Category: The -=e=- Show

Inside my world of mayhem! I am a Problem Adult, what can I say?

The polls are closed

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I’ve closed the comments for the contest…

I’ve got a couple of great submissions FROM Jack, Toxiclabrat, and Crazy Tracy
(Kare is unfortunately ineligible, since after all she owns the diary site in question… but has been a really good sport through all of it.).

    Somehow, I thought it would be a no-brainer, but I’m really stuck.
    Q: “What is a bhoomi-bhoomi?” 

  • Jack – “An indian word for Mother Earth” (the running gag that followed was priceless)
  • Toxiclabrat – “Man, I thought it was a white version of Bling..Bling..”
  • Crazy Tracy – “It’s lesbian sex, using a dildo, a cordless drill and a sit-and-spin.”

I need some help… people.
Continue reading “The polls are closed”

New contest – Win a music CD

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Allrighty!

It’s time for some good, clean, wholesome fun…
I need an excuse not to post for a few days, and what better way to do this than to run a contest?

Give me your best answer for this:
“What is a bhoomi-bhoomi?”

My original guess was either “Pikachu’s illegitimate half-brother FROM Nigeria”, or “a new creative way to describe a baby with gas”… but they were both wrong, and I don’t have the nerve to ask the owner. So let’s make something up, kiddies!

The Reasons for Christmas ProjectThe winner gets a copy of The Reasons for Christmas Project.
A compilation of great songs by various artists in the Poconos for a worthy charity.

Use the comments, email me, or ping me…
Deadline is Monday night at 8PM.

Pocono Web Designers

Posted on by Eric Brooks

Hmmm… I just did a search on “Pocono Web Designers” and found I’m only ranking #4 on MSN Search, and #22 on Google (well, I SHOW up a little earlier on the list, but it’s work-related.)

This disturbs me, as once upon a time I was king of all I surveyed.

Three years ago, three sites I made were the #1, 2, & 3 search results for “Homes in the Poconos” (Which of course drew a lot of traffic and leads FROM New York City)… now I see only one is hanging in at #8. (and that site is long gone.).

See, I know all the tricks, and the places to go for search engine placement and submission. I’ll be more that happy to share some of my secrets. Privately. Nothing I would publish publicly, or all of the other pocono web designers will do it.

The one trick I can share is using the words you want to be found for (Like “Pocono Web Designers”, for example)… on a page that is constantly updated and kept fresh will definitely advance your placement.

I certainly hope you folks don’t think that’s what I’m up to here, with my constant reference to Pocono Web Designers over and over in this post.

I’m not saying that I’m not.

I just don’t want you to think it, that’s all. :0)

More witty comebacks

Posted on by Eric Brooks

My New Book

A couple of months ago, I posted “Clever comebacks you can use”. Based on simple remarks that slip out of my mouth on any ordinary day.

Since then, countless women across the globe were addressed with such lines as “What beautiful children you have. Adopted?”.

Here’s some new ones FROM the “I can’t believe you just said that” files. FROM my upcoming book: “Like Morton Downey Jr. (Except I’m still alive)” Feel free to use them in your comments next time some anonymous ballbuster decides to pay you a visit, or on your boss, or on your darling in-laws.
Continue reading “More witty comebacks”

Last Call for the Newsletter contest…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

There’s some really funny stuff in the comments, I definitely think there will be several winners.

Did I forget to mention there’s PRIZES involved?

Come on, where’s my think-tank of CyberPals??? Let’s keep it coming.

Oh, and have you subscribed yet? It’s freeeeeee…..

If you’re not sure, you can punch in your email address and it will either add you or tell you you’re already in the database.

LAST CALL FOR ENTRIES!!!!!!

Name the newsletter title contest…

Posted on by Eric Brooks

I’ll probably be sending out another WHUZZUPDATE! Newsletter out on Monday. I had some issues with the mailer back in May, which resulted in a lot of undeliverable mail to

  • AOL addresses
  • POP3 emails
  • ISPs with very strict spam filters
  • … and well, dead emails as my mailing list was pulled off my Yahoo Club circa 2000.

    • Continue reading “Name the newsletter title contest…”

    What’s in a birthday?

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    So I punch my birthday in this Press any key thingy (Stolen FROM Batgrl)…

    Of rare beauty – If “walking death” is considered rare, true.
    knows how to adapt – I am a chameleon. Actually, I think I’m invisible.
    likes luxury – If I had a clue what “luxury” was…
    of good health not in the least shy – Not true. I am very shy.
    tends to look down on others – MOI????
    self-confident – Damn skippy.
    determined – mmmmm…yeah, I can see that one.
    impatient – Ridiculous! It’s not my fault everything takes too damn long!
    wants to impress others – Doesn’t everybody?

    many talents -(OH SHUT UP! All of you!!!) Jack of all trades maybe. Definitely not muti-talented. I haven’t mastered Japanese yet.
    industrious – I have to be. Every system I’m asked to use SUCKS!
    healthy optimism – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (btw, you DIE at the end of the story.)
    waiting for the one true love – Not true. I see him in the mirror every morning. Otherwise, I gave up on that “love” crap a long time ago.
    able to make quick decisions – Uhhhhhh….
    cocky, overconfident, ÜberJerk. – okay, okay… I made that one up.

    Blast FROM the past

    Posted on by Eric Brooks

    Wow… how cool is this?

    While searching for, *ahem*, me, on the web (oh shut up! You do it too, ok?), I stumbled on someone who saved “Casualties of the Browser Wars“… which I wrote in 1999 for the now-defunct Internet Day news site.

    I also scored a lot of design gigs over that article too. And, Oh… the death threats I got FROM Netscape fan(atic)s all over the world was awesome. They were coming in for weeks!!! :0)
    Continue reading “Blast FROM the past”

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    Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.

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