Since I’ve been asked nicely by the powers that be, I will no longer…
- Walk in singing “Cuban Pete“, and try to start a conga line with the sales staff.
- Talk to my “imaginary friend” in the lunch room. See, it’s a vicious cycle. No one wants to sit with me… I wanna talk to someone, but now they’re claiming this is why they dont….
- Ask about “the office weirdo”. Everyone keeps saying we have one, but I’ve never seen him/her.
- Ignore my phone. I keep forgetting, I’m not home.
- Tell everyone taking a smoke break on the loading dock how easy it would be for someone to drive by and mow us all down with Mack-11’s
I’ll be good from now on. I swear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah…