Category: The -=e=- Show

Inside my world of mayhem! I am a Problem Adult, what can I say?

Vacation

Posted on by Eric Brooks

(No not “hiatus”. The old crew knows what “hiatus” means. This is a good thing we’re talking about here.)

As of 5:01PM EST… I have officially gone on vacation.

Unless you count occasional bouts of unemployment, and the times I’ve been locked up and/or institutionalized… this is my first REAL vacation FROM work since 1988.

I love you all, but the web is the LAST place I want to spend my time.

If you lived in a resort community with two pools, a golf course, recreational staff and a nightly Hawaiian show… well, you would feel the same way too.

I’ll probably be hanging around behind the scenes tweaking things, and catching up on other projects. The kiddies are already waaaay ahead of me in the sunburn department, and I feel I need to catch up with them.

Maybe I’ll watch some TV too…
Watching Fox News is like watching an electronic adolescent that has appointed itself the strident, belligerent defender of the Bush administration and its foreign policy.
…who knows I may come back as one of those moronic warblogging nitwits? (Banner shamelessly swiped FROM Beastie.)

There’s plenty of coke in the fridge, and some great sites to surf on my links page.

And go give Chey and Todd-n-Robyn some love, k?

I’m outta here…

So long, suckers,
-e-

// Updated 10:48 PM: Comical Ali is back. Unconfirmed rumors say he’ll be replacing Letterman this summer. (via Fancy Robot)

Ding Dong, the bigot’s dead!* Strom Thurmond dead at 100. (via me and AP)

I’m off to watch Stripperella. Don’t let me catch none of you wimmen watching the network-not-allowed-to-be-called-SpikeTV, the ONLY network for men™!!!

(You know, it’s only a cartoon version of her movie Barb Wire… what, were they afraid of getting sued by Jane Fonda for naming it “Barbarella” next?)

* // UPDATE 6/28: Probably the smartest thing I’ve read all weekend:

“He was a stupid old man. Let him be. And if you do rejoice, don’t complain about people thanking Jesus for Paul Wellstone’s aircraft maintenance.”
–Reverend Mykeru –

Considering we met as we were both appalled at the fiendish glee that some people shared over a girl being ripped in half by a bulldozer, this is some very sage advice. I think it’s time I started thinking before pressing “submit” on a kneejerk reaction.

(Of course the tickets for my OWN funeral are still selling like hotcakes among all my hataz. Hey, what are ya gonna do?)

Mr. McGhee, don’t make me angry…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I guess in light of tonight being the premiere of “The Hulk“, and inspired by many posts by pops on the subject…

Perhaps I should shamelessly re-plug my 3D flash movie:

sd_intro.gif

The First Episode of The Super Dudes – “Incredible, Ain’t it?”
NOW PLAYING ON NEWGROUNDS.COM

Maybe with a big enough pep talk, I’ll get around to making the second installment, where Captain America talks to kids in an inner-city school about drugs?

No. Nothing is sacred to me. Why do you ask?

A (brief) moment of sanity

Posted on by Eric Brooks

One of the cool things about terrorizing the web with a meme, is that you find yourself flooded with visitors FROM Blogdex and DayPop. As I continue to relish in all my smug jerkiness… I read a few other things on the front pages.

Most notably was Glenn Reynolds’ “The Good, The Bad, and the Blogly“. Which was, as he states on the page, a response to the sniping about Dave Winer’s (*takes a moment to kneel and genuflect*) “What makes a weblog a weblog?“.

Add that with all the furor of Rebecca Blood’s, and Paul, Meg, and Matt’s books on blogging, and I have to ask a simple, itty, bitty question…
Continue reading “A (brief) moment of sanity”

Scram

Posted on by Eric Brooks

There’s no such thing as “Father’s Day” here.

Not for me. Not on this site. Take a hike.

There are far more worthier people for you to send your well wishes and accolades on. They deserve it.

For Tom Butcher, the sperm donor responsible for the mess of a human being who writes the drivel on this site… I hope someone stumbles on this page in a google search, and lets you know someone out there thinks you’re a piece of shit on this lovely day.

I would like to think that somewhere deep inside my “father’s” black little heart that there might have been some shred of humanity in him. Maybe he thought of coming back to visit once or twice, but thought that maybe too much time has passed, it was too late, or he wanted to have this really good excuse that he’s come up with in a tomorrow that would never come.

My wife (who’s adopted) really pushed for me to try and track him down once we got the internet. I was able to communicate with people in his hometown in West Virginia. People were really responsive too.

It got really close until I told them who I was, and why I was looking for him.

Then these people stopped writing back.
So fuck them too.

I wrote “Dear Dad” on what would have been my mother’s 75th birthday. I decided this will be that one kick in the balls I’m sure my mother would have wanted to give him.

Because the day I wrote that… it officially became “too late”.
The window of understanding and forgiveness is closed forever.

I had one “happy” father’s day post here. In 2001, when the kids treated me out to a visit to stables, and I rode a horse for the first time. All the cute home-made gifts, waiting for me afterward… I felt like the luckiest guy on the planet.

It was just a few short weeks later that they were ripped out of my arms by the state police and two madwomen FROM Child Abductive Services with court orders, all for the crime of being down on our luck… and just because they can.

They’ve never gotten over it. They’re home, but they’ve never felt safe and secure since. I’ve never forgiven myself for allowing that to happen. And I can’t think of this day without remembering July 12th, 2001.

Don’t even think about contacting me today. Don’t want to be consoled, don’t want to hear about how I deserved it all for whatever I wrote about you or your friend in a post, and I sure as hell don’t want to hear about your “similar experiences”. Just back the fuck off today.

There’s no Father’s Day here.
Just broken hearts, an empty soul, and more rage and hatred than I know what to do with.

Around The Web

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Moving on to bigger and better things…

Coming Soon!

  • Project #1 – Pennsylvania Music Awards – Much like his wildly successful Hawaiian Music Awards, Johnny Kai is bringing the magic here to the mainland. I mention this now, as I know a lot of musicians in Pennsylvania… and I want to get the buzz going now. The Awards will be launched May 2004. I’ll keep you posted on registration, voting, and all that fun stuff when the site goes INTO development in a month or two.
  • Project #2 – Super Secret Project – Probably coming out in the Fall. I have contacted a few people privately about it. There’s a lot of excitement. But that’s all I’m allowed to say. It’ll be open to everybody, but there’s only a small SELECT GROUP of people that I trust at this moment.

    • Newz & Gossip

  • Will the REAL Moxie please stand up – Oy-friggin’-vey. Apparently the age old blog war of “Hey, that’s my name… you stole it!” has reared it’s ugly head (yet again). Moxie.nu -vs- Moxiepop.I won’t waste my time linking to either of them, as this qualifies as the “Dumbest CatFight of the Year (so far)“… instead I direct you to Kevin Parrot’s hilarious photoshop coverage of the “Rock ’em Sock ’em Moxie Boxing” match.
    (Try and say THAT three times fast!)
  • New girls in town (at least to me) – I’m not sure if they are aware of the Warblogger degree that extreme right-wingers are forbidden to link to sites like mine (or at least deny being my friend), but I found them in my referrers anyway: Right We Are! – A conservative, pro-US, Republican blog by two chicks on the right side. I may not be able to stomach yet another “Bush can do no wrong” site…… but well, I refuse to talk politics on my site anymore anyway.
    … and Republican girls *are* sexy!
    Welcome to CyberTown, ladies.

    • Send in the clowns…

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    In about an hour or so, I will be off with La Famiglia and the extended ones off to the Clyde Beatty Cole Bros Circus (See if you were my REAL friend, I would have free tickets for you too.)

    This will of course involve a drive past a mile-long demonstration of protestors FROM PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals), and their “Boycott Animal Abuse” signs. Has anyone ever wondered if any of these animals would still be alive had they been left in the wild? Just curious.

    One of my other questions would be: What if the circus was in your town, and an elephant dropped dead in the middle of the big top? What… exactly… do you do then?
    Continue reading “Send in the clowns…”

    Newz & Gossip

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    It’s probably too late to mention this, but if you’re planning on coming up for The Pocono 500, don’t bother. It’s raining really bad and everything has been cancelled until probably Monday.

    To the NASCAR fans who are already here, I have been asked to kindly remind you to keep your campers, pickup trucks, and motor homes as far off to the side of the road as possible… and please place all of your empty beer cans in the proper receptacles. Don’t think of the rain as an obstacle… but rather as an unexpected opportunity to bathe this week.

    Thank you.

  • A happy anniversary today to Rha and Solonor. (no. they are married to different people. Don’t be silly.) Rha has made a fun game at Quizilla for you to play also.
  • Hunting Season: Day Two – *cough*look at the forum*cough*
    You see, when you are up against an opponent who dismisses you rather than addresses the issues, reasoning with them is rather pointless. The winner in this game will not be determined by who’s right, but rather by who gets in the last word, and which one runs away crying like a little bitch. Oh no. This requires a special blend of guerilla warfare not seen since the bloody days of UseNet.

    So please take the following tips FROM your Friendly Neighborhood WarMeister™:

    • Be anonymous
    • Get down & dirty (10 extra bonus points for any personal references)
    • Drown the ignorant prick with noise
    • Chaos and confusion reign supreme
    • Tell all your friends

    Kindly read the previous post before giving me your “bad karma” bullshit. The high holy Imam Eric® has declared a Fatwa (holy war), and bad karma will come to those who sit idly by as good people in our community are abused by cruel outsiders.

    • Thank you. Remember to tip your waitress on the way out.

    It must be summertime…

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    It must be the warm weather which wakes the neanderthals out of hibernation, as they come dragging their knuckles out of their caves and in our faces.

    Yeah, I’m referring to Kat’s tormentor. That asshole, TGO. (I think it either stands for “Totally Gutless One” or “The Gay Orifice”, who knows.)

    Nothing spells “pathetic loser” like a guy that has to fabricate his own hate mail, or have a forum where he starts topic after topic that no one bothers to read, much less give a shit about. He claims to have this army of fans. I believe if there were such people retarded enough to adore this mental midget, they’d all be illiterate, and stumbling on big words like “the” or “dog”.

    I feel for ya, TGO. Adoring fans with a second grade reading level make for a shitty fan base on the web. (If I’m losing you here, I CAN type slower.) Personally, I think if you don’t count your right hand, your so-called “army of fans” would total to exactly ZERO. Yeah, I got you pegged, asshat.

    I think we should kick off the summer festivities by declaring open season on this asshole for torturing a woman who’s already in a great deal of pain.

    Sure it’s like shooting fish duct-taped to the wall at point-blank range, but I have nothing better to do. And I really need his three hits a day, and all the anonymous posts this lamer is going to try and pull. Though I really doubt Turd Grabbing Oddball has the balls to take on an able-bodied man, that will probably put a size-11 foot up his ass if I’m ever down his way on business.

    He calls it “Freedom of Speech”, where I come FROM it’s called “Harrassment and Menacing”.

    He’s a funny guy.
    But looks aren’t everything.

    Inspiration and other mushy, icky, girly stuff

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    You’re the rock that I stand on
    You’re the girl of my dreams
    You’re the one who brings music to a world ripped at the seams

    You’re a starlight serenade
    An angel sent FROM above
    You’re my inspiration of love

    One of the things that annoy the hell out of me (beside annoying love/dove/above rhymes) is the number of things I start but never finish. I wrote this song in 1992, even got as far as most of the MIDI programming. Certainly never went to the studio with it.

    Of course I would think of this song every June 5th.
    It’s the song I wrote for our wedding. Today’s our 11th anniversary.
    Continue reading “Inspiration and other mushy, icky, girly stuff”

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    Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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