LAYER ONE:
Name: Eric a/k/a -=e=- a/k/a gOdOfMiScHiEf a/k/a Rik Havyk a/k/a LoKi a/k/a Astaroth a/k/a Vortex of Mischief
— Birth date: ) 08/23/65
— Birthplace: BROOKLYNZ IN DA HOUWZE!!!!
— Current Location: Poconos, PA
— Eye Color: Ice Blue
— Hair Color: What’s left is Mousy Blond
— Height: 5′ 8″
— Righty or Lefty: Writes left, does everything else right
— Zodiac Sign: Leo/Virgo

LAYER TWO:
— Your heritage: White Trash/Devil. I dunno. I’m kinda mixed.
— The shoes you wore today: I dunno. Same black shoes I wore yesterday?
— Your weakness: HAH!!! Like I’d tell you.
— Your fears: Success
— Your perfect pizza: Must have meat – Sausage, Pepperoni, Meatballs or all of the above.
— Goal you’d like to achieve: To stay a nobody, betray as many people as I can, find a way to make money doing it

LAYER THREE:
— Your most overused phrase on AIM: Damn, I didn’t sign off in time, and you caught me!
— Your first waking thoughts: Where’s my Vivarins?
— Your best physical feature: Well, I suppose if I ever get locked up, my Mick Jagger-like lips will make me quite popular
— Your most missed memory: Like I can remember. Is this a trick question?

LAYER FOUR:
— Pepsi or Coke: Coke. Like duh, okay?
— McDonald’s or Burger King: I’d prefer a Wendy’s Triple, but I’ll settle for a double whopper w/ cheese
— Single or GROUP dates: Group, but if my wife catches me, I’m DEAD!!!
— Adidas or Nike: The cheapest sneakers on the rack at Wal-Mart
— Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Coke
— Chocolate or vanilla: Butter Pecan
— Cappuccino or coffee: Coke

LAYER FIVE:
— Smoke: Anything cheap & menthol
— Cuss: Moi?????
— Sing: hmmm… maybe.
— Take a shower everyday: It’s June ain’t it? Thanks for reminding me.
— Do you think you’ve been in love: Love is for suckers
— Want to go to college: One of my regrets that I never finished. But it’s too late now.
— Liked high school: Only as a senior
— Want to get married: AGAIN??? Are you chewing on drugs?
— Believe in yourself: Well, somebody has to.
— Get motion sickness: Nope
— Think you’re attractive: Nope
— Think you’re a health freak: hahahahahahaha!!!!!
— Get along with your parent(s): Well, I did.
— Like thunderstorms: BORING. Lightning storms ROCK though. That’s me btw, not my gay-ass half-brother Thor. Don’t listen to him.
— Play an instrument: I hope so

LAYER SIX:
In the past month…
— Drank alcohol: Ew. Barf…
— Smoked: Like, duh?
— Done a drug: Drugs are bad mmmmkay?
— Made Out: Like, with a girl or something? EEEEW!
— Gone on a date: See answer above
— Gone to the mall?: Huh-LOO? I’m an American. Is there any way to avoid a mall?
— Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Probably
— Eaten sushi: No, but I’d KILL for sushi
— Been on stage: Karaoke count?
— Been dumped: A loser like me? Whaddya think?
— Gone skating: No
— Made homemade cookies: No
— Gone skinny dipping: No. (You’re welcome)
— Dyed your hair: No
— Stolen anything: Even if it was nailed down, bay-bee!
— You sound boring: Fuck you. Your questions suck.

LAYER SEVEN
Ever…
— Played a game that required removal of clothing: Who hasn’t?
— If so, was it mixed company: People yes. Farm animals no.
— Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Stoned out of my gourd. Heh. Still am. heh heh.
— Been caught “doing something”: Unfortunately. No comment where the witnesses are buried though. Don’t ask.
— Been called a tease: No. They either didn’t notice, or didn’t care.
— Gotten beaten up: Had my ass handed to me more times than I can count.
— Shoplifted: *snort* What do YOU think???
— Changed who you were to fit in: Of course. I become whoever I’m surrounded by.

LAYER EIGHT:
— Age you hope to be married: AGAIN????
— Numbers and Names of Children: 7 Christina,Ashley,Erika,Samantha, Johnny, Puddy & 2-Tag
— Describe your Dream Wedding: I pull this stunt that would make Houdini jealous you see… then I call FROM Canada to ask everyone “how was it?”.
— How do you want to die: In a plane smacking INTO a mountain. Awesome view, fast & painless… it’s perfect.
— Where you want to go to college: Again with the college questions???
— What do you want to be when you grow up: Hah! Like that’ll ever happen!
— What country would you most like to visit: Great Britain would be cool. See where my family came FROM in Liverpool. Understand why they got the hell out of there.

LAYER NINE:
— Number of drugs taken illegally: How many times, or how many kinds?
— Number of people I could trust with my life: 1 (Oh, did you mean besides me?)
— Number of CDs that I own: 4 or 5… I really need to get with the times
— Number of piercings: 1
— Number of tattoos: 0
— Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: My picture was in the NY Post twice, but I don’t think my name was ever in the paper
— Number of scars on my body: can’t count that high
— Number of things in my past that I regret: “Not banging this one… not banging that one…”, moving to the Poconos… the list is endless
Stolen from: Nicole who stole it FROM Laurie who stole it FROM yo mamma, who stole it FROM meegan…. I stole it FROM Rha

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Classic line of the month:

"Blowjobs, I like em, I’m proud of it and I suck in a good way."

What? There can be no comment after that line. I just can’t figure out how I missed it the first time, that’s all.