Help Wanted: Straight man for comedy routines

… well the ‘straight man’ can be gay, too. Just don’t look for me to share the same hotel room when we go on tour. (I’m homophobic on Tuesdays and Saturdays… rest of the week, I’m okay up until the third ‘Racist Friday’ of the month…. then there’s the half hour of ‘religious piety’ and 15.2 seconds of ‘political correctness’ each second month…)

Inspired by Cootie’s Ready Made Punchlines, and I figure if I add a few of my “starters”, maybe someone can come in, whip up a middle part and make some decent jokes…
Continue reading “Help Wanted: Straight man for comedy routines”

The hand that rocks the dreidel…

Alright… eight crayyyyyyyzee nights!

If you’re not:

  • Scrambling across malls and rioting for Christmas gifts
  • Blowing up shit in the name of Allah for Ramadan
  • Doing, uhm, Wiccan stuff…
  • Most likely NOT reading this post because it’s Friday after sunset…
  • THEN YOU MUST BE CELEBRATING CHANUKKAH!
    Continue reading “The hand that rocks the dreidel…”

    The weather outside is frightful…

    …. but we had a nice cozy fire going in the fireplace all day, so we really didn’t give a damn. :0)

    Of course, even Anarchtica had a Norman Rockwell-esque setting to it, as a snowstorm closed all the schools down on Wednesday. If I recall, someone was wishing for a “White Thanksgiving”, so for those who didn’t, I offer you this… and sincerely hope none of you are taking it as rubbing it in (though it’s SO obvious I am).

    Turkey with the Demon ’02” was a smashing success due to the Mrs’ culinary skills and all our wonderful guests: Which included entertainer Johnny Kai (who was thrilled to hear the news from another fellow Hawaiian that the waves in his home island of Oahu is enjoying 8-12 foot waves); our friend, Jeff dropped in with his mom and sister… and a bunch of neighbors stopped by for coffee & dessert…

    … and of *COURSE* there was TWO pecan pies among all the other cakes!

    I got yer attitude right here, Canada-boy!

    You have a Shitty Attitude! Go figure.
    You have a Shitty Attitude! Go figure.
    You’re an asswipe. It’s that simple.
    You’re whiney, annoying, and tiresome.
    One day, someone’s gonna smack you.
    Take the What the Hell Kinda Attitude is That? Quiz at aka cooties

    (Via Michele. And yes, I’m as shocked at the results as you are.
    Cooties is out to get me. Simple as that.)
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    OOH! I had a visit to my site by THE MAN today at 10AM (checking his stats, obviously)…

    So… remind me why YOU people think YOU’RE so special???? :0P

    Opinions…

    “Opinions are like assholes… everyone has one, and they all stank.”

    Please don’t think this is directed at anyone. Actually it’s more like directed at EVERYONE (except you, of course).

    I’m sick of opinions. I’m sick of blogs with opinions. I’m sick of blogs with opinions, where it’s so obvious that the writer is reaching some sort of epiphany with a lesson in life that they should have learned in their mid-20’s.

    I try my very best here to tackle topics with satire, rather than express a point of view. There’s enough opinions on every subject in the world in blogland… I figure you need mine like a whole in the head.

    What are your thoughts on opinions?
    We’d like to know.

    A lovely day at work…

    Yeah you heard me. I’m here at work.
    … and the Cranky-Meter is currently set to “11”

    (Usually on “9” or higher, something cute and cuddly runs the risk of being seriously maimed.)

    Since 3 long walks, and smoking half a pack of cigarettes isn’t working…
    And I’m pretty sure a human sacrifice to appease Astaroth may be considered a social faux-pas in my cubicle (conference room is probably better)…

    I think I’ll try going offline for a while.
    Nobody needs to deal with this shit in cybertown…

    Thank you all for allowing me a moment to vent, and amuse myself with whimsical homicidal scenarios….

    (Oh, and I wouldn’t say the name of this post’s category out loud if I were you.)

    Hollow Be Thy Name: The origin of Anarchtica

    Sherri recently asked, as did Shasta. “What the hell is up with this site and all the disturbing imagery?”. I made a lot of new web friends over the last few months… to explain this all would require a recap of the last 2 1/2 years of my life (which most of my friends that come here already know).

    This was buried in the comments, I thought I’d reprint it:

    Once upon a time, I had a fancy ol’ dot com address, I named my whole little world “CyberTown”… tons of downloads, real successful site. That little guy there in the blue zorro outfit was my mascot “CyberPal”.

    Due to personal problems this time last October, I flipped out, tore it all down, put up a blog called “Enemy of the State”, lots of whining about my problems (very therapeutic) my CyberPal mascot becomes this masked avenger for justice.

    In July of this year, I was hit with court orders to remove certain content… it was easier to just tear it all down and start again. (I just don’t have the time now…)

    So “A N A R C H T I C A” is the sequel to “Enemy of the State”… it picks up with Cybertown being decimated and overrun by Astaroth and his demonic forces.

    (The picture you’re talking about is a couple embracing themselves before the nuclear explosions turn them into skeletons…)

    No hope, and the only way out is by way of a body bag.
    Happy, chipper stuff, y’know? :0)

    In other news…

    It seems the dispute below has been dealt with…
    Pages have been taken down, and certain comments were asked to be removed…

    So before I’m accused of being a “ghoul” or a “vulture” (It’s okay when *I* say it. When YOU say it… it’s WRONG!), time to move on.

    In other news: I found the terminator for my scanner. It’s been missing since I moved in April.

    dongle.gif

    While it looks like a DONGLE (in it’s thickness and fatness, and the fact that you stick it in the rear of a port.). It is NOT a DONGLE, it is a TERMINATOR.

    Everyone see the distinction?

    Lotsa pics are on the way….
    (No not of me “plugging” the rear of a port… this is a FAMILY-ORIENTED site, you dirty little monkeys… I’m talking about pics in a scanner! YEESH!)

    Cat-fight (or W.W.N.D.)?

    Oh man… this one is ugly, and involves a cat that sadly passed away.
    No one in their right mind would comment or link to this particular debacle.

    Fortunately for everyone, I don’t let silly things like “conventional sanity” and/or “common decency” get in the way of bringing you the very best and most entertaining flame wars on the web…

    I’m like a vulture.
    Only funnier. :0)Brawl of the Week

    Cal (Gammerstang) -vs- Kimberly (Erratic Frog)

    Yep… insiders *knew* this was coming…
    The story was: Cal gave Kimberly a cat. Kimberly took care of it. The cat recently passed away.

    The debate now lies in its cause of death, who’s negligent, and is there a private agenda going on to either get sympathy or trash someone.
    Continue reading “Cat-fight (or W.W.N.D.)?”

    New Elitist bastard on the block…

    Of course I expect 100% of the credit for Mike (aka Cooties) making his meteoric rise to the top of Blogdex yesterday.

    Surely the million billion tens of thousands twelve people that visit me every day saw the link, and added it to their site for this surprising last-minute miracle….

    Of course, success hasn’t spoiled our humble little Mr. Brown, whose credits to our community include creating the Z-List Blog & ZForum, creating chatrooms (BatChat, Faith’s Chat, etc…), The Pepys Project, and Fun with FormMail abuse….
    Continue reading “New Elitist bastard on the block…”

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