Aw yeah, CyberPals!
Getting started with production of Problem Adults’ FIRST online commercial!!! Continue reading “Is it HOT enough for you, or can I turn this mother f**ker ALL THE WAY UP!!!??!!”
Category: The -=e=- Show
Inside my world of mayhem! I am a Problem Adult, what can I say?
Another Pocono Production!
Pocono Production (POH – ko -no Pruh-DUH!!! – k’shen – Noun)
- Something of inferior quality
- Half-assed
- Sucks fucking moose dong
JEBUS EFFING CHRIST! What was the theme at the fireworks show, “How the soldiers in Iraq must feel”????
Not naming names, but we were at a resort for the fireworks show and the imbeciles were firing the damn things right over our heads!!! We’re getting hit with hot shells, and running for our lives as these glowing fiery things were dropping out of the sky.
Then the idiot in charge of the fireworks (let’s just call him “Gomer”) has the AUDACITY to come out and ask us (those not rushed to the hospital for 3rd degree burns) “How did you like the show?”.
Well gee, Gomer… perhaps it would be better if our NICE JEWISH INJURY LAWYER gave you an honest review.
*SIGH*
Well at any rate….
(Except for the Poconos…. you SUCK!!!)
Anyone want a chupacabra? CHEAP?
Remember Ernie, my chupacabra?
Maybe I’m paranoid, but I think he’s trying to kill me. A few cats have vanished, and when I ask him he looks at me with his cute widdle glowing red eyes and tries to look innocent.
But I know it’s that little bastard.
And I think I’m next on his list.
I just think he needs a home where he’s loved and understood, so if anyone wants him, please drop me a line. The shelters wont take him because he is not a cat or dog. And don’t worry, he was just neutered (which is part of why I suspect he is trying to kill me.).
Serious inquiries only.
Is it time to build an Ark yet?
Damn….
I’m home because there’s no power in East Stroudsburg. It’s been raining uncontrollably on and off for days and they’re closing the roads soon as we’re expecting massive flooding and more power outages.
And damn I’m up in the MOUNTAINS. What’s going on with you guys? (Of course I had to find a way to state “I’m above you”. I’m a prick that way.). What’s going on? It’s like all the CO2 emissions in the air is causing unpredictable weather and mother nature is getting ready to blow all humanity out of her nose like an infectious SNOT! Why isn’t anyone warning us? Why don’t they make a movie or something????
No, I’m not going to see the movie (though I hear it has rave reviews). Documentaries bore the shit out of me and I learned all about Global Warming and the Greenhouse Effect in school.
But I do have to laugh at the very same people who:
- Believe life began in the Garden of Eden
- Found a quack doctor to state that Terri Schaivo had a “chance at recovery”
- Believe 9/11 was because God is pissed at gays and pagans…
… are calling *THIS* a “MYTH”!!! Despite seeing a killer tsunami and several deadly hurricanes the last few years.
HAW!!! HAWW!!! My irony meter is broken here….
Think God is going to swoop down and save mankind from its own stupidity again?
I wouldn’t.
We are so fucked. 😀
Pre-Fathers Day Rant (Thanks for nothing, as usual)
Would it kill some of you people out there to wish someone a “Happy Fathers Day”?
In their blog comments? In a post? In an E-Card?
Just once? Continue reading “Pre-Fathers Day Rant (Thanks for nothing, as usual)”
Surfs Up, DUDE!!!!!
Aw yes! It’s the un-official start of Summer, Memorial Day Weekend!
I’m thinking today’s the perfect day to take me, the kids and my Babycakes out to the beach and have a barbecue and fun in the sun!!!!! WOO HOO!!!
– Beach towels? Check.
– Cooler stocked with Coca Cola? Heh. Always. Check.
– Gas in the car? Check.
– Swimming trunks, bathing suits for the kids, buckets, surfboard? Check!
– Sunscreen? Sunscreen is for wussies! (Then again with our pale blue-ish-white skin. OK, I’ll pick some up on the way) 😛
AND AWAAAAAAAY WE GO!!!!!!
Update, 8:25 am: Back to Reality – Aw dammit! Half-way out the door Carole just reminded me that I have to work today. 🙁
Ah well… at least I can sit at my desk and bathe in the sun’s rays in my mind….
Why I hate the Poconos (reason #22,406)
Screw you, Fernwood!
Every morning I’m snarled up in traffic as construction is going on in front of the place. Which is ok… there’s this hot-looking brunette guiding traffic. I’m surprised I haven’t caused a pileup as I’m not paying attention and watching her.
But that’s not the point either! Continue reading “Why I hate the Poconos (reason #22,406)”
The five most important words I’ll ever say
DON’T. BELIEVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. READ.
I mean really. This is covered in “Web Survival 101”. In life, everything you know is because someone told you it is so (which is why certain regions have religions that they’re willing to kill for.)
The news is jaded as hell, and “Objective Journalism” is a thing of the past. Your best friend is full of shit. And for the life of me, I can’t think of a single time in my life where I ever got in trouble for lying…
The shit always hits the fan when I’m honest.
Anyway, my point.
The Internet is no better. It’s filled with sick bastards looking to prey on our kids, and crooks looking to get your credit card numbers and passwords. Like that famous line from the New Yorker several years ago: “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.” You can be anything and anyone you want.
So why are you suddenly believing every word from every asshole that talks to you?
From Nikki Sixx’s blog:
It has been brought to my attention that there are a lot of people out there in MYSPACE land pretending to be me. I do not use myspace and anybody who is being sucked in by these leeches needs be aware. I have seen a few sites where there are people making plans to meet me,promises of backstage passes,etc etc.This is complete bullshit and I don’t want any of you sucked into it.
MySpace. Gee. What a shock.
We’d neeeeeeeeevvvvver have celebrity impersonators on Problem Adults. That’s for sure. 😀
DON’T. BELIEVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. READ.
That advice will increase your survival rate by 226%.
Oh and I’m seeeeeeriously considering never going the honest route with people ever again. Clearly most people want to live a lie and be lied to.
Satan is my co-pilot!
I lived a pretty fun life.
For all intents and purposes, it’s over (Hell, according to the Death Clock, I died back in the late 90’s). So, being bored out of my wits lately, the question is… “CAN I die?”
There’s this one turn I take on the way home. It’s sharp around the mountain and I aim straight for it at 70 MPH (If a cop is reading this, that was a typo. I meant to type “25 MPH” like the sign posted says). 😀
Just beyond the metal divider is this ravine… straight down.
Each night I think to myself “This is it….”
… closer….
…… “Here we go”
…. *deep breath. Braces myself* ….
Then, this reflex comes out of nowhere… my body jerks and I suddenly defy the laws of physics and make the turn.
What.the.fuck?
Someone (or something) wants me to live.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s something cruel and evil.
I’ll try skydiving with my hands duct taped with boxing gloves on next. Let’s see what happens to me there. *neener*
Get a thicker skin, or get the HELL outta Dodge City!
I’m not going to waste my bandwidth (or your time) linking to Pocono Crybaby’s recent rant about us outlaws in the wild west and how some joke of a legislation in New Jersey is going to curb all anonymous postings and blogging and protect people supposedly being slandered and defamed…
The readers digest version is: He’s cheering it on because he doesn’t want to be criticized. Any form of criticism to him is “slander”. End of story. I’m not allowed to call him a moron and a crybaby… even doing it here under my REAL name.
I know. Sick, right?
First of all, there is no way in HELL this bill is going to pass. If “Mr. Renegade Blogger” had half a brain and a little experience outside of his pathetic little world, he’d KNOW we’ve been though this over and over… Continue reading “Get a thicker skin, or get the HELL outta Dodge City!”
