word, they slaughtered a Congressman and his entourage, and they drank cyanide-laced kool-aid… because Rev. Jim said so.

Whatta RUSH™ flavored... mmmm!To make this new phrase easier for Americans to understand, Kool-Aid™ has a new line of flavors…

So when you’re a lefty buying in to all of the silly 9/11 conspiracy theories because no one in the White House is talking… you’re “drinking the Kool-Aid™“

If you’re a winger following this administration without question because at least no one is getting nookie in the Oval Office and lying under oath about it… you’re “drinking the Kool-Aid™“

(via Blunted on Reality)
Me? I drink Coca Cola exclusively.
How about you?

Getting the job done…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

State Representative Kelly Lewis’ campaign site.

KellyLewis.ComIf all you see is a graphic that says “Launching March 1st”… well, that aint it (and don’t ask!). The new site is currently in propagation and you’ll see it in the next day or two. There will be tons of stuff added in the next few weeks, some PHP magic and my pushing some scripts FAR beyond the limits it was originally designed for.

We all worked together on The Reasons for Christmas Project, which helped raise money for an organization that helps homeless families get back on their feet.

I’m pleased and honored to be a part of the team again.

He’s a good man, good for this county… and he really does “Get the job done”.

(Well in all fairness, with a lot of help FROM his staff too. With all of the issues they have to deal with in this screwed-up ‘burg… It’s easy to spot me and his right-hand man, Jon, at the local diner… we’re the “really tired-looking guys” ready to zonk out INTO our lunches. zzzzzz *THUD*) :0)

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Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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