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Old posts here from 1998 – 2003. Frankly, I’m too lazy to sort them, and I don’t think anyone cares, really.
(Honest to goodness conversations overheard in elevators)
Guy One: “Hey, how’s the cat?”
Guy Two: “What cat?”
Guy One: “That kitten I left in a box under your porch…?”
Guy Two: “When did you do that?”
Guy One: “Uh… about a month ago?”
Guy Two: “Is that what that fucking smell is??!!??!!?”
Lotsa great 4th of July photos on Batgrl and Jon’s site. We were at Fernwood, kicking back on the grass, listening to Lucky 7, a cover band playing 70’s funk & R&B (If I were to get back into music… that’s the stuff I’d love to do! And these guys fucking rocked!!!!) and catching their firework show.
No pictures though.
However, today (yesterday) we hit the Rockaway Mall in N.J. so the kids can catch The Grand Skeem making an appearance, and Ashley can build her birthday present.
Then we hit N.Y.C., and in true comic-book crossover fashion, The Adorable BrooksKidz met Boris. (pics at Faith’s site)
In exchange for my son eating Faith out of house and home, she spitefully photoshopped most of my hair off to make me look bald… DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!! :0P
I wonder if I say it again, what will happen to this site:
Heh. Still here.
It must have been that damn “Loop” again.
I was working out a complex formula.
Due to a mathematical error, the results proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don’t exist.
*WHEW*
I suck at math.
On a personal note, a certain unnamed caseworker has a broken leg due to a freak accident.
“Curse of the Warlock” strikes again.
*SweetLittleInnocentGrin*
Screw you guys…
I’m off with the kiddies to go to the pool and talk to Russian babes.
(And if any pictures happen to make it on the web… let me say in advance that the water was probably COLD. Yeah.)
Nothing better be happening on the web until I get back tonite.
-e-
It just came to my attention, that here in the resort, that there are at least two female exchange students from Russia that don’t want to go back.
Their plan is to land husbands… the line forms at the left.
They’re actually quite attractive, hardly any facial hair. 😀
Naw, seriously… they’re actually cuties, guys.
And no “humps & dumps”… uhm, that ploy was already tried today. 😉
And once again I have been asked by someone in the community if I know “any available guys”. When did I suddenly become “a matchmaker”??? What is it, my uncanny ability to spot a scumbag a mile away???
Allow me to share my most prized secrets:
Tip #1: The handshake test. I don’t know how well this will work with ladies, because even I ease up on the grip with women considerably. But with guys? If I feel like I’m shaking a dead fish… you’re fucked. You are a sleazy douchebag with something to hide. A certain someone never listens to my warning about the “handshake test” with their boyfriends… and I have *never* been wrong.
Tip #2: If they are looking up, to *your left* (their right) during a difficult question…THEY’RE LYING. They are accessing the right hemisphere of their brain (the creative side) for something “good” to tell you.
Tip #3: You want me to fix you up with a hot available studmuffin (it kills me to say, there’s plenty in the Poconos… some are even better lookin’ than me. Only SOME.)…. There is a right way and a wrong way…
Crazy people have feelings too, you know. 🙁
Last night, Karaoke at The Log Cabin again.
I sang “Kissing A Fool” and “Ladies Night“… again. (hey, stick to what you know, right?) I was going to give Joshua Kaddison’s “Beautiful in my Eyes” a shot, but things ran late… we had a ton of Japanese people there, staying at Tamiment.
You ain’t lived till you see them guys attempt “Baby Got Back“. Let me tell ya… :0)
I gotta ask the karaoke expert, one day… is there always *one* guy in the bar that has to do *every* Elvis song, right? Any time I’ve gone to these karaoke places there’s *ALWAYS* an “Elvis-Only” guy, and some fool white boy that thinks he can do Motown. *rolls eyes*.
Speaking of which, everyone at the place keeps asking why I don’t do “Play That Funky Music, White Boy“… after all, that was my theme song growing up, and will most likely be on the soundtrack on the movie about my life after I’m gone (or at least fake my death again).
I’ll think about it.
‘cuz this White Boy got soul. *GLEEEE*
But *still* wont attempt anything by the Temptations… not to worry.
I know what you’re thinking, based on all the bull you were fed from Hollywood in the 60’s that The Green Hornet and Kato was a ripoff of Batman and Robin, right???
… well stop that right now! It’s almost painful to think how 20th Century Fox f**ked both of these characters up!
The first “Green Hornet” radio program aired in 1936, created by George W. Trendle… a whole three years before The Dark Knight appeared (Actually putting Bob Kane still in high school…). Well, he is sort of a “spin-off”, but of The Lone Ranger, not Batman. John Reid (aka The Lone Ranger) had an older brother, Dan Reid. Dan is grandfather of Britt Reid (aka The Green Hornet)… you following here?
Britt Reid is publisher of the Daily Sentinel, filling out the pre-requisite that a superhero *MUST* work in a newspaper (Superman and Spiderman does it, it’s the best way to get information, and breaking news stories… unless you’re a seriously-disturbed billionaire obsessed with bats, or a college professor… then beating the piss out of a crackhead in an alley in the middle of the night will do just fine.).
His whole schtick involved getting the news of some major drug/weapon/criminal activity going down, The Green Hornet appears as a feared gangland character, comes in, and threatens the mobsters with extortion (which is hilarious irony, when you think about it.), if they don’t cut him in on a “piece of the action”. Nine times out of ten the criminals decline and orders his men to “waste them”… Kato kicks all their asses, they’re all handed to the police… and the money is anonymously dropped off to some charity in town.
Going over to Britt Reid’s home, he eventually marries his secretary (because sometimes sexual harrassment at the workplace *does* work out.), and you would never suspect that the oriental butler serving you your drink is, in fact, Bruce Lee… and he can probably kill you where you stand in two moves or less.
What’s *not to love* about these guys???? Like my other idol, Zorro, they pose as criminals, f**k authority every chance they get… and kick bad guy’s asses with style and panache.
In the 1990’s Now Comics re-introduces a totally revamped Green Hornet (But of course can’t mention The Lone Ranger because of licensing issues.) And Bruce Lee/Hayashi Kato is alive and well in this world (an alcoholic hollywood actor, who blames himself for the death of the third-generation Green Hornet… but alive.).
If they ever get around to making a new movie about The Green Hornet… it better be good. We’ve already seen Jet Li in the Kato Costume…
And stop calling them “Batman & Robin” ripoffs dammit.
Sources:
The following has been forwarded to me to post by the President of the United Planet of America (since more people come here than the White House site, and he can deny this in case WWIII breaks out.)
DEAR EURO-PEE-ONS:
Yes, that’s right celebrate and laugh it up over the World Cup. Fact of the matter is… GOOD Americans really don’t give a furry rat’s ass about SOCCA.
You see, we have our own version of “FUTBOL”, and I doubt highly that your little German pansies would care to prance around the gridiron up against our N.Y. Giants, Dallas Cowboys, or San Francisco 49’ers… would they? WOULD THEY???? Mah daddy shot down a whole buncha you little Zero* Krauts back in the Big One, and if our boys were allowed to use nukes in this game… tha score woulda been just a little different, that’s all I’m sayin’.
WHOOOOO DOGGIE!
-w-
*(Editor’s Notes: “Zeroes” were *Japanese* planes, not German…. SHHHH!)
You see? YOU SEE????!!!
See what happens when you talk crap about people, blow things out proportion, and threaten to expose the secret identities of the four members of the cartel of super-powered hyper bitches known as “The Loop”… and what happens?
You get unplugged.
The week of tech hell climaxes with a line from Quest going down, and me left without internet service *AND* a website (among a bunch of very irate business owners across the Poconos)….
Today’s Ugly Scale: 8
So I get it….
I’ll submit to “The Loop” and be good.
… for now.
*EvilGrin*
Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.
