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Hi… this your CyberPal!
When I’m not licking asbestos shingles on a dare, I like to spend my time playing with potentially deadly insects!
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It all began when… (screen gets fuzzy and wavy) I woke up this morning and thought a tissue was stuck on my stomach. As I pulled it, I realized that it was some form of a creepy bug (white, about 3/4 of an inch long with black tick-like legs… is there an entomologist in the house?) halfway burrowed into my skin.
Anyway, to make a long story unbearable…
Carole had to pick up Ashley and rushed her to Pocono Medical center with abdominal pains. After work, I head over there… dizzy and weak as hell. They’re not 100% sure, but they think she may have some kind of parasite in her stomach. So I inform the doctor of my adventure this morning to shed some insight on this. Perhaps, since we live in the woods (aka middle of nowhere) our house may have some unwanted guests lurking in the woodworks.
“Do you have the insect, so we can take it to the lab?”
“Uh… no, I drowned the sucker under scalding hot water and he went down the drain”
Uh oh… wrong answer
“You should have saved it… that’s why God made plastic baggies.”
“God made plastic baggies?”
So me, with my yellowish-red eyes was immediately admitted, bloodwork, urine sample, lyme disease test… the works.
Carole pensively awaited the results. She knows I’ve been sick for months, tired all the time, dizzy, pale.
AND THE RESULTS ARE (insert drum roll)….
nothing!
She feared my condition could have been Lyme’s Disease, Diabetes, Anemia or a combination.
“Your husband’s perfectly normal…”
“Uhm, that’s a questionable term doctor”
Just simple burnout and dehydration. Prescription: Plenty of fluids and more than three hours sleep a night.
Carole’s relieved I finally saw a doctor. I’m sure Kare, wherever she is, is thrilled, as she also knows I haven’t seen a doctor since 1988.
So there… you’re all stuck with me for a decade or two, TOUGH NOOGIES!.
… and my tongue went back to it’s normal color after a few months, thanks for asking.
To the Warrior with the soul of a poet…