Sorry, can’t resist

“One thing is for certain, though, about me, and the world has learned this: When I say something, I mean it. And the credibility of the United States is incredibly important for keeping world peace and freedom.”

President Bush – 04/13/04

Hoo boy.

  • Trust, Don’t Verify – Bush’s incredible definition of credibility (Slate)
  • Read it already, George (Reverend Mykeru)
  • And for the “Bush inherited the recession” crowd, Blunted on Reality offers rock-solid proof the recession began in March 2001 (A little after Slick Willie’s reign).

It’s not been a good week, has it?
As Robin Williams once said: “Reality, what a concept!”

Personally, I never touch the stuff.

Easter Bunny Dead in Bizzare Hunting Accident

Photo/Associated Press
By PETER GOESINYA

AP Sportswriter

STONECREST, PA (AP) – Well kids, enjoy that basket you just got and try and make that candy last for a good, long time.

Two hunters, identified only as “Jerry and Bob”, called the Guinness Book of World Records yesterday to let them know that they just “bagged the biggest f**king rabbit we’ve ever seen”.

The Guinness people realized immediately what happened and notified the police.

The victim was identified as Peter J. Cottontail (672 C.E. – 2004 C.E.), a large supernatural rabbit/human hybrid known and loved by children the world over as “The Easter Bunny”. Cottontail was pronounced dead on the scene FROM shotgun wounds to his chest and abdomen.

Police have held the two hunters on charges of man(-rabbit hybrid)slaughter, hunting without a license, hunting out of season, criminal tresspassing, and “typical redneck stupidity”.

Police report that these two men were arrested back in January, 2000, when they locked their friend up in a Y2K Shelter for nearly two weeks and led him to believe the world was destroyed.

Charges were never filed when it was discovered by a court-appointed psychiatrist that the men had an I.Q. of 85…

…combined.

Ghosts of the past, conflicts of the present

There’s lots of new changes on the site whether you see it or not. For starters, the site is “skinned”. I’m in the process of making a back-end CMS (content management system) that controls my links, fonts, and now the guestbook.

As you can see, I haven’t added the “Sign my book” function yet. And as you can tell FROM the most recent date… it’s been awhile. It’s almost painful to read some of the entries and remember what they were for.

A lot of history here.


No, I’m still off until March… and with a series of brand new redesigns. But a few things have come up…

A ghost FROM the past has come back to haunt me in the form of a legal action next month that requires my undivided attention. The fact is, this case shouldn’t be. Of course, you know how the court system in PA works:

  1. Plaintiff open his mouth.
  2. Judge looks at defendant.
  3. Defendant has to prove their innocence.

I’ve never seen such stupid horseshit in my life. I have to prove this dickhead has no case, rather than the judge asking what evidence the plaintiff has to justify wasting our time. Otherwise I have to deal with my stuff being auctioned again to pay whatever the judge awards this clown just for filling out three forms and showing up.

Oh yeah, and he’s in a wheelchair too. Tell me how my odds are.


I’m torn here…

I’ve always been enamored by the concept of us all HAVING a sense of “community”. Aside FROM the typical things that communities do, like get together, have barbeques and block parties and good times…

… there comes times when you have to take out the trash.

Some people rise to the occasion, and some people don’t. I remember the outrage when we heard that a married adult blogger asked an underage girl to masturbate on her web cam, when another turned out to be a manipulative prick that hurt people and hid behind their charisma, when another led us to believe she had a daughter dying of cancer…

The list goes on over the years. The offending parties end up being chased to the outskirts of town with torches and pitchforks… and we never hear FROM them again.

In a strange, ironic twist… a post FROM a dear, sweet friend showed up in my referrals today to remind me that there are people that care… and there are people there for you when you need them.

There’s more to it though. Lots more. You can ask anyone that gets involved… there’s a price to pay. You get the “Why don’t you mind your business?” email harassment. You make enemies for life. If you don’t get enough backup, you get the shit kicked out of you for all to see.

Been there done that. More times than I care to remember.

It’s a big-ass community now. The stakes get higher and higher.
Do we start taking the “mind your business” route?
Do we take it when we stand more to lose than gain?
Do we do it even after we’ve been burnt so many times in the past?

I don’t want to give out particulars just yet (it’s not political, ok?). I’m very interested in what you think.

Is it worth it to get involved in the web community anymore?
Is it time for some of us to hang up our badges as “Net Police”?
You can even post anonymously and/or not leave an email.

SoApBoX: Mission Accomplished… uhm, again

You know…

I *TRIED* to be nice. I figured I would stay out of trouble for the next few months so I can fix some things here, I wouldn’t get political until after the political conventions this summer…

I thought my response below was gracious and honest, and then warbloggers had to play let’s gloat and piss all over the place and litter “anti-warblogger” comments, and ruin what was an awesome day for America and Iraq.

So in keeping with the “there’s an equal and opposite reaction” law, here’s the rest of my response of yesterday’s news:
Mission Accomplished… uhm, again

Some parental notes about tonight’s school performance

1. Lady in the row in front of us: No offense, but HOLY SHIT you have the ugliest friggin’ kid I’ve ever seen IN MY LIFE! I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be cruel… but damn! All I wanted to do was toss him a banana and see if this infant can peel it with his feet.

2. Music teachers: Please understand that I have the world of respect for teachers. Especially music teachers. I have no patience. Any one I tried to teach guitar, it usually ends in 15 minutes, as they form a “C” chord wrong and the screaming begins, followed by six weeks of therapy for the poor kid.
Continue reading “Some parental notes about tonight’s school performance”

Murdering cranky neighbors now legal in Galveston

Durst not guilty in neighbor’s murder

I knew something was up when the jurors were taking too long to deliberate.

Sure he admitted to killing Morris Black, and chopping up his body in a blind panic…

Obviously this was a case of a very cocky prosecutor’s office, who was sure they were getting him on 1st degree murder and didn’t bother charging him with anything else.

Johnny Cochran, Robert Shapiro and O.J. Simpson were unavailable for comment at the time of this post.

However, with the strange disappearance of his wife in 1982, and being a suspect of two murders in California… I somehow don’t think we’ll be hearing the last of Robert Durst.

God, I hope he doesn’t move to the Poconos.
I sleep with one eye open as it is.

More witty comebacks

My New Book

A couple of months ago, I posted “Clever comebacks you can use”. Based on simple remarks that slip out of my mouth on any ordinary day.

Since then, countless women across the globe were addressed with such lines as “What beautiful children you have. Adopted?”.

Here’s some new ones FROM the “I can’t believe you just said that” files. FROM my upcoming book: “Like Morton Downey Jr. (Except I’m still alive)” Feel free to use them in your comments next time some anonymous ballbuster decides to pay you a visit, or on your boss, or on your darling in-laws.
Continue reading “More witty comebacks”

Must be the heat

As the ugly clusterf*ck that we like to call the blogosphere continues in all its anger and self-righteousness and cowardly trolldom, I have to wonder if perhaps Dan has the right idea.

I have officially hit my “flame quota” for the week.

I’d like to remind you that the “name the newsletter title” contest is still going on for the two or three people on the planet that is still speaking to me.

Attacks on commenters will no longer be tolerated here.
(Unless they’re really really funny. It’s a judgment call)
Disagreement is cool. It sparks discussion.

Blast FROM the past

Wow… how cool is this?

While searching for, *ahem*, me, on the web (oh shut up! You do it too, ok?), I stumbled on someone who saved “Casualties of the Browser Wars“… which I wrote in 1999 for the now-defunct Internet Day news site.

I also scored a lot of design gigs over that article too. And, Oh… the death threats I got FROM Netscape fan(atic)s all over the world was awesome. They were coming in for weeks!!! :0)
Continue reading “Blast FROM the past”

A (brief) moment of sanity

One of the cool things about terrorizing the web with a meme, is that you find yourself flooded with visitors FROM Blogdex and DayPop. As I continue to relish in all my smug jerkiness… I read a few other things on the front pages.

Most notably was Glenn Reynolds’ “The Good, The Bad, and the Blogly“. Which was, as he states on the page, a response to the sniping about Dave Winer’s (*takes a moment to kneel and genuflect*) “What makes a weblog a weblog?“.

Add that with all the furor of Rebecca Blood’s, and Paul, Meg, and Matt’s books on blogging, and I have to ask a simple, itty, bitty question…
Continue reading “A (brief) moment of sanity”

Proudly powered by WordPress
Creative Commons License
EricBrooks.Com® is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.


Connect