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Inside my world of mayhem! I am a Problem Adult, what can I say?
(A conversation in the darkness)
“I did good, right?”
“You didn’t have to. We would have fought the armies of Hell for you.”
“I know… but there’s enough going on.”
“You didn’t have to do this. You were meant to be.”
“Apparently not. Hey, there’s an reason for all of this. We just don’t know it yet.”
You inherited my uncanny ability of bad timing…
And my sense of self-sacrifice.
Off to the Heavens, my little warrior angel….
Daddy will always love you.
Since I’ve been asked nicely by the powers that be, I will no longer…
I’ll be good from now on. I swear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Dr. King, Sgt. Pepper, Vietnam, Summer of Love, Woodstock…
Naps and ba-ba’s… NOW WE’RE TALKING about the 60’s!!!!
… I found out I wasn’t invincible after all.
I also found out just how unforgiving I am, too.
I’m reading this off a can of mace.
This is serious stuff.
“First Aid: Remove subject from contaminated area and position subject in an area of fresh air. Verbally reassure subject and continue to monitor subject throughout the decontamination process…”
*puzzled*
What kind of passive/agressive bullshit is this???!!???
“Verbally reassure” him of what…? Though he’s a thug that tried to mug/rape/muder you, he’s probably a good person deep inside?
One can only assume that “subject” just got sprayed with mace for a relatively good reason. So grab a crayon, and write this over your mace instuctions:
“First Aid: While subject is covering his eyes and screaming like a little sissy bitch, repeatedly kick subject in the nuts. Should subject remove his hands from his eyes, discharge more mace. Repeat until subject’s eyes are bleeding, melted out of it’s orbital sockets, or until can is finally empty; whichever occurs last. Leave for dead.”
I mean, really.
I know, I know… it said: “Please keep off, signed, Batman“.
Did that little fat kid listen?
Noooooooooooooo…..
Actually that was at a boat show in Upstate N.Y., circa 1968. I’m the little fat kid. I got to ride on the Batboat from the “Batman” tv series… and even got a certificate (I think still have it. If I find it, I’ll scan it.) That I am a certified charter member of The Batboat Club: Stamping out Crime on the 7 Seas.
I don’t remember much, I was only three… but I do remember when that old geezer let me sit in it, those plastic seats were hot as hell!
How did Burt Ward *not* fry his little balls with those skimpy tights is a wonder to me!
Lotsa great 4th of July photos on Batgrl and Jon’s site. We were at Fernwood, kicking back on the grass, listening to Lucky 7, a cover band playing 70’s funk & R&B (If I were to get back into music… that’s the stuff I’d love to do! And these guys fucking rocked!!!!) and catching their firework show.
No pictures though.
However, today (yesterday) we hit the Rockaway Mall in N.J. so the kids can catch The Grand Skeem making an appearance, and Ashley can build her birthday present.
Then we hit N.Y.C., and in true comic-book crossover fashion, The Adorable BrooksKidz met Boris. (pics at Faith’s site)
In exchange for my son eating Faith out of house and home, she spitefully photoshopped most of my hair off to make me look bald… DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!! :0P
I was working out a complex formula.
Due to a mathematical error, the results proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don’t exist.
*WHEW*
I suck at math.
On a personal note, a certain unnamed caseworker has a broken leg due to a freak accident.
“Curse of the Warlock” strikes again.
*SweetLittleInnocentGrin*
You see? YOU SEE????!!!
See what happens when you talk crap about people, blow things out proportion, and threaten to expose the secret identities of the four members of the cartel of super-powered hyper bitches known as “The Loop”… and what happens?
You get unplugged.
The week of tech hell climaxes with a line from Quest going down, and me left without internet service *AND* a website (among a bunch of very irate business owners across the Poconos)….
Today’s Ugly Scale: 8
So I get it….
I’ll submit to “The Loop” and be good.
… for now.
*EvilGrin*
In regards to one of my previous remarks on “Enemy of the State”… the one where I said “I have no friends”.
I know I should have dealt with this sooner… this has gone though many, many drafts on my desktop, all while the other posts were going on.
I’ve concluded that the more I say… the worse I’ll make it. To some of you, this will look like I’m just copying and pasting this from your emails when you complained. This isn’t for you. This is for all of the others I hurt that *didn’t say anything* to me. No links. You know who you are.
Do I have friends on the web? Of course I do.
I have friends, who were freshly burned by Kaycee, and sent me money to get my kids back, anyway. I have friends that sent us christmas cards, and gifts for the kids, knowing I couldn’t do the same for them. I have friends that listened to me cry on the phone. I have friends that I have shared the most painful, crippling moments of this entire ordeal with… the chapters of the story that will never see its way to a web page. I have friends that knew when to give advice. I have friends that knew when to just listen. I have friends that have *never* cast judgement. I have friends that cut me slack at work when family problems were overwhelming. I have friends that offered me a home on their websites, servers, and comment boxes when I needed a place to let it out. I have friends that have done some absolutely phenomenal things for me and my children, and have sworn me to never tell a soul what they did. I have friends that saw me say “I have no friends”, and weren’t offended…. they dropped me a line to say: “I know exactly what and who you meant by that.”
That remark was *NEVER* directed at my friends.
We’re going to leave it at that.
*You* have changed the lives of a family you may or may not ever meet. You need to know that. You need to know what you’ve done with your random acts of kindness and friendship. You need to know all you’ve done for me.
And *you* need to know that *I* know it too.
It may seem at times that I forgot all that, but I never did.
I am alone right now.
Not as a wounded puppy afraid to limp out into the sunlight again.
I am alone by choice.
It is the driving force at the core of my being.
It’s who I am.
I would have never found it again if it weren’t for my friends.
This is not so much an apology as much as it is an acknowlegment, a “thank you” to you…
…my friends.
For I am truly blessed, and sometimes wonder what I ever did to deserve any of you.
Now enough of this “reality” bullshit, y’all… I’m gonna have a good time anyway! ;0)
Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.
