Urban Legends and Scams Archives - Page 2 of 3

Anyone want a chupacabra? CHEAP?

Posted on Friday June 30, 2006Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Ernie the Chupacabra Remember Ernie, my chupacabra?

Maybe I’m paranoid, but I think he’s trying to kill me. A few cats have vanished, and when I ask him he looks at me with his cute widdle glowing red eyes and tries to look innocent.

But I know it’s that little bastard.
And I think I’m next on his list.

I just think he needs a home where he’s loved and understood, so if anyone wants him, please drop me a line. The shelters wont take him because he is not a cat or dog. And don’t worry, he was just neutered (which is part of why I suspect he is trying to kill me.).

Serious inquiries only.

The five most important words I’ll ever say

Posted on Monday May 1, 2006Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

DON’T. BELIEVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. READ.

I mean really. This is covered in “Web Survival 101”. In life, everything you know is because someone told you it is so (which is why certain regions have religions that they’re willing to kill for.)

The news is jaded as hell, and “Objective Journalism” is a thing of the past. Your best friend is full of shit. And for the life of me, I can’t think of a single time in my life where I ever got in trouble for lying…

The shit always hits the fan when I’m honest.

Anyway, my point.
The Internet is no better. It’s filled with sick bastards looking to prey on our kids, and crooks looking to get your credit card numbers and passwords. Like that famous line from the New Yorker several years ago: “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.” You can be anything and anyone you want.

So why are you suddenly believing every word from every asshole that talks to you?

From Nikki Sixx’s blog:

It has been brought to my attention that there are a lot of people out there in MYSPACE land pretending to be me. I do not use myspace and anybody who is being sucked in by these leeches needs be aware. I have seen a few sites where there are people making plans to meet me,promises of backstage passes,etc etc.This is complete bullshit and I don’t want any of you sucked into it.

MySpace. Gee. What a shock.

We’d neeeeeeeeevvvvver have celebrity impersonators on Problem Adults. That’s for sure.

DON’T. BELIEVE. EVERYTHING. YOU. READ.
That advice will increase your survival rate by 226%.

Oh and I’m seeeeeeriously considering never going the honest route with people ever again. Clearly most people want to live a lie and be lied to.

Obervations

Posted on Wednesday March 22, 2006Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

There are two kinds of people in the world…

People that want to be lied to.
People that *say* they don’t want to be lied to (but really, they want to be lied to).

There wouldn’t be all those Nigerian con-artists, Elvis sightings and the Weekly World News if it weren’t true. And the old breakup line “It’s not you, it’s me.” wouldn’t be so popular.

Trust me. You WANT to be lied to.
This is why we teach our kids that many of their observations are considered “rude”. Children are WAY too honest and have to be taught to lie in polite society.

I observe people all the time. The good and the bad.
Most people don’t want to hear the bad. And when they do, they seem to forget all the good things I’ve said about them. They just remember the bad. They get incredibly defensive and nasty.

I guess it looks like I’m passing judgement on them, but I’m not. I see things differently than most people. I look beyond the mask you’ve put on and see all the pain and the scars, and all your flaws… the things you either don’t know (or don’t WANT to know) about yourself.

And believe me… I am my own worst critic. You can’t put me down as well as I can.

I don’t see you and all your flaws as a good or a bad person.
It just makes you human. That’s all.

No judgments. Just observations.

Oh no! My account is locked from ebay (again)!

Posted on Friday January 27, 2006Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

How odd, considering I don’t have an ebay account as far as I know of. Yet, I get this email once a week!

Your account is locked from eBay
You have been locked from eBay because our records indicate your account was involved in activities that violate our policies.
If you feel you have been locked in error or want to appeal this decision by providing additional information, please contact us. *

An email regarding this was sent to you in your e-mail.
To confirm your unlock on file at eBay, just click the button below:
**

This will confirm to eBay that your account is working.

Sure it will!!!! LMAO!!!!

* Link to contact “ebay” goes to http:// www.singin-now.go.ro/come-to-become-an-power-seller in-respect-reconoscare-rewared.html

** Button image originates from http://www.geocities.com/syllvesttre/Questions/
And the link goes to http://sign.in.now.home.ro/eBayISAPIsigninebay.html

oooookay……
If at this point you don’t know what a phishing scam is, you’re hopeless.
And honestly, anyone who clicks on those links in their email *DESERVES* what happens to them.

The Last Pope?

Posted on Thursday April 14, 2005Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

The Last Pope: Examining Nostradamus and Malachy (No. 288)

I’ve been hearing a lot of rumors about old prophecies since Pope John Paul II’s death about him being the last Pope and Christianity fizzling out by the end of the 20th Century. Actually according to this book, and this conspiracy site, he is the next-to-last Pope. The link above interests me more, as Nostradamus predicts there would be five Popes after the controversial Pius XII. (JP2 was the fourth Pope after him)
Continue reading “The Last Pope?”

A curse on Sara Freder

Posted on Saturday April 9, 2005Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Ok…. it’s official, psycho-charlatan extraordinaire Sara Freder has crossed the line. She has inadvertently cursed me. I went to her site a month ago for kicks, and she has been spamming me non-stop with lousy predictions ever since…. this was the one for today:

“For me now, there is no doubt: an abnormal event took place at a precise moment in your life. It subsequently thwarted your capabilities and still spoils your real chances of success today.”

“I can even tell you precisely that this dramatic event took place during your adolescence, when you were about 13, I think it is difficult for you to remember anything precise. That event happened in autumn; the weather was bad and you were surrounded by many people, probably during a family gathering. At that precise moment, a person took advantage of these circumstances to put a curse on somebody.”

There’s a secret to fortune telling and psychic readings. They butter you up by making poignant observations about you, which opens your subconscious to some vague generalized bullshit which you will later interpret as their prediction coming true. As a general rule, I find myself going for a psychic reading because I think paying five bucks to sit at a table and having a pretty woman hold my hand and gaze in my eyes is much cheaper than buying them dinner. (I’m a romantic that way.)

Many of you reading this, I make a prediction: Good fortune will come to you on the 15th.
How do I know this? Many of you are paid bi-weekly. Odds are the 15th will be a payday for you. Or… something fortunate will happen… because something fortunate happens every day, but now you will be SPECIFICALLY looking for it on the 15th, and will be amazed at my psychic ability!

No really, come back to this post on the 15th, and regale me with what wonderful things happened on the 15th for you.
Continue reading “A curse on Sara Freder”

Dear Mary Stewart: Please take your spam for phentermine and shove it clear up your…

Posted on Thursday December 2, 2004Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

Between the four blogs I am currently managing… I have deleted well over 1,000 comment spams FROM this jerkoff in the past few days. You’ll never see them because WordPress has some awesome features that automatically detects spam and throws it INTO a queue, pending moderation.

Now for someone who asks “why do these people spam, it can’t be all that profitable?!!?”.

Apparently, you don’t understand the spamming industry.
The companies and websites that you are being spammed with are not the ones doing the spamming. They hire someone to do this.

The spammers get paid whether you buy the crap or not.

Continue reading “Dear Mary Stewart: Please take your spam for phentermine and shove it clear up your…”

Ripping off is the shittiest form of flattery

Posted on Tuesday November 30, 2004Sunday June 5, 2011 by Eric Brooks

THE REAL JOHN KERRY CONCESSION SPEECH

I don’t know how long this guy will keep this post up after I called him/her a fucking thief in a Yahoo club this evening. Sure it was funny. I laughed almost as hard as when I read the same thing on Fanatical Apathy on November 3rd.
Continue reading “Ripping off is the shittiest form of flattery”

Help me, you techie nerds!

Posted on Friday May 30, 2003Saturday June 4, 2011 by Eric Brooks

To those in the Cabal of the hidden society of people who run the web (though we don’t exist)… I apologize for missing the meeting today and giving my monthly statistics and logistics report.

I get to the site to log in and this shit pops up on my screen. Telling me I’m being investigated, my ISP is cooperating and I have a big problem.

All because I went to a password-protected site???
Continue reading “Help me, you techie nerds!”

KayCee Nicole: One Year Later

Posted on Saturday May 18, 2002Friday June 3, 2011 by Eric Brooks

KayCee Nicole... a bright new Angel in the heavens I’m not gonna lie to you. I cried like a baby at my desk.

My boss gave me a little time to go outside, have a cigarette, compose myself.

I’m actually remembering this as I just saw Miz Kitty’s Post, and Dan’s thoughts on the matter.

I never understood the anger afterward though. People, no one ever heard of before in KayCee’s circle of friends, showed up all over MetaFilter like rabid pitbulls, forming a mob. I have to question how much were they emotionally invested in this privately that they were suddenly so bitter and vicious (I mean to the point of obsession!) over it all.

Yes, the people closest to “KayCee” were shocked, hurt… and basically knocked for a loop as they just realized that they were living a lie.

But they didn’t stop caring after that.

A lot of you were there, so I won’t even attempt to re-write history. I defended her at MetaFilter, when I should have shut up and waited for the facts to come in. Ran my own private investigation, got called a “sicko”, watched my words get twisted by the same idiots that told you to “trust no one”, yet you questioned them… and they got loud and defensive.

*deep cleansing breath* Let’s not go there… that was then, this is now.

KayCee may not have been real, but what we all felt was. The turmoil we felt was “throwing out the baby with the bathwater”. Kind of screwed people up to think that they had such emotions invested in someone that never existed.

Was that really such a bad thing? To reach out and care for a total stranger??? Even if it means the risk of getting burnt?

Dan quotes a song based loosely on 1 Corinthians 13:1, which basically means that without love… it all means nothing..

On the web, it’s all pretty one sided. This weblog is no exception. You only can know what the author *wants* you to know. There may be another side to the story… it may be exaggerated… it may be pure unadulterated bullshit.

If it’s too great of a risk, then there are “Kaycee Nicoles” all around you in real life. It may not be leukemia…. they may be hungry, they may be homeless, they just may need someone to listen.

Are you gonna stop caring? Are you going to close your heart for good?

I can’t. It’s just not in my nature.

“I’d like to think if one of us needed something, we’d react the same way again.“

Awwww… you bet your bippy, Dan!
(Except maybe next time I’ll shut the f**k up on MetaFilter…) ;0)

Thanks guys. I really needed to see this.

WHUZZUP!

Category: Urban Legends and Scams