What's new at EricBrooks.Com plus news and gossip all over CyberTown
Hey did you get an email that said
“Possible Virus – Check Your C: Drive“?
Congratulations. You’re an idiot.
Sulfnbk.exe was put in Windows98 to restore long filenames. It’s a hoax.
And you just deleted this file because one of your AOL “Forwarding friends” told you to.
For more information on this hoax, check out Antivirus.About.Com.
About ten of these emails have hit my inbox… and counting.
Y2K Mike
The web looks like it can use a laugh right about now.
Remember what you were doing during Y2K?
Since we all like to get roped into tales of hardship that may/may not have happened… here is the harrowing tale of a survivalist and his wife being trapped in their Y2K shelter for nine horrible days, while his redneck buddies let them think the United States was destroyed (laughing their asses off above ground).
A hoax you say?
Please don’t insult me.
I assure you the story of Y2K Mike is quite real*, and all the cynics can go to hell.
*In light of this article, maybe I better flat-out say it’s a PARODY. Penned in January 2000, with a new shock ending rewritten last night, which you may find pretty amusing…
…or not.
Get noticed on my site…. submit a 274×58 banner and be placed in several key zones on www.ericbrooks.com.
Click Here, and sign on for an account. The banners have to be on your site. When you’re done, give me about a day or two to put them into rotation, then you’ll get a name and password to check your stats (clickthru’s exposures, all that fun stuff).
It only took four days, but I finally got the scripts to work.
Everything you know…
… is because someone told you it is so.
– Think about it (Philosophy 101)-
Contrary to popular opinion, Jon Sullivan and I have pretty much been laughing our asses off over the Kaycee fiasco.
Think about the “Suzie” episode on Seinfeld.
You laughed. I heard it.
She got us good, didn’t she?
Sure we were hurt, dismayed, shocked, lost our faith in humanity, locked ourselves in a room, curled in a fetal position, wouldn’t eat our dessert…
But it was great.
When you guys are all done being mad at Debbie (assuming she exists…) I would like to welcome her into my very small (but probably larger that your…) circle of friends.
Any woman that can move so many people with her words like that is one hell of a writer and has my respect. She’s probably a better writer than Lance Arthur, Jeffrey Zeldman and Halcyon combined.
Hell, maybe even a better writer than me…
Ok, let’s not go overboard now. ;0)
Whaddya say Debbie, wanna be buddies?
The rest of you, get over yourselves, okay?
I’ve taken down Debbie & Kaycee’s banners and links.
I still want to believe…
I still want to believe the message I got from Living Colours.
I still want to believe in the strength of the human spirit.
I still want to believe that I can go to bat for what I believe is right…..
Go ahead. Let me have it. I’m a big boy.
(reprinted from JimForum)
On my window was a moth… usually one of the most revolting-looking creatures that ever existed.
This one had the prettiest pink colors on its wings and legs. I actually had to stare at it for a while. It was beautiful.
<begin commercial>
Hi… this your CyberPal!
When I’m not licking asbestos shingles on a dare, I like to spend my time playing with potentially deadly insects!
</end commercial>:
It all began when… (screen gets fuzzy and wavy) I woke up this morning and thought a tissue was stuck on my stomach. As I pulled it, I realized that it was some form of a creepy bug (white, about 3/4 of an inch long with black tick-like legs… is there an entomologist in the house?) halfway burrowed into my skin.
Anyway, to make a long story unbearable…
Carole had to pick up Ashley and rushed her to Pocono Medical center with abdominal pains. After work, I head over there… dizzy and weak as hell. They’re not 100% sure, but they think she may have some kind of parasite in her stomach. So I inform the doctor of my adventure this morning to shed some insight on this. Perhaps, since we live in the woods (aka middle of nowhere) our house may have some unwanted guests lurking in the woodworks.
“Do you have the insect, so we can take it to the lab?”
“Uh… no, I drowned the sucker under scalding hot water and he went down the drain”
Uh oh… wrong answer
“You should have saved it… that’s why God made plastic baggies.”
“God made plastic baggies?”
So me, with my yellowish-red eyes was immediately admitted, bloodwork, urine sample, lyme disease test… the works.
Carole pensively awaited the results. She knows I’ve been sick for months, tired all the time, dizzy, pale.
AND THE RESULTS ARE (insert drum roll)….
nothing!
She feared my condition could have been Lyme’s Disease, Diabetes, Anemia or a combination.
“Your husband’s perfectly normal…”
“Uhm, that’s a questionable term doctor”
Just simple burnout and dehydration. Prescription: Plenty of fluids and more than three hours sleep a night.
Carole’s relieved I finally saw a doctor. I’m sure Kare, wherever she is, is thrilled, as she also knows I haven’t seen a doctor since 1988.
So there… you’re all stuck with me for a decade or two, TOUGH NOOGIES!.
… and my tongue went back to it’s normal color after a few months, thanks for asking.
To the Warrior with the soul of a poet…
Thank you for touching our lives with your insight, optimism and humor. The world was a better place with you in it.
You’re gonna make a great guardian angel….
Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are solely those of Eric Brooks. They do not necessarily reflect those of his employers, friends, contacts, family, or even his pets (though my cat, Puddy, seems to agree with me on many key issues.). In accordance to my terms of use, you hereby acknowledge my right to psychoanalyze you, practice accupuncture, and mock you incessantly with every visit. As the user, you also acknowledge that the author has been legally declared a "Problem Adult" by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and is therefore not responsible for any of his actions. ALSO, the political views and products advertised on this site may/may not reflect the views of Puddy or myself, so please don't take them as an endorsement. We just need to eat.
