I’m light skinned, I live in Queens…

Damn.

For almost two decades, RUN-DMC broke down racial barriers, fused rock and rap, brought it to the streets and the suburbs, and put Hollis, Queens on the map.

Now one of them is gone.

He was a man of peace. A husband and a father of three.
Could have lived anywhere in the world, but he kept Queens as his home, because he was all about giving back to the community.

Like someone just posted in their memorial:
“Rap had just lost their first Beatle”

Rest in peace, Jam Master Jay. šŸ™

Pocono Minute

It was a lovely brisk morning in downtown Stroudsburg, today. The foliage, amid the freshly fallen snow last night, had given our town a “Rockwell-esque” setting.

With my two buttered rolls and my morning soda, I briskly hurried to work.

The school crossing guard greeted me with “Have a nice day sir!”
I froze in my tracks and said to myself “What the fuck??!!??”

Look. I’m from the streets of Brooklyn… N-Y-C, okay?
I’ve had a *lot* of people try to scam and rob me, always engaging in a conversation first…

I never woulda expected it from some 142 year old crossing guard.

Yo, I was putting a stop to this shit. Do not pass go. Nuh-uh.

My first impulse was to pull out my .9mm, and cock the thing against her old, wrinkled forehead (just to scare the shit out of her), but I said, “nah”… she’d, like, die of a fucking heart attack, and somebody would blame me… watch.

So I just decided to chill, and just confront the old bitch. If she tried something, take my watch, or anything, I’d bitchslap her into the next township….

“Yo, what did you fucking say to me???”, I said politely, yet assertively.

“Excuse me???”, she blinks innocently.
Oh, she’s good. I decide to change my approach.

“Lemme ask you something, do you think you’re setting a good example to these kids by talking to a TOTAL FUCKING STRANGER????”
*start knocking on her grey skull*, “Heeellllloooooo????”

“AAAAAAAAH! Get away from me, you lunatic!!!! Or I’ll get the cops” she retorts back.

“I thought so.”, I said.
Shrugged my shoulders and left.

Later on, I heard her at the deli. Bantering on and on about how New Yorkers are ruining the Poconos with their bad attitudes…

Heeeeeey, I got yer “attitude” right here, ya old bitch!

Why nobody likes me (Part 2,153)

(As always, I’m posting on a time-delay due to hospital restrictions)

So, Friday was “Employee Appreciation Day“. Always a cool thing they do here every year… free food, raffles, door prizes, your supervisor serves you. Tres kewl.

Best of all: FREE COKES IN THE VENDING MACHINE!!!!!

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Friday’s done.
Saturday morning, I come in… and much to my surprise, the vending machine is *STILL* dispensing free soda.

WOO HOO! Breakfast is served.
Continue reading “Why nobody likes me (Part 2,153)”

I am a vindictive bitch…

No.
Do not adjust your monitors.

I am dressed in drag for Halloween.
I blame Faith for this… who blames Batgrl for this (who is currently dressed up as Jon Sullivan. are those two getting nauseating, or what?)

Batgrl *TRIES* to put the blame on poor innocent Nerdboy “I’m a fashion model” Mikey for this. Nice try.

Batgrl is simply a “PROBLEM ADULT”. She’s just not happy until she causes trouble somewhere.

At any rate, I am the keeper of the orange now. WORSHIP ME!!!!!

So, who is *YOUR* blog gonna be for Halloween?

Is it time for another friggin update??!!?

You know… I’m one of those guys, that if he has nothing to say, he doesn’t post.

But given my wild lifestyle and track history, that gives a lot of CyberPals cause to panic… so here’s what’s on my plate:

  • My digital empire is coming back with a vengeance – If you knew where to look right now, you can have access to over 3,000 True Type Fonts. The database test has been tested tonight, and it’s gonna rock.
    Continue reading “Is it time for another friggin update??!!?”
  • Saddam, the poopie-head!

    Well, while you guys are all sitting here reading about Liz and why you should stick frostbitten parts in COLD water NOT hot. (Damn, Liz…!).

    Mike (aka Cooties) has been offering quite a well thought-out counterpoint to the impending Iraqi invasion… pulling up news links from Google about Bosnian/Yugoslavian arms dealers selling him some prime weapons of mass destruction.

    Saddam, that is. Not Mike. I meant to write *Saddam* is getting these weapons. (I’m not sure why, but I feel we can *TRUST* the Brown family with a nuclear missle in their back yard. Just a gut feeling.)
    Continue reading “Saddam, the poopie-head!”

    Ghosts of Halloween past

    An entire orchestra in KISS makeup????
    Sounds wild, Batgrl!

    So far, my October has been QUIET and UNEVENTFUL… just the way I like it. (for anyone that recalls, my war with this State began a year ago last week.) If anything, we’ve been given some promising news in January… but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    So let’s drift back to…
    Halloween 1986 – Like most of the 80’s, it was a great time to be alive. My buddies and I did our usual tradition, and hit Greenwich Village (N.Y.C.) for the annual parade…

  • On the M Train heading to the Village from Brooklyn
  • Me with Mike and Tony causing mayhem on the streets of N.Y.C.
  • It was a fun night. The parade rocked… The Village People were on a float, they were playing the Palladium that night for (yet another) comeback. Cars were trying to get through the streets and the crowd was smashing thier windshields in. Don’t bother calling the cops, cuz they couldn’t get through either.

    We also crashed a party where I met a hot looking spanish woman in a tiger costume… mrrrrrowr! It all had the makings of the movie “Bachelor Party”. Remember the one guy who was getting a divorce and was trying to kill himself all night…? That role was played by one of my friends (not in the pics), who was just dumped by a girlfriend, and he just kept drinking himself into a stupor (he can’t drink, btw). He spent the night over a toilet praying for the sweet release of death.

    Lotsa fun!
    (And like the movie, Tom Hanks didn’t get laid that night either… other than that, a great night!)

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